Marriage, Divorce and God
Melissa Smith-Gay
September 04, 2008
I recently went to my cousin´s second wedding, ironically enough she remarried the same man. The question that comes to everyone´s mind is didn´t she learn the first time. Some say you cannot change or is that just what people say to make themselves feel better. Most people don´t want to think that someone they love can be so bad or is it just that they can´t let go of what they always have had. I guess it is like an old comfortable pair of shoes, you break them in and they fit just right and sometimes you are reluctant to buy a new pair because you have to spend all of that time again to break in the new pair knowing that they are going to get old and you will need to replace them. It is sad to compare men to shoes but come on now women we love both.
I have found myself looking down the road of is this all there is and wondering if the grass would be greener on the other side. Or asking why can´t I be one of the lucky happy people or is it just a façade they put on to make it look like they are truly happy. Maybe there are no true happy endings. Maybe it is what you have you should settle for. Settle that is the word that I hear a lot of people use. Could it be that people are just scared to be alone and worry that they will never find love so they settle for either the one who will marry them or the one that fits close enough to their wants and needs? I think in the beginning of any relationship everyone hopes for the best but it is the staying power and the support that counts. Could you truly love someone that gave you all of the support in the world or is the physical more important than the emotional? Sometimes you tend to get neither. The spark goes out for whatever reason and it is so hard to get it back. After years of fighting and trying you just get to a point to where you know that love should not be this hard and maybe it is time to let go. Then you must question how does God play a role in this? I have been looking up inserts from the Bible and it says that "Therefore, what GOD has joined..." (Matthew 19:6b). The bible goes on to say that if God does not approve the marriage and you married amidst, a marriage that was not blessed by him that you are truly not married in the eyes of God. The Scripture that commands us not to pull apart "what God has put together" deals with "what GOD has put together!" If God did not put the marriage together, you shouldn´t be in it in the first place. If you are in such a marriage, we can get out. In 1Corinthians 7:12-16 states that if you are married to a non-believer the spouse that believes can save the other but the children will be holy but unclean. It says that you shouldn´t divorce over such reasons but if you do, so be it. The bible also says that if the spouse is unwilling to become a child of God then a divorce is fit in the eyes of the Lord. God recognizes different means for divorce and he will forgive the sin if it was that the wife and children were unsafe or the man or family is unholy because the man is an extension of the family.
This information completely blew my mind and I went through several sites seeing the definition and the exclamation of the scripture and the test it is taken in. So, what God has joined only implies if God approved of the marriage and you didn´t decide your own fate out of stubbornness.
I believe that there are signs and God is trying to tell us something. I believe that he isn´t going to make things easy on us if we didn´t listen as we should of in the first place. My mother believed that we pay for our sins here on Earth. In any case I believe that he innately wants us to be happy and have a good understanding of his love but we must be taught and in the beginning as the end we are his children and he governs our house the same as he does his own. The next question is why do people who were married once do it again? Could it be out of stubbornness or did these two people grow so much that it changed their perspective on life and love and God decided this time to bless their union of love. Only time can tell and I hope this time for my cousins sake it is right. To see her suffer and the two of them put the kids first. That was the greatest thing of all. Sometimes something´s just don´t work out but it doesn´t mean that you can´t love each other but just not be in love and married. I have seen many people do this and end up happier than they were together. In the end I think we are just fumbling through life hoping we all get it right but for some they never will get it.
I have found myself looking down the road of is this all there is and wondering if the grass would be greener on the other side. Or asking why can´t I be one of the lucky happy people or is it just a façade they put on to make it look like they are truly happy. Maybe there are no true happy endings. Maybe it is what you have you should settle for. Settle that is the word that I hear a lot of people use. Could it be that people are just scared to be alone and worry that they will never find love so they settle for either the one who will marry them or the one that fits close enough to their wants and needs? I think in the beginning of any relationship everyone hopes for the best but it is the staying power and the support that counts. Could you truly love someone that gave you all of the support in the world or is the physical more important than the emotional? Sometimes you tend to get neither. The spark goes out for whatever reason and it is so hard to get it back. After years of fighting and trying you just get to a point to where you know that love should not be this hard and maybe it is time to let go. Then you must question how does God play a role in this? I have been looking up inserts from the Bible and it says that "Therefore, what GOD has joined..." (Matthew 19:6b). The bible goes on to say that if God does not approve the marriage and you married amidst, a marriage that was not blessed by him that you are truly not married in the eyes of God. The Scripture that commands us not to pull apart "what God has put together" deals with "what GOD has put together!" If God did not put the marriage together, you shouldn´t be in it in the first place. If you are in such a marriage, we can get out. In 1Corinthians 7:12-16 states that if you are married to a non-believer the spouse that believes can save the other but the children will be holy but unclean. It says that you shouldn´t divorce over such reasons but if you do, so be it. The bible also says that if the spouse is unwilling to become a child of God then a divorce is fit in the eyes of the Lord. God recognizes different means for divorce and he will forgive the sin if it was that the wife and children were unsafe or the man or family is unholy because the man is an extension of the family.
This information completely blew my mind and I went through several sites seeing the definition and the exclamation of the scripture and the test it is taken in. So, what God has joined only implies if God approved of the marriage and you didn´t decide your own fate out of stubbornness.
I believe that there are signs and God is trying to tell us something. I believe that he isn´t going to make things easy on us if we didn´t listen as we should of in the first place. My mother believed that we pay for our sins here on Earth. In any case I believe that he innately wants us to be happy and have a good understanding of his love but we must be taught and in the beginning as the end we are his children and he governs our house the same as he does his own. The next question is why do people who were married once do it again? Could it be out of stubbornness or did these two people grow so much that it changed their perspective on life and love and God decided this time to bless their union of love. Only time can tell and I hope this time for my cousins sake it is right. To see her suffer and the two of them put the kids first. That was the greatest thing of all. Sometimes something´s just don´t work out but it doesn´t mean that you can´t love each other but just not be in love and married. I have seen many people do this and end up happier than they were together. In the end I think we are just fumbling through life hoping we all get it right but for some they never will get it.
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