Now I'm Hoping the Change Will Change
Robert Owens
March 16, 2009
Long, long ago and far, far away before the Red Dawn, before the November Revolution. Before the Straight Talk Express careened into a ditch when Ralph Kramden suspended his campaign heroically flying to Washington proclaiming, "Hemina, Hemina, Hemina, Me Too" which translated into "That´s All Folks." Before we realized without a teleprompter, the greatest orator of the age has more ahs, uhs, and wells than a freshman Senator. Before "How´s your 401K doing?" became a cruel joke I wondered, "What does he mean by Change?" I knew he was promising plenty of it. I knew everyone believed in it. I even knew it somehow seemed to make large crowds of people hopeful but I couldn´t quite grasp what he meant by it.
Finally, Toto has pulled back the curtain and though many of my fellow Americans still say the Emperor has a fine new set of clothes I believe I´m getting my mind wrapped around what change means in Newspeak.
Transparency means opaque. There will be no lobbyists in my administration means unless they have a waiver. No more earmarks means thousands of earmarks. A New Era of Responsibility means it´s always George´s fault. Bringing all the troops home in 16 months means sending half the troops to Afghanistan in 19 months and leaving the other half in Iraq as noncombatants for at least a decade. Another New Era, this one of Honesty and Accountability means appointing a tax cheat to run the IRS. Ending the Era of Greed and Irresponsibility means Barney Frank and Chris Dodd in charge of the Banking System, Maxine Waters bailing out her husband´s bank and Air Pelosi. Stimulus is another way to spell pork. A tax cut for 95% of Americans means ending the Bush tax cuts, which is a tax increase for everyone. Saving the Environment from the global warming currently freezing people to death across the Northern Hemisphere means a pass-along cap-n-trade tax which could raise the cost of gasoline by more than a dollar a gallon and the cost of electricity by 60%. Ready from day one means difficulty in pronouncing foreign names, translation gaffs on sophomoric props and thinking American Democracy is the oldest in the world (don´t tell Athens, Rome, the Iroquois or the British). Unequivocal support for Israel looks like throwing Israel under the bus.
As America morphs into an Alinsky-Ayres-Obama version of France it feels apropos to observe, the more things change the more they stay the same. This kind of non-change change becomes tedious after a while. The new and exciting is fast becoming the same old same old. Lately I´ve begun hoping all this collectivist change will change before all we have left is spare change.
Where´s that miss-labeled Reset Button? We need to reset the process before the system crashes. The current head of the UN obviously believes that we are now politically-correct enough to take a tongue lashing about being deadbeats when we pay his rent, 25% of his budget and continue to endure the gaggle of terrorists and despots that passes for a General Assembly. While China who is bankrolling our descent into insolvency are looking at the economic finesse of the new team and decided it´s time to get some collateral, maybe a national park, a pound of flesh or our first born. The system is broke. The pipes are all clogged up. Where´s Joe the Plumber when you need him?
When our born-to-the-purple George II decided to sacrifice free market principles to save the economy from "collapse" the train left the station. If the fall of capitalism begins at the house of the capitalists, what will be the end the collectivists?
Who could have guessed that election slogans and party propaganda would turn out to be election slogans and party propaganda? Who could have seen this coming? In an America which has apparently decided anything worth saying should fit into a sound bite the words of the prophets have moved from the tenement walls to bumper stickers. The newest bumper stickers "Wave if You´ll Pay for My Kids College" and "Honk if You´ll Pay My Mortgage" have already been joined by "Honk Twice if You´ll Pick Up My Second." How long before we see the soon to be numerous, "Don´t Blame Me. I voted for the Some Other Guy"?
What about Hope? The Hope we were promised changed into "The Sky is Falling! The Sky is Falling!!" Who could have guessed hope would come from a formerly drunk rodeo clown looking more like the Pillsbury Dough Boy than Patrick Henry. Who could know that even though the Mainstream Media is doing its best to ignore the rising tide of protest we aren´t alone. Instead, We Surround Them.
Finally, Toto has pulled back the curtain and though many of my fellow Americans still say the Emperor has a fine new set of clothes I believe I´m getting my mind wrapped around what change means in Newspeak.
Transparency means opaque. There will be no lobbyists in my administration means unless they have a waiver. No more earmarks means thousands of earmarks. A New Era of Responsibility means it´s always George´s fault. Bringing all the troops home in 16 months means sending half the troops to Afghanistan in 19 months and leaving the other half in Iraq as noncombatants for at least a decade. Another New Era, this one of Honesty and Accountability means appointing a tax cheat to run the IRS. Ending the Era of Greed and Irresponsibility means Barney Frank and Chris Dodd in charge of the Banking System, Maxine Waters bailing out her husband´s bank and Air Pelosi. Stimulus is another way to spell pork. A tax cut for 95% of Americans means ending the Bush tax cuts, which is a tax increase for everyone. Saving the Environment from the global warming currently freezing people to death across the Northern Hemisphere means a pass-along cap-n-trade tax which could raise the cost of gasoline by more than a dollar a gallon and the cost of electricity by 60%. Ready from day one means difficulty in pronouncing foreign names, translation gaffs on sophomoric props and thinking American Democracy is the oldest in the world (don´t tell Athens, Rome, the Iroquois or the British). Unequivocal support for Israel looks like throwing Israel under the bus.
As America morphs into an Alinsky-Ayres-Obama version of France it feels apropos to observe, the more things change the more they stay the same. This kind of non-change change becomes tedious after a while. The new and exciting is fast becoming the same old same old. Lately I´ve begun hoping all this collectivist change will change before all we have left is spare change.
Where´s that miss-labeled Reset Button? We need to reset the process before the system crashes. The current head of the UN obviously believes that we are now politically-correct enough to take a tongue lashing about being deadbeats when we pay his rent, 25% of his budget and continue to endure the gaggle of terrorists and despots that passes for a General Assembly. While China who is bankrolling our descent into insolvency are looking at the economic finesse of the new team and decided it´s time to get some collateral, maybe a national park, a pound of flesh or our first born. The system is broke. The pipes are all clogged up. Where´s Joe the Plumber when you need him?
When our born-to-the-purple George II decided to sacrifice free market principles to save the economy from "collapse" the train left the station. If the fall of capitalism begins at the house of the capitalists, what will be the end the collectivists?
Who could have guessed that election slogans and party propaganda would turn out to be election slogans and party propaganda? Who could have seen this coming? In an America which has apparently decided anything worth saying should fit into a sound bite the words of the prophets have moved from the tenement walls to bumper stickers. The newest bumper stickers "Wave if You´ll Pay for My Kids College" and "Honk if You´ll Pay My Mortgage" have already been joined by "Honk Twice if You´ll Pick Up My Second." How long before we see the soon to be numerous, "Don´t Blame Me. I voted for the Some Other Guy"?
What about Hope? The Hope we were promised changed into "The Sky is Falling! The Sky is Falling!!" Who could have guessed hope would come from a formerly drunk rodeo clown looking more like the Pillsbury Dough Boy than Patrick Henry. Who could know that even though the Mainstream Media is doing its best to ignore the rising tide of protest we aren´t alone. Instead, We Surround Them.
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