Attention: Susan Boyle's Getting It; Somali Pirates Want It; Mel Gibson Needed It!
Alice Aspen March
April 20, 2009
Everyone wants attention. Everyone needs attention. There is much documented research which shows that attention is a primary need for all of us, everywhere, forever. There´s scientific data proving this that has been collected for almost a hundred years, and, perhaps, even before. Harry Harlow demonstrated it with his work on monkeys. Ed Tronick, Chief of the Child Development Unit at Children´s Hospital, Boston, showed it with his work on infants. There is evidence written about prisoners in Japanese internments camps during World War II. There is a clear history of the impact of early attention deprivation in the historical knowledge of orphanages and in the recent discoveries made in Romania with the 40,000 orphans left behind by the Communist Dictator Nicholae Ceausescu´s regime. The basic fact is that food, shelter, clothing are just not enough to make us whole, to stimulate our growth, development and sanity.
Basically, however, we all need to feel safe, listened to, heard, visible, connected and respected. Attention comes in many forms and varieties, and we all need our own special kind. Susan Boyle is now getting the kind of attention that she´s wanted since childhood. She shares that she was a bullied child, as she cried a lot and appeared depressed. I wonder why? What happened in her childhood home? She has now demonstrated her gift of a magnificent voice which has taken our world by storm. Opportunities are flooding in which can give her the opportunities and attention she wants to be a world class singer like Elaine Paige. She must decide now, along with some collaborative sound advice, exactly what kind of attention she wants to accomplish her goals. People around her have already decided that she doesn´t need a "make-over." She´s almost forty-eight years old, so she wisely knows she does not have to look thin and young. She´s been waiting a very long time to be discovered, to get the kind of attention she needs. She´s finally gotten her chance, her dream. How wonderful!
The world-wide media has been widely covering the kidnapping of merchant seamen from many countries by the Somali pirates, including the successful recovery of our own Captain Richard Phillips. There seems to be a back story to the growing threat of safety on the high seas. Historically, these African coastal people have been fishermen. In recent years, major European industries been dumping their toxic wastes in the ocean, destroying their fishing grounds, and the fishing areas which were still viable have been taken over by large fishing vessels. The Somalis have reported that these large foreign-owned vessels have been harassing and intimidating them, have taken the fish from their nets and stopped them from even fishing, destroying their livelihoods. There have even been claims that foreign navies have fired first on the Somali fishing boats, treating them like pirates. Somalia warlords have now become involved to raise money and procure fighting equipment for their on-going internal struggles. Often the actual pirates appear to be untrained kids in their teens, armed with heavy weapons.
Somali fishermen are living such desperate lives that their violent behavior is their last resort. I wonder how much publicity has been given to these facts. How else are they going to get the world´s attention? Yes, they´ve become violent criminals, who unfortunately appear to know no other way to survive. Yes, they are creating an escalating danger to world-wide shipping. It´s said that desperate times create desperate acts. This has now become a significant world problem. As Arthur Miller, the highly regarded playwright, wrote "Attention must be paid!" Well, they´ve gotten the world´s attention. Now, what?
Mel Gibson´s also been in the news lately. He´s been a famous movie star and has directed mega movies for a very long time. He´s been married for 28 years, has 7 children, is enormously wealthy, practices his religious life vigorously and is an alcoholic. It is public knowledge that he´s been arrested and booked for drunk driving, while uttering hateful bigoted remarks. Here´s someone who seems to have what everyone wants: lots of money, a successful career, a big house or two. He´s currently getting divorced, as his wife has been quoted as saying, "I can´t take it anymore." What kind of attention does this man need? What happened in his childhood to create a person who, no matter how much he owns and how long he´s been married, has to act out for even more attention, who apparently has to hide his pain by drinking and dating.
It´ time we pay more attention to the root causes of peoples´ behavior. Why do people act out for attention, even when they seem to get so much? The kind we get in childhood stays with us forever. I now believe that the kind of attention our parents got in their childhoods stays with us forever. Very often, our adult careers stem from someone in our childhoods who role modeled their special talents for us, who supported our own creativity, our own needs, which made us feel safe, wanted and ok. Let´s simply pay much more attention to parenting, giving our kids the respect, support and opportunities to thrive that they deserve!
Basically, however, we all need to feel safe, listened to, heard, visible, connected and respected. Attention comes in many forms and varieties, and we all need our own special kind. Susan Boyle is now getting the kind of attention that she´s wanted since childhood. She shares that she was a bullied child, as she cried a lot and appeared depressed. I wonder why? What happened in her childhood home? She has now demonstrated her gift of a magnificent voice which has taken our world by storm. Opportunities are flooding in which can give her the opportunities and attention she wants to be a world class singer like Elaine Paige. She must decide now, along with some collaborative sound advice, exactly what kind of attention she wants to accomplish her goals. People around her have already decided that she doesn´t need a "make-over." She´s almost forty-eight years old, so she wisely knows she does not have to look thin and young. She´s been waiting a very long time to be discovered, to get the kind of attention she needs. She´s finally gotten her chance, her dream. How wonderful!
The world-wide media has been widely covering the kidnapping of merchant seamen from many countries by the Somali pirates, including the successful recovery of our own Captain Richard Phillips. There seems to be a back story to the growing threat of safety on the high seas. Historically, these African coastal people have been fishermen. In recent years, major European industries been dumping their toxic wastes in the ocean, destroying their fishing grounds, and the fishing areas which were still viable have been taken over by large fishing vessels. The Somalis have reported that these large foreign-owned vessels have been harassing and intimidating them, have taken the fish from their nets and stopped them from even fishing, destroying their livelihoods. There have even been claims that foreign navies have fired first on the Somali fishing boats, treating them like pirates. Somalia warlords have now become involved to raise money and procure fighting equipment for their on-going internal struggles. Often the actual pirates appear to be untrained kids in their teens, armed with heavy weapons.
Somali fishermen are living such desperate lives that their violent behavior is their last resort. I wonder how much publicity has been given to these facts. How else are they going to get the world´s attention? Yes, they´ve become violent criminals, who unfortunately appear to know no other way to survive. Yes, they are creating an escalating danger to world-wide shipping. It´s said that desperate times create desperate acts. This has now become a significant world problem. As Arthur Miller, the highly regarded playwright, wrote "Attention must be paid!" Well, they´ve gotten the world´s attention. Now, what?
Mel Gibson´s also been in the news lately. He´s been a famous movie star and has directed mega movies for a very long time. He´s been married for 28 years, has 7 children, is enormously wealthy, practices his religious life vigorously and is an alcoholic. It is public knowledge that he´s been arrested and booked for drunk driving, while uttering hateful bigoted remarks. Here´s someone who seems to have what everyone wants: lots of money, a successful career, a big house or two. He´s currently getting divorced, as his wife has been quoted as saying, "I can´t take it anymore." What kind of attention does this man need? What happened in his childhood to create a person who, no matter how much he owns and how long he´s been married, has to act out for even more attention, who apparently has to hide his pain by drinking and dating.
It´ time we pay more attention to the root causes of peoples´ behavior. Why do people act out for attention, even when they seem to get so much? The kind we get in childhood stays with us forever. I now believe that the kind of attention our parents got in their childhoods stays with us forever. Very often, our adult careers stem from someone in our childhoods who role modeled their special talents for us, who supported our own creativity, our own needs, which made us feel safe, wanted and ok. Let´s simply pay much more attention to parenting, giving our kids the respect, support and opportunities to thrive that they deserve!
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