How To Destroy Your Chances At Getting Your Ex Back: Five Tips
Marc Sandford
September 04, 2008
When you've just had a break up with your ex your system is under a great deal of emotional stress. Nature has wired the brain such that extreme stress makes us act first then think afterwards. Unfortunately, this won't work very well if we're trying to win back our ex.
Unless you're an expert on managing break ups, your impulses will lead you in the wrong direction. Heated emotions will bring on bad judgement which leads to lousy decisions. Simply being aware of the common errors that people will make and staying calm will start you off on the right foot.
1.) Using threats is a method that's not likely to work on anyone. Most people respond by becoming quite angry and telling you off. Winning someone's love is about enticement and attraction while threats are repugnant and coercive.
2.) You shouldn't do any begging or pleading. This will only diminish you in her eyes because it puts you in a very weak position. There's nothing enticing about looking pathetic and desperate.
Remember that maturity, confidence and strength are male attributes that the ladies like. Pleading is often portrayed in Hollywood as a grand romantic and moving gesture. But in real life, you'll only win contempt from her.
3.) Giving your ex lots of attention just after you've broken up may make sense when you are gripped by panic. But that's only because a panic state makes you feel an incredible sense of urgency to repair the problem immediately at any cost. From her point of view, you will come across as a little crazy and very desperate.
So it's best to not do any of the phone calls or the text messages. And to allow the situation and yourself, a little time for cooling off.
4.) It's late at night and you have an intense need to give her a call. You're feeling very much alone and maybe have had a drink or two. Try very hard not to phone her.
There's at least two very good reasons for not giving her a call. One is that it's an impulsive call that was made when you're feeling emotionally strung out. It's any ones guess what you might say.
The other reason is you'll seem needy and desperate. Unless she's attracted by those qualities, it's not a good idea.
5.) Avoid arguments about the separation. Doing this will defeat you in several ways. First, both of you need a little time to cool down and incessant arguing just fuels the fire.
Also, arguing against breaking apart can flip you into pleading mode or anger mode. Using anger against her won't make her back down, it'll make getting her back more difficult. Pleading will cause her to question why you are so desperate and needy.
Desperation equates having no confidence, being dependent, and being too easy to get. These are not the characteristics of the ideal man.
Remember that half the battle is not making the mistakes that reduce your chances at winning your ex back. This is done by not allowing yourself to get gripped by panic, anger or any of the other intense emotions that commonly occur during a break up. Avoid thoughts and circumstances that stir up these negative feelings and start your plan to win her back.
Need more information about dealing with break ups? Visit http://howtogetyourgirlback.org.
Unless you're an expert on managing break ups, your impulses will lead you in the wrong direction. Heated emotions will bring on bad judgement which leads to lousy decisions. Simply being aware of the common errors that people will make and staying calm will start you off on the right foot.
1.) Using threats is a method that's not likely to work on anyone. Most people respond by becoming quite angry and telling you off. Winning someone's love is about enticement and attraction while threats are repugnant and coercive.
2.) You shouldn't do any begging or pleading. This will only diminish you in her eyes because it puts you in a very weak position. There's nothing enticing about looking pathetic and desperate.
Remember that maturity, confidence and strength are male attributes that the ladies like. Pleading is often portrayed in Hollywood as a grand romantic and moving gesture. But in real life, you'll only win contempt from her.
3.) Giving your ex lots of attention just after you've broken up may make sense when you are gripped by panic. But that's only because a panic state makes you feel an incredible sense of urgency to repair the problem immediately at any cost. From her point of view, you will come across as a little crazy and very desperate.
So it's best to not do any of the phone calls or the text messages. And to allow the situation and yourself, a little time for cooling off.
4.) It's late at night and you have an intense need to give her a call. You're feeling very much alone and maybe have had a drink or two. Try very hard not to phone her.
There's at least two very good reasons for not giving her a call. One is that it's an impulsive call that was made when you're feeling emotionally strung out. It's any ones guess what you might say.
The other reason is you'll seem needy and desperate. Unless she's attracted by those qualities, it's not a good idea.
5.) Avoid arguments about the separation. Doing this will defeat you in several ways. First, both of you need a little time to cool down and incessant arguing just fuels the fire.
Also, arguing against breaking apart can flip you into pleading mode or anger mode. Using anger against her won't make her back down, it'll make getting her back more difficult. Pleading will cause her to question why you are so desperate and needy.
Desperation equates having no confidence, being dependent, and being too easy to get. These are not the characteristics of the ideal man.
Remember that half the battle is not making the mistakes that reduce your chances at winning your ex back. This is done by not allowing yourself to get gripped by panic, anger or any of the other intense emotions that commonly occur during a break up. Avoid thoughts and circumstances that stir up these negative feelings and start your plan to win her back.
Need more information about dealing with break ups? Visit http://howtogetyourgirlback.org.
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