Answers to Interview Questions

Please Note:

Most, but not all of these questions, have been asked of me at some point in the past. Names will remain confidential to protect the guilty parties... ;-)

On 19 July 2005, this article with referenced in the e-newsletter of Asktheheadhunter.com®.

The Interview Process

We have all gone through the inevitable interview process that seemingly evaluates the wrong qualities. If we were asked the right questions, we would all be spared this nonsense. The meeting should be about the work at hand. Show what you can do, instead of answering questions of nominal value.

1. Where do you see yourself in five years?

Alive... ;-) Do you keep people here for five years? Will you be in business five years from now? I hope to be five years wiser.

2. Why are manhole covers round?

I have no idea, and have never lost sleep thinking about this. How does this determine my value to the bottom line of a company that is not in the construction industry? Or does it tell you about my analytical abilities because a major software company uses queries such as this to weed out undesirables? Why don't you give me something real to analyze in your own business?

3. What is your greatest strength and weakness?

My greatest strength is knowing what areas that I need to improve. Once you label something a weakness, in my humble opinion, you can not change it. We all have areas to improve, and they should remain private challenges. Although as my employer, I would welcome any input that you would have to improve myself. Which would make me a better person, and make yours a more profitable company.

4. What is your salary history?

What is yours? What did the last person make in this job with a similar skill set? Do you play lowball or hardball? I can't work for anyone unless I know their salary history. ;-) If I were a guy coming into the NBA out of high school or college, would you base my value upon my "salary history" of working at low-paying jobs? Or not having a job at all? No, you would pay the market rate for my services. Salary history should be confidential. I never knew what my parents or relatives earned, and was smart enough not to ask. Your past earnings should not determine your future paycheck. Your value differs from one company to the next.

The problem is that Human Resouces or hiring authorities believe that they have the right to inquire about our salary histories, and base our value on what someone else thought we were worth. Most of us, myself included, have fallen into this trap and answered the question. Or this query is often used as a screening tool. As in "She costs too much. We can't afford her." How many candidates and employers miss out on great opportunities because of this illogical stance?

When you go to a restaurant, does the server ask, "We really need to know what you paid for your last meal. Then we'll know what to charge you?" If anyone has ever asked you that, dinner is on me. Do you leave a tip based upon your service at the last restaurant?

5. Why should I hire you?

Because you would not want me working for your competition. Whether it was internal or external. The same reason that I would hire you.

6. Why don't you answer questions like other applicants? You seem like someone I wouldn't like to work with or who would be "difficult?"

If difficult is being different, than you are correct. I don't want to answer questions that have no bearing on my ability to do a job or to solve your problems. I want to discuss my work, the challenges that face your team, and how I can help you meet your goals. Not the hundred or thousand most asked interview questions. I can't control if you don't like me. You shouldn't hire somebody because they can answer non-job related questions well. You should hire someone who provides solutions to your problems. That is what work is all about, right? Do any of us interview on a daily basis? Is there a job description or title for "interviewee?" I surely don't want it.

7. What is your dream job?

General manager of a professional soccer team. In the next life, obviously... ;-)

8. What would your last boss say about you?

My boss? That person has not been born yet... ;-) I wrote resumes and provided references for my last two supervisors. I was fortunate to work for very talented individuals. They probably would say, "Hire him. But don't ask him where he will be in five years, his strengths and weaknesses, or his salary history."

9. If you could meet one person, who would it be?

Salma Hayek. ;-) Jokes aside, either His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, Pelé, or His Royal Highness, Prince Albert II of Monaco.

10. How old are you, and what kind of name is "Amoia?"

Old enough to know that you aren't supposed to ask me.

My name? I would like to think that it is an honorable name. My people came over here on a boat. But it wasn't the Santa Maria, the Mayflower, the Amistad, the Bounty, a U-Boat, a Viking explorer, an Indian canoe, a Chinese Junk, the Beagle, or the QEII. Actually, one of my ancestors arrived on these shores on a French ship called, "The Madonna." Not to be confused with the singer... ;-) But you will find Amoias wherever the sun rises and sets in this world. In North America, Europe, South America, Australia, and there is a town named after us on Papua, New Guinea. In the Galicia region of Spain, there is a river called Amoia. Someone once told me that the name means "charisma" in Hawaiian. How is that for diversity? We are citizens of the world. Not "Hispanic, Caucasian, Native American, Asian, Pacific Islander, Middle Eastern, African American, or "Other."

11. Can you show me your best writing?

No, but I can show you my portfolio. My best work is always ahead of me.

12. Why did you leave your last job?

Because when the painting is finished, you shouldn't stick around to admire the view. Unless, of course, you paint golden parachutes... ;-)

13. I want to hire you, since you "did the job" in the interview. Never saw that before. But I will need at least three references, a credit check, a criminal background investigation, a drug screening, a polygraph test, a hair sample, and a handwriting analysis. I'm certain that you can appreciate that we don't want to make a costly mistake. You aren't hiding anything? Never been in trouble, right?

Did President Bush go through all of that for his job? I appreciate that you don't want to make a costly mistake. Me either. So I will need three references, a credit check, a criminal background investigation, a drug screening, a polygraph test, and a handwriting analysis of your CEO and my direct supervisor. The good looking administrative assistant can provide the hair sample. ;-) Oh, and one other thing. Are you hiding anything and have you ever been in trouble?

14. What is your position on gays in the military? Tort reform, you know, too many frivolous lawsuits by lawyers trying to make big bucks? Separation of Church and State? How would you feel working for an ***hole (sic) like me? There are no right answers, Steve, I just want to see how you respond.

If I were in a fox hole, I would not ask if the pilot flying above who was trying to kill our enemy were gay or straight. I understood the word "tort reform." The only thing we need to reform are the frivolous lawyers who clog the legal system with these actions. Regarding religion, I find it ironic that our public currency says "In God We Trust." Perhaps "In Greenspan We Trust" would be more applicable. ;-) Nobody has ever asked me your last question. I'll need to think awhile about that one, Sir. But I appreciate your candor and honesty.

15. Are you loyal to your boss and the company that employs you?

Strange thing about loyalty. It is expected from the bottom of an organization, but rarely at the top. Thousands of workers are laid off as if they never existed. Who was loyal to them? To answer your question, I am as loyal as Luca Brazi was to Don Corleone, unfortunately.

16. If you could be an animal, which one would you choose?

Hopefully, not one in the gunsights of those guys wearing bright orange vests, funny hats, and large numbers on their backs. But let's see. If I lived in North America, I would be an eagle. In South America, a wild horse in the Pampas. In Australia, a koala bear. In Africa, a cheetah. In the Artic Circle, a Siberian Husky. In Europe, a fox. In the deserts of Arabia, a camel. In the South Pacific, a dolphin. (I believe they are found there.) In the Himalayas, a yak.

Now Ms. Interviewer, how do I bring out the animal in you? ;-)

17. The job requirements stipulate a degree in English. This is a government contractor. We must adhere to their wishes. Your tech writing experience, while important, is not the same, either. You have a college degree, but English was not your major. Is there anything else that I can do for you today?

Yes, there is. Pretend I am Ernest Hemingway. Pretty good writer, wouldn't you agree? "Yes, he certainly used the language well. But what is your point?" According to your criteria, you could not hire him. Ernest Hemingway did not major in English. "Oh, I didn't know that, what was his major?" None. He never went to college, and your client will never know what they passed up due to such stringent criteria. Not to mention many other talented writers who could do this job, and deliver it at a profit. By the way, where did William Shakespeare go to University? Or Frederick Douglass? Two men who had an excellent command of the King's English. But no English degree. Either you can explain something to the target audience, which is the basis for technical writing, or you can't. It is very simple. No degree can certify that ability. Writing samples can.

Your Next Interview

Should I send these to the McCain and Obama camps for their upcoming debates? :-)

But jokes aside, I hope that this humorous, and at times, true account, will provide you with a different perspective the next time you are on either side of the table. Nobody is better qualified to be you than yourself. An interview is the opportunity to show why you are the best qualified person to meet the employer's or client's needs, deliver the job at a profit, and add your skills to their talent pool. Show your unique traits, make no apologies, and hold your head high.

Further Reading

A great web site with a contrarian perspective about career management is Asktheheadhunter.com®.