The secret of Love
Juan D. Guevara Torres
September 15, 2008
We've all heard something like 'I can't live without you!', 'life is not the same without you!', 'you are my happiness' and so on. We feel great when the person we like, likes us back. We enjoy every single minute. We feel we don't need to ask anything more from life. On the other hand, we feel miserable when we break out with him or her, especially when we find out that our 'soul mate' is moving on and 'we are still in love'.
We literally allow others to run our feelings, getting mad if they do not 'make us happy' or 'happy enough', instead of taking true responsibility of what we think; of what we feel.
The truth is: the way we think is the way we feel, and also is they way we live. All the negative feelings we have toward our own-selves are generated out of fear; and fear is the direct result of self-pity, of despair. Moreover you, nobody else, is the one whom generates this thought. Is a belief that originated when you were a child and you decided to make it real.
Love towards someone starts with love towards your own self and the true understanding that loving someone does not obligate them to love you back. In fact, if you expect someone to love you, just because you love him or her, your love is not true. If you love your self first, then your heart will be able to truly and deeply love someone else, even if they do not feel the same way towards you.
The secret of a successful relationship revolves around this fact: true love requires true freedom: That is, you will truly love someone when you allow them to be free, with no attachments, with no conditions, without expecting anything in return.
Also, the moment you understand and accept that you - and only you - are the sole responsible for your own happiness and you stop transferring that responsibility to others, then you will start breaking free from emotional dependencies and destructive relationships. This will allow you to love people for what they really are - and not for what you expect or would like them to be.
There are four commonly mistaken beliefs: The first one is the belief that you can make somebody feel good. The second one is that somebody can make you feel good. The third one is that you can make somebody feel bad. And the last one is that somebody can make you feel bad. None of this is true. What is true is that every single individual decides every moment the way they feel. Remember what the people from India say " happiness is a path not a destiny: Happiness is a choice, so its love.
If you really want to be in an outstanding, rewarding relationship love your self first. And remember: nobody can love what he or she doesn´t know. So get to know you now, so you can love you now. You will discover then that true, selfless love towards others only attracts true selfless love towards you.
We literally allow others to run our feelings, getting mad if they do not 'make us happy' or 'happy enough', instead of taking true responsibility of what we think; of what we feel.
The truth is: the way we think is the way we feel, and also is they way we live. All the negative feelings we have toward our own-selves are generated out of fear; and fear is the direct result of self-pity, of despair. Moreover you, nobody else, is the one whom generates this thought. Is a belief that originated when you were a child and you decided to make it real.
Love towards someone starts with love towards your own self and the true understanding that loving someone does not obligate them to love you back. In fact, if you expect someone to love you, just because you love him or her, your love is not true. If you love your self first, then your heart will be able to truly and deeply love someone else, even if they do not feel the same way towards you.
The secret of a successful relationship revolves around this fact: true love requires true freedom: That is, you will truly love someone when you allow them to be free, with no attachments, with no conditions, without expecting anything in return.
Also, the moment you understand and accept that you - and only you - are the sole responsible for your own happiness and you stop transferring that responsibility to others, then you will start breaking free from emotional dependencies and destructive relationships. This will allow you to love people for what they really are - and not for what you expect or would like them to be.
There are four commonly mistaken beliefs: The first one is the belief that you can make somebody feel good. The second one is that somebody can make you feel good. The third one is that you can make somebody feel bad. And the last one is that somebody can make you feel bad. None of this is true. What is true is that every single individual decides every moment the way they feel. Remember what the people from India say " happiness is a path not a destiny: Happiness is a choice, so its love.
If you really want to be in an outstanding, rewarding relationship love your self first. And remember: nobody can love what he or she doesn´t know. So get to know you now, so you can love you now. You will discover then that true, selfless love towards others only attracts true selfless love towards you.
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