Meet Paula : Excerpt from Raise the Red Teddy

Meet Paula

Paula, another single mother of one, decided that after two weeks with her newborn son, she needed a break and dropped him off with her mother for weeks at a time. I´m not a doctor, but I couldn´t help but think at first that it may have been a bit of baby blues that led her to do such a thing. Surly I remember a time shortly after my own child´s birth when I sat quietly on the floor in front of her crib and cried because she was crying, and after having changed and fed her, didn´t know what else to do. My situation wasn´t quite like Paula´s.

Paula´s son is now 3 years old, and to this day she still leaves her son with her mother, now, for months at a time. As a result, of course, her son prefers staying with his grandmother over his own mother and let´s his mother know it.

"Bye-bye mommy, I´m going with grandma now." The poor little thing has even asked his grandmother to be his mom. "You my mommy now, okay?"

She´s an extreme case, this Paula girl, but I only mention her case to illustrate an extreme deterioration of a mother/child relationship due to the frequent absence of his mother. Now, most women will not be able to do such a thing, but when separation from your child is done early and often, the bonding process becomes more difficult for both the mother and the child. Avoid sabotaging the bond with your children.

If a short-term escape is what you desire, you might want to reconsider scheduling a date and set aside some time for you instead. All of your adult life you may have been in the company of someone; your children, your husband; a boyfriend… If all you need is a break, investing this time on yourself would be a wise one. Go get a pedicure. Climb the rocks on the beach. Go see an R-rated movie. Go hang out with a girlfriend you haven´t seen in a while. As a mother, I recommend that you find serenity hanging out with yourself before pursuing the company of someone new. You´d feel so much better about yourself once you discover how cool you are to hang with.