Dr. W.R. Marshall
WR Marshall is a syndicated columnist and novelist. His column, 'A Dull Ache'(tm) is read in over one hundred markets around the world. He also has a PhD, which he's still paying for--in more ways than one...
Read WR everyday at:
adullache.today.com
Read WR everyday at:
adullache.today.com
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Articles by Dr. W.R. Marshall
October 07, 2008
"A screaming comes across the sky. It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now." Thomas Pynchon
Why Pynchon?
Because he appeals to the intellect.
And because it´s literal.
There is a screaming across the sky, a constant shrill chorus filling the air. And it ha...
July 29, 2008
When I started writing this column a while back, I thought it´d be good for a few laughs, and every now and then something would be added to the political debate that wonks and readers are supposed to engage in.
Turns out there is no debate.
In the Bush/Cheney era of ´I´m ...
July 22, 2008
This yutz says more stupid stuff per hour than most talking heads spout in the month. He´s most famously known for shouting "fair and balanced" anytime there´s a lull in the conversation. I actually think they´ve implanted a little Skinner device in his rear-end and Murdock gets a ...
July 08, 2008
It´s the silent softener.
The disease that weakens not only the backbone, but preys upon the very resolve of men and women who once had both.
It´s a tragedy unfolding everyday in America, but unlike most disorders, it doesn´t infect the poor and disenfranchised, but it´...
July 01, 2008
Lindsey Graham is stumping for McCain - man are the Republicans desperate.
June 24, 2008
Look, I´m the first to admit I tend to play the Apocalypse card now and then, but you have to admit, the End of Days is always good for laugh. There´s Cheney as Satan – or a close personal advisor. There´s a crackerjack conflict going on in the Middle East where the Endtimes are su...
May 13, 2008
Barack and Hillary a "Dream Team" - maybe on Elm Street
May 06, 2008
For Bush the past was definitely prelude.
April 29, 2008
How the Hillaries keep coming back...yeah, I said Hillaries...
April 15, 2008
A few days ago a I wrote a piece about Professor Julio Rodriguez taking his American Culture class from Randolph College in Virginia to, among other places, a brothel in Nevada. The story went national, and in addition to the requisite outrage from the small and simple minded – Fox news leading the ...
April 15, 2008
Things get weird on the campaign trail when a rich white woman calls a black man an elitist.
April 01, 2008
I realize all you folks who bought caves in the middle of nowhere and truckloads of freeze dried mac & cheese back in 1999 were a little disappointed when the world didn´t fall apart as the millennium turned. It´s probably why most of you potential cave-dwellers voted Bush/Cheney – just ...
February 26, 2008
With all the excitement of the campaign, we sometimes forget President Trainwreck is still in the White House.
February 12, 2008
Look, on the Convention floor. It´s a Senator! It´s a Governor! It´s Superdelegate!
February 05, 2008
Bad behavior from presidents to pop-stars is barely noticed anymore.
January 22, 2008
Forget politics this week, let's talk about the evil forces working in golf.
January 17, 2008
Baby Boomers are a bust as president.
January 09, 2008
Mr. Bush, we owe you our gratitude.
I never thought I’d say that. Sure you’ve been great fodder for columns and cartoons and sketch comedy, but every president has supplied pundits and writers with that, and while you may have given the people a few more laughs than the previous execs, you’ve gi...
December 31, 2007
Our long national nightmare is over. Yeah, I stole that from Gerry Ford’s touching farewell to Dick Nixon (who seems warm and fuzzy compared to the current Dick roaming the White House halls), but you get the idea—IT’S A BRAND NEW YEAR.
We get a clean slate.
We have an open horizon before us.
...
December 19, 2007
*(Attn. Seuss Attorneys: this is not your Grinch, it’s some other guy)
Every Blue Down in Blue-villeLiked Freedom a lot…
But the Grinch, Who lived up the hill from Blue-ville, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated Freedom! The whole Freedom thing! If he’d written the song, he’d let “Halliburton ri...
December 12, 2007
While a few die-hard ostriches (the new symbol of the Republican Party) mumble with mouths full of sand how well things are going, the rest of the nation knows we’ve lost quite a bit since George W. Bush lost the presidential election in 2000.
We’ve lost lives.
We’ve lost allies.
We’ve los...
December 04, 2007
History will look back on this administration and realize the 43rd President of the United States was quite a rube, a sucker. We will all consider the nation lucky that no carnival set up its tent on the South Lawn. I can just see the President draining the nation’s coiffures…right, he already did t...
November 28, 2007
I realize we live in complicated times and the old black & white world—or red, white & blue vs. commie red—is long gone, but I miss those anything but halcyon days. We didn’t have satellite TV and surveillance was a plain old bug in a phone, but at least you knew where you stood.
I never thought...
November 13, 2007
Sorry about the overt sexism in telling you to get some backbone U.S.A.—I guess after Hillary is elected we won’t have that sexism problem anymore…we’ll just have a bunch of other problems.
And it’s all your fault, America, because you keep electing the problems.
We’re still over a year away f...
November 06, 2007
The Stephen Colbert presidential juggernaut has crashed and burned. South Carolina—his birthplace, my adopted state, and the only state in the nation where he chose to run—recently put a thick brick wall in front of him.
It wasn’t the state itself, but the respective political parties of the stat...
October 30, 2007
In the midst of the recent tragedy of the California fires, F.E.M.A., who did most things right this time, found a way to shoot itself in the foot once again. While the wildfires still raged in San Diego, F.E.M.A. held a press conference in D.C. Unfortunately, they arranged it at the last minute and...
October 23, 2007
There’s lots of buzz words on the campaign trail this year: terrorism, taxes, health care, competence, (competence is new for this election; we obviously didn’t care about it in 2000 and 2004). But the word getting all the attention lately is: values.
Recently, Republican Presidential Candidates ...
October 16, 2007
Last week, in an effort to restore some of the crumbling public support of the United States Congress, the House Foreign Affairs Committee, in a bi-partisan effort, stepped forward and delivered the kind of legislative bravery not seen since Nobunaga deposed the Shogunate and centralized Japanese go...
October 09, 2007
Back in the old days, way back before all these annoying laws about individual rights and international treaties and some bizarre notion of universal equality, there were a group of guys who were sent east to take care of business.
They were the Knights Templar; ass-kickin’ monks, European bad bo...
October 02, 2007
Rock ‘n Roll never dies—it just gets old; but that has never stopped aging rockers from hitting the road again and trying to recapture past glory, or trying to convince audiences they weren’t third rate and they deserve the praise lavished on other bands.
George W and the Deciders, a little garag...
September 25, 2007
TO: REPUBLICANS ONLY
FROM: THE BRAIN
RE: THE FUTURE OF THE PARTY…and America, for what it’s worth
DATE: 8/2007
By the time you read this, I’ll be gone. You know me, never wanted the limelight, no big farewell party, just slip out the back door with a suitcase full of stock options, sweetheart...
September 18, 2007
The liberal media is at it again. This time they’ve trotted out the former Chairman of the Federal Reserve, and self-proclaimed libertarian Republican (and John Kerry got the Silver Star, wink, wink), Alan Greenspan, to pile it on the Republicans, and bash George W. Bush, who, if they’d read their o...
September 12, 2007
During the weeks that led up General David Petraeus’ Surge Report he kept a diary. We’ve recently secured a copy of these writings from an inside source at the White House. What appear today are exclusive excerpts from his diary made during the week before his appearance on the Hill. (In the spirit ...
September 01, 2007
Wanted: Attorney General
This position will not make you a General or much of an Attorney. Previous experience unnecessary; on the job training in memory loss and incompetence will be given to the successful candidate. LSAT scores and alma mater are irrelevant (although graduates of Regent Univers...
August 26, 2007
In about a month the nation will receive the Petraeus Report on troop surge progress. (Well, it used to be the Petraeus Report, now it’s the Petraeus/White House Report, in two weeks it’ll be the White House Report and the day is comes out it will be called “Iraq; the Gospel According to Dick.” I he...
August 24, 2007
So Putin plants a Russian flag on the sea bottom of the North Pole, laying claim to vast supplies of icy oil and…wait for it…the Cold War is back? Maybe, except Putin isn’t a Communist aggressor, he’s a venture capitalist—with the emphasis on venture. (Hell, he’s probably already cut a deal with Che...
August 14, 2007
The biggest rat of all has deserted the sinking ship. No, it’s not the Vice President, pure evil usually takes the shape of a bat or a wolf, and the big horned goat is very popular in certain regions…but not a rat. Rats are dirty little creatures that carry disease and occasionally manage to lug abo...
August 11, 2007
The President and Vice President, in their efforts to fight global Islamo fascism, (which, until recently wasn’t even a word, so other words that mean nothing, take heart), need all the tools they can get.
F.I.S.A (Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act) allows our glorious leaders to listen into ...
August 03, 2007
Since we only have two parties—which, given the current state of things is either far too few or two too many—I spend no small amount of time trying figure them out.
Republicans are easy; they’re evil, soulless zombies who, even when they disagree with their brethren undead, still vote in unison...
July 28, 2007
You might recall back when the President was screwing things up during his first term he was asked if he ever went to his father for advice.
He replied "There is a higher Father that I appeal to."
Everyone assumed they knew what he meant, and his handlers weren’t about to tell the base that th...
July 26, 2007
This is how I know the Apocalypse is right around the corner, and any day now one of the Four Horsemen is going to knock on my door and tell me I’m in his parking place: there are floods in England, volcanic eruptions in Hawaii, Dick Cheney served as President for two and a half hours last Saturday ...