Encircled in gratitude as everyday heroes

Scenario: Man pulled from burning car by strangers. "All I can say is God was watching over me today," the survivor says.

Though I wonder why God would watch over this man and not the young mother from the other car who died on the way to the hospital, I will pass over that discussion to question where the gratitude is for the three fathers-brothers-friends who risked their lives to cut the chosen one out of a seat belt and drag him to safety.

In the name of spirituality there is a strong societal push today for gratitude. There are books to teach us to be thankful; Oprah shows dedicated to the trend; meditation courses; journals; greeting cards. The concept bears great merit – a grateful heart beats joyfully. The problem for me arises when the recipient of our gratitude bypasses people in our lives who deliver the goods. Yes be grateful to God for blessings, and appreciate the messenger, the bearer, the earth angel who acts out their godliness to our benefit. One might think of it as God sent your hero as His emissary. Don't relegate the action heroes to an afterthought.

And don't just appreciate disaster rescuers. Think of those who give us respite from life's daily burdens. A hero is anyone who goes beyond the boundaries of responsibility. Recognize when someone does something when they could have done nothing – those who lift us with kindness and laughter. "Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom," offered Marcel Proust.

Albert Schweitzer spoke often on the subject of gratitude: "At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us."

"Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude," Schweitzer advised.

"Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary," said Margaret Cousins.

To receive appreciation is as great a gift as to extend it. By some ambiguous quirk of culture, some call us arrogant to revel in recognition. First we are taught to seek gold stars for excellence and good behavior. Then, some want to dim our light unless we can be best above all others – not even 2nd or 3rd is winning according to announcers in Olympic Competitions. They call silver and bronze medal winners "losers." Yet, observe in yourself and others how our radiance glows when we are acknowledged.

"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated," said William James.

Let us form a circle of gratitude and appreciation for each other. "To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but [and] to live gratitude is to touch Heaven." – Johannes A. Gaertner

I thank these great thinkers for their powerful words, and I thank you for reading my column today!

Diana deRegnier writes from the San Francisco Bay Area. Her articles appear in numerous Internet and print publications. © Copyright 2008 by Diana deRegnier.