Valentine's Day: For the love of friends
Diana deRegnier
February 05, 2009
Each year, Valentines Day cards and decorations take over where Christmas leaves off. Magazine covers are slathered in pink and red hearts. Television ads hawk perfume, chocolates and jewels. Numerous sources, including "The Oxford Dictionary of Saints," Oxford University Press, 2004, http://www.oup.com/us/catalog/general/subject/ReligionTheology/HistoryofChristianity; The Catholic Forum http://www.catholic-forum.com/; StValentinesDay.org and a Hallmark greeting card I´ve saved since 1981 contend Valentines Day was inspired by the martyr Valentinus of Rome.
In third century AD, Claudius II despised Christians and believed that love of wife and family was deterring young men from enlisting in his army. He outlawed marriage in an attempt to eradicate the emotions for which he had no capacity.
In sympathy for young lovers who preferred marriage and family to war, Catholic priest Valentinus secretly performed the sacrament to unite couples. Thus, Claudius the Cruel had Valentinus thrown into prison for his dual offenses of being a Christian and an advocate for love.
During Valentinus' imprisonment, many, including children came to visit. Valentinus would teach and tell stories and sometimes heal the infirm. Followers often left flowers and other gifts below the window of the prison. Eventually, even the benevolent jailor brought his 13 year old blind daughter, Julia, to Valentinus for tutoring and council.
Valentinus read to Julia, taught her Roman history and convinced her to believe in God. Though weeks passed and Julia´s sight had not been bestowed, she never lost faith and continued to visit her friend and guide.
Infuriated by the prisoners continued popularity, Claudius had Valentinus beaten, but when the priest did not die of his wounds, on February 14, 279 AD, he was beheaded.
Julia´s father returned home that night with a note for his daughter from the martyr, scribbled to her in his last hour. Her mentor urged her to continue to have faith and signed it "From your Valentine." Upon receiving the note, Julia´s eyesight was instantly restored. Thus, in 496 Pope Gelasius I decreed February 14 Saint Valentine´s Day.
What I will do to celebrate St. Valentine's Day:
I contend, rather than a day even lovers can rarely live up to thanks to commercialism and hype, let's celebrate the qualities of joy, wisdom and encouragement shared between friends? In lieu of a time to spike the greeting card, diamond and flowers industries, let Valentine´s Day represent an honoring of who we are as loving individuals and friends.
In the current distorted observance of the day, few venture out to a movie alone because it has been deemed Lover´s Day and no one wants to look pathetic. (You're not pathetic, you're discerning, my super-ego screams.) Protocol forbids asking a friend to join the throng of couples at a restaurant for fear we will be mistakenly linked in romance. Nor should we pay an exorbitant price for a meal that we would be rushed through for the next feed, stuffed like a moose and left bloated and sleepless.
For now, the benefit of single-hood is that I celebrate Valentine´s Day any day I please and as many days as I desire. I will buy a frozen Chocolate Ganache Torte. Eaten a sliver at a time, the dark chocolate cake filled with chocolate mousse and glazed with semi-sweet chocolate ganache lasts ten days -- okay, 8 when the knife slips. Anyway, unless I invite an innocent, platonic, non-erotic friend to join me in a decadent dessert frenzy, I will enjoy it longer than those lovely, cliché, four-times-the-normal-price red roses will bloom.
Here´s my plan for getting through the I-hate-to-admit-it-but-I-wish-someone-would-buy-me-a pair-of-dangling-diamond-earrings day: I will dress in brown – for chocolate – rather than red. I will sip the German sparkling wine, NV Schloss Biebrich Sekt and dine on Trader Joe´s chez Diana with easy bake appetizers and entrée: Spinach Spanakopita; Crab Puffs; Crab-stuffed Salmon and, of course, Chocolate Ganache Torte.
A fond conversation with a sister, brother or friend will precede the feast and a long, warm, bubble bath will conclude the activities. Karen Drucker´s, "Spirit III," Gary Brian Topper´s, "Flying Eagle," and Gary Malkin´s, "Winterfaith" CDs will play throughout the day into evening – no Barbra Streisand or Celine Dion, and certainly no Barry White. Finally, before sleep overtakes me I will read another chapter of "The Wizard of Oz."
Now, that´s a happy Valentine´s Day!
Diana deRegnier writes from the San Francisco Bay Area, California emphasizing humor, compassion and encouragement for a vibrant spirit. Her articles appear in websites, blogs and print publications around the world. Diana's email: spiritlinks@comcast.net. © copyright 2009 by Diana deRegnier
In third century AD, Claudius II despised Christians and believed that love of wife and family was deterring young men from enlisting in his army. He outlawed marriage in an attempt to eradicate the emotions for which he had no capacity.
In sympathy for young lovers who preferred marriage and family to war, Catholic priest Valentinus secretly performed the sacrament to unite couples. Thus, Claudius the Cruel had Valentinus thrown into prison for his dual offenses of being a Christian and an advocate for love.
During Valentinus' imprisonment, many, including children came to visit. Valentinus would teach and tell stories and sometimes heal the infirm. Followers often left flowers and other gifts below the window of the prison. Eventually, even the benevolent jailor brought his 13 year old blind daughter, Julia, to Valentinus for tutoring and council.
Valentinus read to Julia, taught her Roman history and convinced her to believe in God. Though weeks passed and Julia´s sight had not been bestowed, she never lost faith and continued to visit her friend and guide.
Infuriated by the prisoners continued popularity, Claudius had Valentinus beaten, but when the priest did not die of his wounds, on February 14, 279 AD, he was beheaded.
Julia´s father returned home that night with a note for his daughter from the martyr, scribbled to her in his last hour. Her mentor urged her to continue to have faith and signed it "From your Valentine." Upon receiving the note, Julia´s eyesight was instantly restored. Thus, in 496 Pope Gelasius I decreed February 14 Saint Valentine´s Day.
What I will do to celebrate St. Valentine's Day:
I contend, rather than a day even lovers can rarely live up to thanks to commercialism and hype, let's celebrate the qualities of joy, wisdom and encouragement shared between friends? In lieu of a time to spike the greeting card, diamond and flowers industries, let Valentine´s Day represent an honoring of who we are as loving individuals and friends.
In the current distorted observance of the day, few venture out to a movie alone because it has been deemed Lover´s Day and no one wants to look pathetic. (You're not pathetic, you're discerning, my super-ego screams.) Protocol forbids asking a friend to join the throng of couples at a restaurant for fear we will be mistakenly linked in romance. Nor should we pay an exorbitant price for a meal that we would be rushed through for the next feed, stuffed like a moose and left bloated and sleepless.
For now, the benefit of single-hood is that I celebrate Valentine´s Day any day I please and as many days as I desire. I will buy a frozen Chocolate Ganache Torte. Eaten a sliver at a time, the dark chocolate cake filled with chocolate mousse and glazed with semi-sweet chocolate ganache lasts ten days -- okay, 8 when the knife slips. Anyway, unless I invite an innocent, platonic, non-erotic friend to join me in a decadent dessert frenzy, I will enjoy it longer than those lovely, cliché, four-times-the-normal-price red roses will bloom.
Here´s my plan for getting through the I-hate-to-admit-it-but-I-wish-someone-would-buy-me-a pair-of-dangling-diamond-earrings day: I will dress in brown – for chocolate – rather than red. I will sip the German sparkling wine, NV Schloss Biebrich Sekt and dine on Trader Joe´s chez Diana with easy bake appetizers and entrée: Spinach Spanakopita; Crab Puffs; Crab-stuffed Salmon and, of course, Chocolate Ganache Torte.
A fond conversation with a sister, brother or friend will precede the feast and a long, warm, bubble bath will conclude the activities. Karen Drucker´s, "Spirit III," Gary Brian Topper´s, "Flying Eagle," and Gary Malkin´s, "Winterfaith" CDs will play throughout the day into evening – no Barbra Streisand or Celine Dion, and certainly no Barry White. Finally, before sleep overtakes me I will read another chapter of "The Wizard of Oz."
Now, that´s a happy Valentine´s Day!
Diana deRegnier writes from the San Francisco Bay Area, California emphasizing humor, compassion and encouragement for a vibrant spirit. Her articles appear in websites, blogs and print publications around the world. Diana's email: spiritlinks@comcast.net. © copyright 2009 by Diana deRegnier
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