Fix My Problem! 3 ways to help colleagues deal with difficult people or a toxic situation
Marsha Petrie Sue
July 14, 2008
Recently a woman wanted to know how, as an administrator, she could help other people who were having problems with the General Manager. Currently she was sending them to Human Resources and nothing was being resolved.
Dave Rawles from Career Solutions gave a wonderful comment and good advice. The Human Resource Department is not the ringmaster. Each employee must take personal responsibility for handling their issues of communications, conflict, problems and perception (except of course if the bosses behavior is illegal and crosses EEOC boundaries.)
I advised her to suggest different resources to help them grow their skill and motivation, which in turn will help their confidence in broaching the person directly with an improved attitude. I am totally convinced that people want others to fix their problems and that most people are too lazy to change their own bad habits. Donīt get pulled into this difficult person behavior and they donīt even know they are being a toxic person! All it will do is jeopardize your productivity and focus.
Does this sound cruel and abusive or like inhumane punishment? It shouldnīt because we must all take personal responsibility for our outcomes and choices and leave others to their own devices. You cannot "help" anyone and in my opinion, you can only give them considerations.
1. Give them a book, website or article to read to improve their communication skill. You can help them keep track on the road to personal development.
2. Recommend they learn negotiation skills. Just do a Google search on Negotiating Skills and you will be amazed what you find. Maybe this is a good step for you too!
3. Suggest they find a mentor to help them make different choices and to pass their approaches by another party. Learn what real mentoring is by visiting web sites that offer definitions and advice. Email me at Marsha@MarshaPetrieSue.com for the 10 Commandments of Cooperation - you will enjoy them and can make copies and distribute them to difficult people.
www.CareerSolutions.com
www.RickGillis.com
Both of these web site offer incredible information on career management. And remember, get ready for being outsourced, laid off, and downsized. Someone right now is working on freeing up your future and it IS your personal responsibility to be prepared. In the meantime, don't buy into other peoples work issues and boss problems.
Here is what you can do. Learn how to create your own light. There is an overwhelming amount of information on the Internet - you just need to ferret through it and focus!
Enjoy. Marsha
Dave Rawles from Career Solutions gave a wonderful comment and good advice. The Human Resource Department is not the ringmaster. Each employee must take personal responsibility for handling their issues of communications, conflict, problems and perception (except of course if the bosses behavior is illegal and crosses EEOC boundaries.)
I advised her to suggest different resources to help them grow their skill and motivation, which in turn will help their confidence in broaching the person directly with an improved attitude. I am totally convinced that people want others to fix their problems and that most people are too lazy to change their own bad habits. Donīt get pulled into this difficult person behavior and they donīt even know they are being a toxic person! All it will do is jeopardize your productivity and focus.
Does this sound cruel and abusive or like inhumane punishment? It shouldnīt because we must all take personal responsibility for our outcomes and choices and leave others to their own devices. You cannot "help" anyone and in my opinion, you can only give them considerations.
1. Give them a book, website or article to read to improve their communication skill. You can help them keep track on the road to personal development.
2. Recommend they learn negotiation skills. Just do a Google search on Negotiating Skills and you will be amazed what you find. Maybe this is a good step for you too!
3. Suggest they find a mentor to help them make different choices and to pass their approaches by another party. Learn what real mentoring is by visiting web sites that offer definitions and advice. Email me at Marsha@MarshaPetrieSue.com for the 10 Commandments of Cooperation - you will enjoy them and can make copies and distribute them to difficult people.
www.CareerSolutions.com
www.RickGillis.com
Both of these web site offer incredible information on career management. And remember, get ready for being outsourced, laid off, and downsized. Someone right now is working on freeing up your future and it IS your personal responsibility to be prepared. In the meantime, don't buy into other peoples work issues and boss problems.
Here is what you can do. Learn how to create your own light. There is an overwhelming amount of information on the Internet - you just need to ferret through it and focus!
Enjoy. Marsha
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