Down Stethescope Row with Dr. Seuss

Theodor Seuss Geisel lit up the heart of every child of any age with his pointed stories and imaginative drawings. Did you know that he wrote for the more advanced-in-years? Besides Oh the Places You'll Go, Dr. Seuss gifted himself with You're Only Old Once: a Book for Obsolete Children in 1986 for his 82nd birthday.

With his usual gift of prophecy, Dr. Seuss portends the faraway land of Fotta-fa-zee where "everybody feels fine at a hundred and three 'cause the air that they breathe is potassium-free and because they chew nuts from the Tutt-a-Tutt Tree." But back in the present, at the "Golden Years Clinic on Century Square for Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair" our hapless hero is about to be prodded and probed in undignified and unmentionable ways.

Plot tension builds as the patient is taken hostage by the Quiz-Docs. Under interrogation, the brave soldier breaks and reveals family secrets. Questions about grandfather, grandmother, cousins and uncles turn brutal. "Did they suffer Bus Driver's Blight, Chimney Sweep's Stupor, or Pruned Picker's Plight?"

At this point, clothes, valuables and modesty have been surrendered. Escape is futile under the Oglers control. "What those Oglers have learned they're not ready to tell. Clinicians don't spout their opinions pell-mell." Oh doctors, please read this book!

In the end – so to speak – Norval, a thoughtful but bored vestibule fish is the hero's only hope. "He won't bring you much comfort, you know. But he's quite sympathetic as Clinic Fish go."

Not to spoil the ending, but the celebrant inspires courage, confidence and optimism.

Despite implied violence, semi-nudity and complex themes, this book is appropriate for all readers. The lesser-known work is written and illustrated with the same humor and panache as Seuss's first 45 books. "Only Old Once" speaks to anyone who knows someone who is old, is themselves old, or ever intends to be old. It is especially relevant for anyone of any age who has ever experienced or is about to submit to an abusive, intrusive, contra-amusive medical procedure.

Diana deRegnier now writes from Oregon coast. Her articles appear in websites and print publications around the world. © Copyright 2011 by Diana deRegnier