Bereaved Rights: Teresa Evans Fights for Change While Encouraging Awareness of Independent Funeral Choice and Funeral Options
Pam Vetter
February 17, 2009
Her son, Boyd Evans, died alone in a hospital 110 miles away from home in December 2006 as the result of injuries he sustained in a vehicle collision. He was a passenger and died of a ruptured aorta.
For many weeks, Teresa waited anxiously for the appointed police liaison officer to return what Boyd had been wearing at the time of the collision. When she began an enquiry long after the funeral, no one knew the whereabouts of his clothing. Starting with the hospital, a staff member claimed Boyd's clothing had been disposed of. But, that was not the case. Eventually, the trail of questioning and paperwork led back to the funeral home as the clothing had been placed in a bin liner and signed for by the undertaker. That is when the undertaker admitted he made the choice to bury Boyd's clothing beneath his body in his coffin because it was "heavily bloodstained." Teresa still doesn't know what other belongings were in the bag. But, imagine being a grieving mother who is told her son was buried while lying on top of a bag of bloody clothes.
"It's very difficult and still is," Teresa explained. "I recall the events daily from waking up until going to sleep. It is a violation and act of indignity to my son's body and his memory. I wanted to go to the shop (this is what I call it now, I refuse to call these premises funeral homes/parlours) and physically assault this guy. Had it not been for the respect that I had for any other people that may lie in there I think that I would have done. For many months, I felt out of control and wanted to go to the cemetery with a shovel and dig up Boyd's coffin myself."
Caught in a world of the confusion and heartbreak, Teresa has not had her son's body exhumed. What exactly she would find if he is exhumed remains unknown.
"Having later perused the pathologist report of the autopsy conducted on Boyd, I have reservations that Boyd's clothing was heavily bloodstained, but the element of doubt has been placed in my thoughts by the funeral undertaker. I was not present when Boyd passed away, and the staff at the hospital lied to me about the belongings, so I feel it necessary to have to rely on what the undertaker has told me about the condition of the property, what they were contained in and where he placed them. I consider that he may have thrown them away. It's the not knowing for certain, that adds weight to my pain. I have still not made a decision to apply for a license to exhume Boyd's coffin. That said, I am not certain that I would gain one. If I was to exhume and the items were there and removed, I would not consider this a remedy as I would have disturbed Boyd's final resting place. If I were to exhume and determine that they were not there, and that the undertaker had lied to defend any possibility that he may have been arrested for throwing them away (as this was a possibility) I cannot comprehend how I may cope with my feelings or what I might do, as a result of disturbing Boyd's grave and the torment that I have had to live with these past two years. I have approached a leading forensic geophysicist to make enquiry if there were some probe device that could be placed in the ground to determine shape. Sadly there isn't. I reserve the decision about exhumation at this current time. Either way my family and I will be the losers and my son subjected to a further indignity."
From her experiences alone, Teresa knows that everyone needs to be aware of bereaved rights. As everyone serves as a potential funeral consumer, Teresa publishes informative leaflets for consumers. While the government does publish some advice about practical arrangements, it's still not enough as many people are not aware that it exists until faced with bereavement. Then, many people are unaware that they become consumers. Most people are also unaware that families are not required to use a funeral director or an undertaker in the UK. In fact, they can care for the body themselves.
"The only lawful requirement is that the body is buried or cremated," Teresa reminds. "For those who have had the sad experience of making funeral arrangements, I would hope that for many there is satisfaction, but I would ask you to consider that there are also many that have had a bad funeral experience. I am a normal member of the public who has experienced five sudden deaths of immediate family members, the last and recent, being that of my youngest son, Boyd, who died in tragic circumstance in 2006. The series of events that followed not only shocked me then, but have affected my life since. This has resulted in my campaigning to convince core officials that are responsible for creating policies for education, that knowledge of ones legal rights to what one may do after a death, is as valuable as the education and knowledge of other domestic related issues, that have changed for the better of society in general. I have been reliably informed that my bad funeral experience is not an isolated incident and that many people have suffered because of the 'assumptions' that are made by officials and non-officials,that assume everyone understands their options before making decisions when someone dies.
1. Whether the deceased has died from natural cause or as a result of critical incident, you have every legal right to care for the deceased at home
2. If an autopsy/post-mortem is required, ask the Coroner if there is an alternative scanning (MRI) facility available to determine cause of death. I have been given to understand that this maybe possible in some instances and in some districts of the UK
3. You may collect the deceased from a mortuary/hospital in your own suitable vehicle. If a coroner is involved, you may collect after the body is released
4. The deceased personal property becomes the property of the next of kin, unless a Will states otherwise. This extends beyond items considered to be of monetary value i.e. Jewellery etc.
5. Be aware that you do not have to be environmentally friendly as the 'green' term suggests, or be removed from God to make alternative arrangements
6. There is no legal requirement in law, to use undertakers. The certificate of burial/cremation 'green' form, is for whoever is responsible for burial/cremation
7. When making arrangements & purchasing goods and services, you have statutory protection with the new Consumer Regulations 2008, Sale of Goods Act 1979, the Supply of Goods and Services Act 1982 and Trade Descriptions Act 1968
8. There is no current licensing requirement to practice and set up 'shop' in the funeral industry
9. There is no independent official body overseeing the practice of the funeral industry
10. The funeral trade operates by voluntary codes of practice and principles and police themselves
11. You should be given a contract of requirements from your appointed funeral undertaker when making arrangements for a funeral. If not, prepare your own and ensure you are specific to your own requirements
12. You should be given a copy of the business terms and conditions at the outset of confirming an appointment thus forming a contract
While people rarely file complaints about funerals gone wrong in the United States, Teresa believes the story is different in the UK.
"I am inclined to believe that many complaints are hushed up. There is another concern that people do not necessarily see themselves as consumers and make a complaint via an official department where they complain about other goods and services. There is, of course, some that I imagine believe that it would be disrespectful to the deceased and don't complain or just simply remain resentful that a situation is not remedial because death is so final. The National Association of Funeral Directors here in the UK and the other known trade association SAIF have what is considered to be their own conciliation/arbitration services. They police themselves, so they are able to keep the complaint confined and not made public. I imagine that anyone pursuing a claim via this process would be encouraged to sign a confidentiality clause and probably many do."
For the funeral industry to improve, Teresa believes it will take education for consumers who should stand up for their rights.
"Only education that can change the misconceptions that have been created by the undertaker. (I refuse to call them Directors, as I believe that it is the bereaved that direct the arrangements). Language is a powerful tool for determining how people view and then interact in the world, and equally powerful in unknown territory of an environment that is unknown to many, as is bereavement. With many misconceptions about what happens after a death, I imagine that many people would be frightened to care for the deceased at home and conduct a home funeral and I firmly believe that education about caring for our own at death, should be as important as caring for baby at birth. Whilst there is much published information available to the bereaved here in the UK, it is very focused on the grief. What is available about the options when arranging a funeral is unknown by many of the general public and its content being more obvious to people working in a funeral/bereavement environment. The information may only become obvious, if there has been a problem with the arrangements as was my own experience."
When Teresa recently asked the local cemetery and cremation manager if she advised people about their options, she commented that "she did if they asked." Teresa said that reaches the heart of the problem. There is an absolute lack of education.
"My reply was, 'why would many ask, if they don't believe that they have any options in the first place?' This attitude is the attitude of many. She has conceded that I speak sense, and will subsequently change a web page on the official site. I have reservations that anyone suffering a critical incident will search websites for information. This, of course, includes my own, but if guidance is going to be published for the public, it should be sought from a lawful source, and not from any influence of a commercial one. I imagine that everyone around the world has to register a death, and I feel that it could be the Registrars themselves that play a major role in educating the bereaved. Registrars here in the UK, as do many of the publicly funded authorities, make 'assumptions' that people know their options, and hand the bereaved the certificate of burial/cremation and tell them to hand to their appointed funeral undertaker, assuming that all people would wish to use one. Assumptions should never be made and if they were to adopt a more humanitarian approach, in coupling verbal guidance with a published, definitive guide to care for the deceased at home and make ones own funeral arrangements, I feel that this could go a long way to educating the bereaved before they make decisions about who will care for the deceased and arrange the funeral. Hopefully, this approach could in turn, remove some of the power from the industry."
Teresa has gained some ground in attaining change.
"UK government have created a portal of information in the form of a website that is considered to be the official government website for citizens, and carries a weight of information about all public matters. One area is focused on what to do after a death and arrangements for a funeral. I have recently managed to get the team to amend certain material that not only could be considered to be offensive to the bereaved that have already had a funeral, but that was suggestive and carried a bias attitude. Example: I had determined, that for some time, the authorities have published that 'one must use a professional funeral director for the deceased to be buried with dignity and propriety.' This has now been removed from official hard copy publications and this particular website. They also published that if a member of the public wished to move a body out of England and Wales, to contact a professional funeral director for guidance…this now points the public to the Home Office, which is a public authority."
"There is still much that could be done," Teresa reinforced. "It is now my intention to campaign for a definitive guide of Last Offices when caring for the deceased at home and subsequent funeral arrangements. I acknowledge that there is a place in society for the undertaker, but it is their manipulation and control that I resent. My aim in fighting against the control is to remove or limit this control by continually campaigning and calling for public authorities to provide the public with a better duty of care. Bereavement is a public health matter, and therefore it should be considered by the authorities to be of a serious nature and to provide and ensure, that information about public rights is reaching the public. I am now exploring what if any, human right implications there maybe for not doing so. I consider that the ground you speak of, can only progress with knowledge of knowing better. I appreciate that this will not happen overnight."
After her son's death and what transpired, Teresa questions how many "professionals" truly care about the grieving family.
"I am cynical. I don't doubt that there are many that may have compassion and care for the deceased, but I perceive many in this industry to be far removed from emotion and become almost desensitised in their work. The pretence of some repulses me, especially, when they lie about the needs to embalm. Many are mindful of the health of their profits and some will do whatever necessary to ensure the growth of their business. Many will lie and deceive because in effect, they think they can, as they rely on few people challenging them and still paying their bills. In effect, people who have experienced a problem and don't complain 'enable' the bad guys. I have reservations about licensing. I see no benefit for the public to licence this trade. I believe that it gives the undertaker an air of control that they draw upon to manipulate both the public and public officials. I would most definitely say that regulations need tightening up. I publish what I do, not to gain ground for calling for licensing but, to let people know that the undertaker that they may appoint in many cases have no formal credentials/qualifications, apart from regular practice and knowledge about what they do. When I first learned that undertakers were not required to hold a licence, but a Cattery owner was, I was incensed as were others, some still are. To my knowledge here in the UK, there has never been a case precedence, of a person successfully suing a funeral undertaker for damages for personal injury or breach of contract. Personal injury has been the most difficult one to prove, as a person would need to prove that they had been caused psychological injury, set aside from the grief that they were already suffering. I am not familiar with legislation in the US but here in the UK a new piece of legislation was passed last year called the Consumer Protection Regulations 2008. This legislation has replaced an old Act called the Fraudulent Mediums Act 1951, whereby in this act the customer would have to prove they had been caused distress by the medium. With the new legislation, it will now be the trader that has to prove that they have not caused injury. Brilliant! I hope to encourage at least one firm of lawyers to advertise their services in such matters, as they do for every other injury and damage claims, in the hope that at some stage at least one person may set case precedence for others to follow. I am confident that this is when the floodgates will open. It is my view that, until people know that they have a voice, they will not complain."
If she had her time again, she would have done things differently. "I would have collected Boyd from the hospital in my own vehicle as the undertaker had delayed from the agreed date in collecting Boyd. I would have cared for him at home, and if unable to find an undertaker to meet the provision of vehicles for the funeral only, I would have arranged this myself."
While not a day goes by that Teresa doesn't think of her son's death and the way he has been buried, she believes her son would be proud of her work on behalf of others.
"Boyd was most definitely his mother's son and held a similar view of justice if an injustice were committed. We shared similar views in relation to spirituality and both believed in same soul many bodies, and that we have experienced many shared incarnations into this world. I hang on to my faith and belief, that this was Boyd's time to leave, but it in no way affords any other person, whether an official or otherwise, to have treated us with the disrespect that has been shown to us. Physically, I miss him with every fragment of my being and all that I have left of his physical self is where he lies in his grave and his belongings at home." Teresa added, "No one should ever experience torment brought about by others that could so easily be avoided. Boyd would be spurring me on to fight for change!"
For more information about Teresa Evans and her work visit http://www.evansaboveonline.co.uk
Pictured: Boyd Evans
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