How Flexibility, Change, and Self Esteem can Manage Difficult and Toxic People´s Behavior

Just the term "Toxic People" conjures up visions of emotional vampires and mental terrorism. You can´t lead yourself to success if you let this kind of jerk create stress. And getting ticked off only gives this difficult person the power over you. Conflict can be a great opportunity for growth and can help create balance and survival.

The worst thing you can do when dealing with a toxic person is become defensive or angry. If you start feeling upset, or have the tendency to add criticism, excuse yourself for a moment, count to 10, and return when you are feeling objective again. Train yourself to say "I´m not ready to address this right now. Let´s meet in tomorrow morning (or whatever time) to resolve this situation." This works whether you are with Generation X, Generation Y, the opposite gender or experiencing cultural differences.

Mental terrorism, those little voices that are telling you can´t or they will never listen to you, often stems from the lack of self-confidence. When you feel you can handle life´s challenges and especially difficult people, you create the capability to move forward in a positive manner. This is self-esteem. The external application of self-esteem spills over into self-confidence.

Quick tips for building self-confidence and self esteem:

1. Maintain a strong belief in your own competencies to stop the thoughts of vulnerability. Take personal responsibility in building you.

2. Review your talents and build from them. Check your weaknesses and if they are the problem, learn to change them.

3. Cancel your membership in the whine and cheese club. "Oh, cheese, this is so hard -- being at war with the economy in the tank and our troops overseas." (You can hear the tone can´t you?)

4. Keep your focus on being problem-oriented rather than danger-oriented. Understand that there is a problem to be solved not a threat to your life or well being. This helps solutions appear quickly.

5. Rise above it. Pretend you are in a hot air balloon and lift your thoughts over the issue to get a new view. Listen to what is really the problem at hand.

6. Remember that a positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will tick off enough people to make it work the effort.

Stop feeling caged and give your group the tools to soar to the next level. Neither you nor anyone around you needs to have ruffled feathers! It´s for the birds.

Email Marsha for your copy of the Ten Commandments of Cooperation Marsha@MarshaPetrieSue.com

Visit www.MarshaPetriesSue.com or chime in on the blog at http://www.decontaminatetoxicpeople.com