Hamlett Holds Out Hope for the Romantically Impaired

Valentine´s Day has never really been my holiday. Never mind that I´ve spent most of my adult life in a wonderful and loving marriage; never mind all the romantic heroines I´ve played onstage; never mind my frou-frou girlie hobbies (Victorian ballroom dancing, anyone?). For me, February 14th has always seemed an alien, lace-encrusted day intended for less cynical hearts than mine.

I´m tempted to regard this antipathy toward Valentine´s Day as a mere holdover from my dress-shunning, punk-rocking adolescence. I suspect, though, that it goes far deeper. Somewhere in a remote corner of my soul is an elementary-school desk with a paper-bag valentine "mailbox" adorned with crayoned hearts Scotch-taped to its edge. There sits my inner eight-year-old in all her bookish misfit glory, cringing in anticipation of being shunned by the popular girls, ignored by the cool cute boys, and (perhaps worst of all) noticed by her counterparts, the hopelessly geeky boys.

Then again, I have come to embrace both my inner geek and her geek-mate. (My husband and I spend countless blissful hours together watching Japanese animation and Battlestar Galactica). Perhaps it´s time I put away my Valentine´s Day baggage, shook hands with Cupid, and moved on?

I decided to seek out an expert to help me overcome my February 14th phobia. Fortunately, I found the perfect guide right here in Pasadena: author Christina Hamlett. Hamlett´s extensive body of work includes several well-written and witty romance novels, in which love manages to transcend not only social class (Catch of the Day) but even time (The Enchanter, The Spellbox) and death (Heaven Only Knows). Her latest novel, the mother-daughter book club favorite Movie Girl, looks at love through the eyes of a high-school sophomore girl smitten with a captivating senior boy.

With her past experience as an actress and director and her ongoing work as a screenwriting consultant, writing instructor, and playwright, Hamlett understands how to make romance work on the page, the stage, or the screen. Yet she also knows how it works in real life—check out her funny, sweet, and true account of how she met and married the man of her dreams, Mark.

Certainly someone who knows so much about romance could show me what there was to love about Valentine´s Day. I asked Hamlett to share with me fourteen of her romantic favorites in honor of February 14th. I pass them along to you now—a valentine, if you will, from me to you:

1. Most romantic movie
"To me, what makes a movie romantic is the chemistry between the lead characters, a condition that was a lot more prevalent in older films such as Casablanca, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, Gone with the Wind, and The Quiet Man than we tend to see with actors today. I think that plots like Ghost, Shakespeare in Love and While You Were Sleeping are always fun to revisit on Valentine´s Day, and there are certainly some films where the most meaning is conveyed with just a single look—the smile that Jane Seymour gives Christopher Reeve during her portrait session in Somewhere in Time, the pause that precipitates Tom Selleck´s looking back at Laura San Giacomo in Quigley Down Under, the unabashed annoyance of Cher in Moonstruck when she tells Nicholas Cage to ´Snap out of it!´ If I were to pick just one movie, though, that best captures what it feels like to fall in love at virtually any age and under any circumstance, it would be Love, Actually."

2. Most romantic book
"The Spellbox is a time-travel romance in which two women on holiday get lost during a storm and end up being transported to the thirteenth-century Scottish Highlands. In the midst of trying to figure out how to return to their own time zone (as well as how to keep from being burned as witches), Lucy (the nicer of the two) meets the love of her life and is faced with the dilemma of how a brooding, kilt-wearing Scotsman who is unaccustomed to indoor plumbing could possibly fit into twentieth-century San Francisco if, indeed, he is even able to accompany her home. Not only is this book my favorite novel I´ve ever written, but it was also unfolding during my husband´s courtship and our subsequent plans to get married at Stirling Castle."

3. Most romantic song
"In keeping with the theme of February 14th romance, it would be ´Valentine´ sung by Olivia Newton-John and accompanied by Jim Brickman. It was the tune playing the day my love handed me his heart. Okay, it was actually a box of chocolate truffles from See´s but it was an indelible moment of promise that comes wafting back every time I hear the lyrics and realize how very lucky I am."

4. Most romantic historical figure
"Andrew Jackson."

5. Most romantic food
"Seafood (but not oysters; I think they´re slimy)."

6. Most romantic drink
"Champagne, which is neither a slave to the hour, the season, nor the occasion. Secondly would be Bombay Sapphire on the rocks with extra onions; when Mark joins me with a vodka martini, we assume the witty banter of Nick and Nora Charles and feel a compulsion to go out and solve a crime somewhere."

7. Most romantic destination in Pasadena
"Our own dining room table."

8. Most romantic city you've ever visited or inhabited
"I´ll take Manhattan."

9. Your ideal Valentine's Day
"A gourmet, candlelight meal with my hugsman, a fire in the fireplace, beautiful music playing in the background, and conversations about anything/everything/nothing that last for hours…which is actually how we have spent every evening at home ever since we first got together."

10. Your worst Valentine´s Day
"Hmmm, that would have to be my story about Dewey. Dewey was tall and good looking and, although I didn´t know it at the time, totally absorbed with himself. We had started dating just after New Year´s and—Valentine´s Day being the next significant occasion on the calendar—he asked me fairly early if I had any plans for the 14th. Things seemed to be going well enough that I assumed he was besotted and asking so far in advance because he had something spectacular in the works to really dazzle me. By the morning of the 14th, however, he had yet to drop any clues. In fact, it was noon on The Day and he hadn´t even called me. By 3:30, I was getting justifiably vexed. I called his office and left a voicemail asking him what the plan was. He didn´t call back. When I got home a few hours later, I discovered he had left the following message on my machine: ´Why don´t you come by around seven and we can hang out. Oh, and can you pick up a couple burgers or something on your way? I didn´t have time for lunch.´ Suffice it to say, I stayed home, poured a glass of champagne, nibbled on salami, cheese, and cashews and watched Frasier instead. Which one of us do you think had the better evening?"

11. The most romantic thing you've ever done for your man
"I always make handmade cards to tuck in Mark´s briefcase when he goes on a trip, I spoil him every chance I get, and I never forget to let him know that he´s my best friend. I also bought him a cappuccino maker."

12. The most romantic thing your man has ever done for you
"Aside from surprising me with a Captain Jack Sparrow pillow (which resulted in a squeal that affirmed he had indeed struck a chord with my inner fifteen-year-old), he´s the most loving and supportive partner I could ever ask for and always reads my latest scripts aloud with me at the dining room table. (Since we can both do accents and get quite absorbed in the roles we´re portraying, I´m pretty sure our neighbors think that at least seventeen other people are living here at any given time.)"

13. The funniest romantic moment you and he have ever shared
"When we were coming back from our honeymoon in Scotland, we got detained in Customs at SFO. Apparently Mark had the same name as a ´person of interest´ to Interpol. (I´m assuming that it was an international jewel thief, a James Bond-ish spy, or the head of a Swiss cartel that regulates the price of premium chocolate.) Anyway, after pawing through the contents of Yours Truly´s carry aboard instead of that of my beloved, I was informed that I could leave. ´Uh,´ I stammered, ´he´s actually my ride home.´ After another round of interrogations, they finally decided that he wasn´t who they were looking for. ´What was that about?´ I said as we made our way to the car. ´I´d tell you,´ he replied with a sly smile, ´but then I´d have to kill you.´"

14. The best way to keep romance alive in a relationship
"(1) Embrace the ordinariness. Anyone can seem exciting in an exotic locale but if you can dance in grocery store aisles and take delight in petting puppies and engage in deep discussions about an episode of Dr. Who, you have truly found your soul mate. (2) Always remember that whatever it was that first attracted you to a relationship is what needs to be sustained in order for it to endure. Why is it, do you think, that so many cheerleader and jock romances in high school fall apart as soon as each side starts to grow up? Why do captains of industry who are toppled from their thrones suddenly find themselves single? And why do people who genuinely like each other and who can spend an entire evening talking about anything/everything/nothing live to celebrate so many fabulous years of wedded bliss?"

Hearing Hamlett´s responses, I find myself feeling less romantically impaired. True, my musical tastes run more toward PJ Harvey than Olivia Newton John. Still, my man and I derive as much joy from each other´s company whether we´re having a multi-course gourmet meal and sake at our favorite upscale Japanese restaurant or snacks and chai at the Indian grocery. And haven´t he and I smiled mushily and reached for each other´s hands whenever Galactica´s Bill Adama and Laura Roslin have come a step closer to declaring their feelings for one another?

I think I´m actually looking forward to Valentine´s Day. There may be hope for me yet.