Are You A Hoper Or A Believer?

While working on some paperwork and trying to get caught up with my deadlines, a head popped into my office and said, ?I?m still praying for you.? It was one of my coworkers. She feels the need to stop in every once in awhile and tell me that she?s praying for my travel down the road to perdition. I usually thank her and go on with my work; however, today she was in the mood to proselytize. ?Stan,? she said sincerely, ?let?s talk someday about how you came to your conclusion and how I came to mine.?

Perhaps,? I replied, ?but I?m pretty darn busy right now.?

No, no, not today, maybe some time when we have more time to discuss it in detail.? She was insistent.

I didn?t tell her how I really felt. I don?t want to discuss religion, God, Jesus, scripture, or any other dogma with anyone. For twenty years, I tried to accept the Christian tenets. For twenty years I tried to accept the big Clever Guy in the Sky thing. I just can?t do it. I don?t want to do it. It?s redundant and absolutely unproductive.

How would Christians feel if a body of Atheists would stand on street corners and preach their non-belief in god? How about if I popped my head in my coworkers? offices and said, ?I?m not praying for you because the big guy doesn?t exist. However, Santa Claus will save you if you believe in him.? My guess is they wouldn?t care for it. In fact, they would probably be tossing us off the streets. What if we stood in airports and handed out roses. We could smile and say ?Merry Nothing? to passersby.

I go to work every morning and I usually see the Mormon missionaries hanging out in the ghettoes trying to convert the biggest ?sinners? in my little hometown. I sigh with frustration. The pedophilic Jehovah Witnesses are out in number as well. I want to read them all the Miranda Act when I see them. Of course, we have the charismatic folks getting slain in the spirit, the fundamentalists hopping on one foot and singing, we have the Catholic priests eyeing up their choirboys, and of course about five hundred trillion other religionists out there trying to convert themselves.

You see, that is what it?s all about, trying to convert themselves. I know and have known some very faithful and happy religionists, who have a firm conviction that what they believe in is true. They are convinced that there is an afterlife with an afterglow. However, there are many ?believers? out there that aren?t sure what they believe in. I call them ?hopers.? A hoper is someone that hopes there is something better after this life is over. They don?t want to admit they are only hopers and not believers, so they try to pass themselves off as believers. My last estimate of how many hopers exist in the world is 2.6 billion. How did I arrive at this number? Belief, I believe this number to be true. I guess that makes me a believer.