Fuels Of The Future
In a comprehensive, study of my own I have developed some initial findings on fuels that might be more accessible than those mentioned above. One, for instance, is human flatulence. I have developed a mobile flatulent gathering tank, which can be strapped to the consumers' back, pressurized, and injected into a flatulent-burning engine. This odorous idea came to me the morning after an all-night party at a friend?s home on New Year?s Eve. Not only is flatulence plentiful it is quite clean burning. I know that from experience. I watched two guys in Army basic training lighting one another?s flatulence with Zippo lighters. My observation produced one drawback, the fellow from Minnesota had to be taken to the emergency room with second-degree burns on his bum.
The second fuel I have been studying is political hot air. Thus far, I have produced two prototype moped-like vehicles; one is propelled by Democratic hot air, and the other Republican hot air. My observation has substantiated my initial supposition that Republican hot air propels the moped much faster than the Democratic powered machine. The cause for this is uncertain, but may be contributed to Gallup polls.
My final experimental fuel was created from old Treasury notes. This experiment failed because of two reasons: 1. Treasury notes are not clean burning. 2. These notes have so much pork attached to them they tend to burn too quickly; hence, inconsistency in determining their efficiency. I decided to can this experiment and send it off to Haliburton for more detailed study (that was Mr. Cheney?s idea).
Feel free to send me ideas on other alternative fuels that you would like to see used to help our country remain green.
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