What Would Lassie Think

This morning when I was getting dressed I suddenly realized that I've experienced a lot of personal growth this summer. The kind of personal growth that causes you to go up another dress size. It simply amazes me that it took two years for me to lose 65 pounds and it only took a couple of cheeseburgers to gain nearly half the weight back. And I gain it all in the worst places, like around my waistline and my second chin. If I keep gaining I'll soon have more chins than a Chinese census report.

And sadly enough they only make clothes for physically fit and perfectly proportioned bodies these days. The ladies' shirts and blouses are curved in at the waistline. What are people like me who are shaped like a mushroom supposed to wear? I tried on one of these blouses and I swear I looked like a big muffin with legs, arms, and a head. I think I need to have some body work done. And maybe a face lift thrown in to make it all fit together.

Speaking of bodywork and plastic surgery, did you know that dogs can now have plastic surgery? According to a news article I read in a Seattle newspaper, written by Mei-Ling Hopgood of Cox News Service, a Veterinarian Edgado Brito who lives in Brazil has been performing plastic surgery on pets for some time now. Surgery like tightening up the jaw line, enhancing the eyelashes with botox injections, straightening bent or protruding ears, and all types of procedures that basically beautify the pet. According to the article, "Brito says animal health is his top concern, but beauty also is important to the animal´s well-being. Brito said that if the owner thinks the dog is attractive, the relationship is better."

Now as a dog lover myself I feel that our dogs deserve the very best treatment we can give them, but I am going to go out on a limb here and say that most dogs don't care what they look like. I don't think they worry too much about wrinkles and a sagging jawline. At least I've never seen Shadow stand before a mirror and cry. Neither has Sheeba and she's a girl dog.

And not only can dogs have their faces lifted, their tummies tucked and their eyelids paralysed with poison botox injections, they can even get braces to straighten their teeth and give them that lovely Colgate smile that all dogs obviously long for. If you search the Internet for Veterinary Dentistry, you'll find hundreds of websites that offer lists of Pet Orthodontists and lists of products to freshen your dog's breath and make their teeth whiter.

But the biggest shocker of all was a website I found that sells designer clothing for dogs. It's billed as "A Designer Dog Boutique for the Cosmopolitan Canine" and it sells doggie T-shirts, doggie dresses, dogie hats and even dogie coats. Well duh! Doesn't a dog come with a coat already? Mine did. Anyway the latest fashion trend is the reversible doggie fur coat. (I'm hoping here that the coat is made out of some kind of synthetic fur and not real animal fur like...maybe cat fur. Wouldn't the poor dog chase itself until it fell over if you put something like that on him? ) Incidentally the little pink denim doggie dress sells for a mere $45.00 and the reversible fur coat sells for around $65.00.

People what is wrong with this picture! When did we start humiliating our dogs this way by dressing them in people clothes that make them look ridiculous and cost more than the amount to clothe a child for an entire school year; buying braces for their teeth and having their faces and bodies remodeled. Has the world gone crazy?

Wait, don't answer that.

I'm just happy that the original Lassie and Rin Tin Tin aren't around to see this.