Oromo Marriage - Cultural Gap between Ethiopian Oromos and Abyssinian Amharas & Tigrays
Dr. Muhammad Shamsaddin Megalommatis
June 19, 2008
Working under the supervision of the pro-eminent Oromo scholar Asafa Tefera Dibaba (editor of Ms. Moreda´s dissertation), Ms. Opsan Moreda intends to continue her research in this key field for the demonstration of both, the Kushitic Ethiopian Oromo continuity and the chaotic difference and ethnic – religious – cultural and socio-behavioural dissimilarity between the Ethiopian Oromos, and the non-Ethiopian, Abyssinian Amharas and Tigrays. For this reason, and due to the originality of the paper, I decided that I had to first diffuse it as largest possible on the web, and then comment extensively on the affinities between marriage ceremonies and marriage counseling among the Ancient Egyptians and Kushitic Ethiopians and the Modern Oromos.
In the present article, I republish the entire Chapter 2 of Ms. Opsan Moreda´s dissertation, which focuses on the ´Theoretical Framework and Related Studies´. In this, methodologically critical, part of her study, Ms. Moreda reveals her strong background in the international bibliography and scholarly approach to the subject. In this part, we can find extensive details on the major forms of marriage counseling, the steps in marriage counseling, its orientation, and – last but not least – the types and formalities of Oromo marriage.
Themes & Patterns of Traditional Oromo Marriage Counseling
By Opsan Moreda
Chapter 2 – Theoretical Framework and Related Studies
This chapter aims at surveying various models of counseling. It has three sections: in the firs section of the chapter, western schools of thought and theories relevant to marriage and family counseling are surveyed. In the second section, research works conducted in Ethiopia on marriage and family counseling and the Oromo indigenous model of marriage counseling and conflict resolution are presented. Finally, an attempt is made to synthesize those theoretical nuances and form an eclectic approach to cater for the interdisciplinary nature of the problem of marriage counseling.
2.1 Theoretical framework
2.1.1 The family therapy model
Since the time of Freud, the field of psychotherapy has expanded at a rapid rate. It is estimated that there are now more than 200 therapy models and 400 techniques associated with these models (Karasu, 1986; Miller, Duncan, & Hubble, 1997). Since the 1960s, the number of psychotherapy approaches, and their respective techniques have grown by approximately 600% (Garfield & Bergin, 1994). Yet, this rapid proliferation of therapy models is not only a sign of rapid growth, but also a reflection of the splintered nature of the psychotherapy field as a whole.
Related to therapy, Stroup et al. (1959) state that the word ´therapy´ has different meaning for different professions and to the lay public. Not only the psychiatrist, but many psychologists, social workers, recreation workers physical therapists, and marriage counselors believe they do ´therapy´. Roger (1961) as cited in Olu (1978) concludes that guidance counseling is an optimal helping relationship created by a person who is psychologically mature to facilitate the growth of others as separate persons. Perez (1965), as cited in Olu (1978), suggests that therapy is an interactive process co-joining the counselee who needs assistance and the counselor whose goal is to help the counselee to deal more effectively with himself and the reality of his environment. In other words, the all-pervading objective of guidance and counseling, as in all other helping professions (e.g., clinical psychology, social work, service to the disadvantaged, psychoanalysis and psychotherapy), is to bring about a self-initiated behavior change through alternatives provided by professionals (Olu, 1978).
Jaffe & Segal (2007) citing Sprenkle et al (1999) further explain that the field of marriage and family therapy (MFT) has not escaped growth or theoretical fragmentation. From its early years, MFT has comprised of a group of distinct, competing theories each built largely around the ideas and personalities of charismatic theoreticians and gifted clinicians.
2.1.2 Models of marriage and family therapy
There are many types of therapy models. Generally, they all seek to help people improve their lives. How they go about that depends on their different philosophies, or "theoretical orientation". Each type of orientation involves different ideas about what causes the pain in our lives and what will help us heal and move forward in happier and more productive ways. Among many focuses of different orientation some are:
focus on the past – family origin, earlier life difficulties, how the present is rooted in the past experience
focus more on the present – regardless of the past, what is happening in the here- and-now, what choices are being made, whether the results are satisfactory.
focus on thoughts and behaviors – the ways we understand or interpret things that are happening in our lives, and what actions we take
focus on the body itself - how the things happening in our lives show up as stress in physical armature and physical reactions.(Jaffe & Segal,2007).
Therapy sessions are usually 45-50 minutes in length, one or more times per week. The number of sessions depends on the types of difficulties experienced by the client – symptomatic relief can often be achieved in a few sessions, longer and more lasting changes in negative behavior patterns might take a year or longer, and depth life issues might require several years to overcome.
In what is to follow, we discuss different therapy models to lay a fertile ground for an eclectic model of marriage counseling fused with the indigenous model.
a) The social learning approach
This school of therapy has organized itself around the tenets of social learning theory. Vincent (1980a & b) as cited in Olson et al. (1980), makes it clear that social learning theory does not have a unified set of propositions. Rather the "theory" is an assembly of several models: most importantly, operant learning and social exchange theories, along with smatterings of general systems theories (Alexander and Barton, 1976) and attribution theory (Margolin and Weiss, 1978).
Social learning theory has a significant effect in counseling marriage and family because its basic tents are readily translatable into treatment modalities and techniques that can be tasted empirically. Although social learning conceptualizations of marital and family distress vary somewhat, all of these therapists stress that intervention is the most effective if it focuses on increasing positive acts and decreasing negative ones. These behavioral changes are hypothesized to produce positive changes in feelings and cognitions about relationships (Olson et al., 1980).
Scholars have done extensive studies (Weiss et al., 1972; Birchler et al., 1975; Vincent, 1980a and b as sited in Olson et al 1980) on the use of social learning theory for understanding and changing interaction patterns in marital systems.
b) Experiential family therapy
The leading proponents of this school are Whitaker (1977), Napier (1978) and Keith (1978). The term experiential family therapy is Whitaker´s label for what is essentially an existential orientation. This therapists emphasize personal and family growth through experiencing one´s own irrationality and "craziness". Dysfunctional families are depicted as locked into their own rationality which must be blocked by "right brain" strategies such as use of metaphor, absurd overstatement of the clients´ problem, or the therapist discussing his own "craziness" (Olson et al., 1980).
Existential family therapy looks at the rules and roles played by family members and how family members struggle if those rules and roles are either poorly defined or inflexible, emphasis on communication patterns, treatment involves the entire family and often incorporates role playing or other drama or art ( Jaffe & Segal, 2007).
c) Structural family therapy
This highly influential school of thought centers on Salvadore Minuchin and Child Guidance Center in Philadelphia. The structural approach to family therapy focuses on how the myriads of sub-systems, which encompass and comprise families are connected. Minuchin´s key notion of "boundary" refers to the degree of permeability, which characterizes such systemic interfaces. By interacting with a family´s various sub-systems, a structural family therapist assesses its structural viability. Therapeutic interventions follow based on rearranging the family´s structure in a way that attempts to:
(1) establish a clear generational hierarchy, and
(2) promote semi-permeable boundaries (i.e., neither enmeshed nor disengaged)
(Olson, 1980).
Jaffe & Segal also point out that structural family therapy looks at the generational alliances in families; seeks to strengthen the parental dyad in its managerial role in the family; focus in treatment is the entire family, with shifts in the structure of the interactions.
In a family system each member plays a role that serves to sustain the balance (homeostasis), regardless of whether the family members are happy with the way things are, with the status quo. According to Jaffe & Segal, a change to any one member of the set will cause the entire system to have to change and readjust (Jaffe & Segal, 2007).
d) Bowenian family therapy model
The model looks at the generational patterns that are handed down in families; how family members often form "triangles" in their relationships by pulling others into a matter that actually concerns two people; focus in treatment is on the marital dyad, regardless of the family's view about which child or adult is the "problem"(Jaffe & Segal, 2007).
In addition to the above schools of family therapy, any of the theoretical orientations described below might be adapted to working with couples, families or groups (Jaffe & Segal, 2007).
i) Psychodynamic psychotherapy model
Psychodynamic psychotherapy is used to help clients understand themselves more fully. The theory behind this approach is that our past-adverse childhood experiences or other unconscious conflicts- is the basis for problems that persist into adulthood, such as unusually low self-esteem, anxiety, or a feeling of being incomplete (Jaffe & Segal, 2007). Psychodynamic therapy presumes that some facets of our lives are hidden from us, in the subconscious mind, and that we use defenses to help keep us from experiencing the pain that would come from acknowledging elements from our past. Psychodynamic therapy can help to recognize and look behind these protective defense mechanisms, to bring the unconscious in to conscious awareness, and to uncover and deal more effectively neurotic conflicts (Jaffee & Segal)
ii) Interpersonal psychotherapy model
Interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT) is an approach based on the view that our current problems are maladaptive behaviors rooted in our previous interpersonal relationships. Personality is not a focus of this type of therapy, as it usually is with psychodynamic psychotherapy. Jaffe & Segal (2007) explained that interpersonal psychotherapy generally targets at:
interpersonal disputes or difficulties, that is, marital, family, work, or social relations;
role transitions, i.e., adapting to changes in social or occupational roles or other life circumstances.
grief and loss issues
interpersonal deficits
The same researchers further showed IPT is a short-term, highly structured approach that has been used to treat a wide range of issues, such as depression, eating disorders, and anxiety, all with an eye on the involvement of relationships in the past and present. Interpersonal psychotherapy is also a broad term sometimes used in reference to many approaches that involve current issues related to interpersonal factors. Some of these therapeutic modalities are Humanistic, Gestalt, and Transactional Analysis (TA). Most of these interpersonal therapies utilize such tools as:
active listening
clarification
communication exercises
role playing
encouragement of expression of feelings
iii. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)
Cognitive therapy involves identifying and changing harmful or ineffective thinking patterns. Behavioral therapy helps a client to recognize certain harmful or inappropriate behaviors that may be operating automatically, without awareness, and to substitute behaviors that are more helpful. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) uses a combination of both cognitive and behavioral therapy. CBT explores both thinking patterns and harmful or self-destructive behaviors that might accompany them. The therapy then combines changing the thinking patterns along with changing the behavior.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is also known by the names given to it by certain well-known authors, such as Albert Ellis (Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy – REBT), or David Beck (Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy). In general, the approach taken is that events themselves do not cause our reactions. Rather, our thoughts – the meaning we give to external events – affect in some way our feelings and behaviors. Thus, changing our thoughts will lead to changes in the way we feel or act (Olson et al).
Generally, after 40 years of research, studies clearly support the idea that people who undergo psychotherapy treatment are better off than those who do not (Lambert & Bergin, 1994; Smith et al 1980). In an overview of psychotherapy outcome research, meta-analyses, and scholarly reviews of the last 40 years Hubble et al. (1999) report that psychotherapy has been shown to work: "regarding at least its general efficacy, few believe that therapy need be put to the test any longer (p. 2)." However, although it is well substantiated that therapy works, there is no clear indication as to exactly which therapy approach is most efficacious (Miller et al., 1997). The bulk of studies indicate that there are no meaningful differences among therapy models (Lambert & Bergin, 1994). Luborsky and others (1975) refer to this finding as the "dodo-bird verdict," which is taken from the children's book, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (Carroll, 1992), which proclaims that, "everyone has won and so all must have prizes" (p. 34 ).
2.1.3 Marriage counseling
2.1.3.1 Major forms of marriage counseling
Most counseling is conducted through two major treatment modalities or forms, those of individual interview and those of group sessions. Fitting this concept with the idea that there are three entities in a marriage: two separate spouses, and the marriage itself, results in a third formulation. That is, that there are six different major modalities by which marital difficulties can be treated. According to Cookerly, some modalities include: seeing one spouse in interviews or group sessions, seeing both spouses in separate interview or group sessions, seeing both spouses together in interviews or group sessions (Cookerly, 1973). Cookerly groups marriage counseling in the following six forms:
individual interview marriage counseling
individual group marriage counseling
concurrent interview marriage counseling
concurrent group marriage counseling
conjoint interview marriage counseling
conjoint group marriage counseling
Each of these forms may be a vehicle in which various techniques and the many therapeutic systems can be delivered.
Burton and Kaplan (1968) as cited in Cookerly (1973) found group counseling to be more successful than individual treatments in studying 179 couples in which alcoholism rather than marital problems was the main focus of the counseling. Numerous authorities such as Michaelson (1963), Alexander (1968), and Peterson as cited in Cookerly (ibid.) have found that there is a strong and growing trend away from using concurrent interviews toward using conjoint interviews.
Gottlieb (1969), Dicks (1964), and Olson (1970) also found that group methods of marriage counseling are becoming somewhat popular. Cookerly found that different forms of marriage counseling tend to produce different outcomes and some forms, specially the conjoint ones, are superior to others.
The trend in the family therapy field appears to be toward specifying which mode of therapy is most effective for which group of clients presenting which sorts of problems. Frank (1979,p312) suggests: "the focus should be on particular forms of therapy that seem to work exceptionally well with few patients and seek to define the characteristics of both the therapy and the patients that lead to happy result" (Olson et al.,1980).
An alternative to focusing on the presenting symptoms is to focus on the type of family system. Olson et al. (1980) have emphasized the importance of system diagnosis prior to intervention. A given symptom may serve multiple functions in a relationship system.
The following implications for practice are supported by the empirical research and overlap with the recommendations Gurman and Kniskern (1978b) make for the training of marriage and family therapists:
conjoint marital therapy appears more useful that individual therapy for improving marital relationships.
family therapy appears more useful than individual therapy for a wide range of presenting problems. However, for most presenting problems, it is not possible to specify the best type of family treatment
no one "school" of marital or family therapy has been demonstrated to be effective with a wide range of presenting problems.
therapist relationship skills are important regardless of the conceptual orientation or "school" of the family therapist.
2.1.3.2 Marriage counselor
According to Olson, a successful counselor is someone who has a mature and balanced state of mind and disposition, who can place him/herself in the shoes of those s/he is counseling and the ability to respect their opinions, thoughts, feeling, and, more importantly, emotion (Olson et al., 1980).
Walter (1952) as cited in Jaffe & Segal (2007) states, it is important that the counselor possess within himself sufficient emotional maturity to promote warmth and empathy in the counseling relationship and at the same time not succumb to the pitfalls of infantile sentimental motives to overprotect the counselee or to shrink unduly from fear of his disapproval. The counselor may achieve this in somewhat the same way that the emotionally mature parent encourages emotionally maturing child through the steady influence of the child´s personal strength and by his balanced attitudes in providing the child with the hand and the granting of opportunity for independence.
Marriage and Family Therapists are trained to diagnose and treat mental and emotional disorders within the context of marriage, couples and family systems, as well as assist clients in achieving more adequate, satisfying and productive marriage, family, and social adjustment. The practice also includes premarital counseling, child counseling, divorce or separation counseling and other relationship counseling (Jaffe & Segal, 2007).
Jaffe & Segal point out that the therapist is usually someone trained to listen deeply, reflect empathically, offer insight, provide feedback, and help the person explore alternatives (2007).
Some therapists have specialized training in marriage counseling. A marriage counselor usually sees both members of the couple together, though some will occasionally also see each person individually. The goals of a marriage or relationship counselor are generally to help the couple:
improve communication patterns
develop empathic, active listening skills
improve problem-solving skills
resolve conflicts in ways that meet the needs of both partners
explore ways for curing old wounds (from this or previous relationships)
if possible, find ways to stay together in a positive and mutually satisfying relationship
if not possible to stay together, then to separate in a healthy and respectful way
(Jaffe & Segal, 2007).
2.1.3.3 Steps in marriage counseling
Many types of emotional and physical problems are treated within a relationship context. Increasingly, professionals are finding that treatment of most problems can be more effectively accomplished and maintained if the client´s and significant others are involved in the treatment process. The field is beginning to deal with individuals at all stages of a relationship ranging from those beginning their relationship (pre-marital counseling) to those terminating their relationship (divorce counseling) and to those forming new family structures (custody resolution counseling) (Olson et al, 1980).
Let us see below the nature and goals of pre-marital, in-marriage and post-marital counseling.
Step 1. Pre-marital counseling
Pre-marital period is an opportunity for personal growth and development and the need for marriage partners to have a clear-cut, realistic sense of self-identity. The anxiety associated with striving for closeness with another person and the sexual complications both inside and outside the parental home is seen as providing an almost universal readiness to accept psychotherapeutic intervention by premarital couples.
The goals of premarital counseling are:
to test growth and growth potential of each partner
to encourage the development of communication skills, and
to expose areas of stress and develop the problem solving skills
(Rutledge, 1967).
Besides, beginning a new family is also emphasized. The orientation here is tradition of family life education than that of marriage counseling. In marriage counseling everything from the wedding and honeymoon through love, sex, and children, relations with parental families, finances, religion, and attitudes toward divorce and remarriage are covered (Rutledge, 1967). Lemessa (2007) reported that: daballe learns of fundamental unit of human society about family. Through any means dabballee learns the types, basic criteria and goals of marriage. A girl is prepared to marry. She learns into being good wife. Before marriage, girls learn in-depth as no sex besides feminine roles. During marriage, a girl is thought how to live with her husband, parent-inlaw, and neighbors. Regarding to male, he is initiated to have own property. Thus, a boy understands what a matured person can do as individual and as a member of a community.
Step 2. In marriage/Post-marriage counseling
All couples have conflicts or disagreements at times. The difference between a happily married (or otherwise committed) couple and an unhappy union most frequently involves the ability to discuss and resolve those differences in a positive manner that respects the interests and needs of each individual.
In relationship, common unhealthy and damaging relationship communications usually include such interactions as hostility or verbal or physical attacks on the other person, put-downs, name-calling or other contempt for the partner, dragging old information or experiences into a current argument, defensive responses, withdrawal from a disagreement and escalating negativity in the relationship (Jaffe & Segal, 2007).
According to Habtamu(1998), the traditional view is that conflict is bad and avoidable. People who cause conflict are considered as deviants and troublemakers. Conflict is considered as evil, it should be avoided, or even be hidden. Scholars agree that resolving conflicts effectively is one of the hardest works in all human relations (Katz 1965; Coser 1967; Fisher1982 as cited in Habtamu 1998). However, at pre or in/post marriage, the most effective and psychologically satisfactory method is where differences are worked out to a mutually acceptable and optimal solution.
Step 3. Divorce counseling
Divorce, like marriage, is a complex process that proceeds in stages and work needs to be done to determine the intervention strategies most appropriate for particular families and circumstances.
Divorce is not universally approved or accepted as an institution in America, but is viewed as a solution for unbearable marital conflict. Emphasis tends to be placed on "happiness" in marriage while little is said of the unhappiness found in divorce (Fisher, 1973).
The 1970s witnessed the emergence of a new subspecialty, i.e. divorce therapy. It was stimulated in part by the large increase in the number of divorces during the past decade and the awareness that divorcing individuals need help uncoupling and dealing with this process. Brown (1976) as cited in Olson et al. (1980) state that while marital therapy often has operated on the implicit assumption of "saving marriages", it is perhaps a sign of the times that divorce therapy "…does not focus on improving the husband-wife relationship but on decreasing the function of the relationship with the goal of eventual dissolution of that relationship"
Divorce counseling is an answer to the personal and cultural needs of the divorcing and divorced population. It is a therapeutic process by which those who experience and continue to experience the pain and humiliation of divorce can be helped toward personal growth and adjustment, enabling them to move away from egocentricity toward altruism and desire to contribute to society. This process is divided into three phases: pre-divorce counseling, divorce counseling and post-divorce counseling (Fisher, ibid.).
In divorce counseling the focus is on the diminution and final dissolution of the marital relationship with concern for the intrapsychic needs of the individual spouses(s). The general goal of divorce counseling is for divorcing and divorced spouses to gain insight into and understanding of their personal and marital conflicts and difficulties, together with enough emotional strength to make decisions and deal more adequately and responsibly with the problems consequent to the dissolution of their marital relationship. Time and timing play an important role in the divorce process and therefore in the process of divorce counseling. Implications for the clients´ needs in divorce counseling are in a large part dependent on where the clients are in the divorce process. Therefore, time distinctions must be made within the emotional divorce, physical divorce, and legal divorce.
The marriage and divorce counselor is not a protagonist for or against a divorce, any more than he is for one spouse against the other. Yet he cannot take a stance of neutrality in which he assumes no responsibility for the decision. To do so is to permit inferences and implications by clients that the counselor does not intend. Rather, he is a catalyst whose purpose is to grips with their problems. The decision to divorce will ultimately be theirs. The only time the counselor makes a decision for divorce is when physical and emotional destruction continues despite efforts to the contrary (Fisher, ibid.).
2.1.3.4 Orientation and focus of marriage counseling
The increased demand for help has been partially met by large variety of professionals, including physicians, psychologists, sociologists, home-economists, ministers, social workers, and others. As a result, a growing body of theory is emerging, drawn from these fields (Stroup et al., 1959).
It is precisely because of its interdisciplinary nature and the variety of training and background of its practitioners that we find great difference in a definition of the marriage-counseling field. Each of these differences reflects a somewhat different framework (Stroup et al., 1959).
Stroup et al. (1959) stress that marriage counseling deals primarily with the relationship between two people. This means that it should be more psychologically or sociologically oriented. The sociological approach neither denies nor neglects psychological factors. The difference is one of emphasis, personality factors are seen in the context of the marital relationship and situation in which the family finds it in the field of psychology. Sociologically oriented counselors emphasize upon behavior or the problem and situation. They tend towards levels that are more inclusive. On the other hand, psychologically oriented counselors emphasis upon the individual, and learning. They tend towards less inclusive levels.
What is the major aim of the counselor? Who can be a counselee? What techniques does the counselor employ, and what contents? are answered under the sub-topics put below.
a) Goals
The goal of marriage counseling is the solution of a marital problem. Many of the couples who come to the counselor for help have acute and serious relationship problems. If they can be helped to make a more satisfactory adjustment to these problems, or to handle them better in their present situation, the counselor´s goal has been accomplished (Stroup et al., 1959). They emphasized that, the major goal of sociologically oriented counselors is solution of marital or premarital problem. However, personality reorganization is the major goal of psychologically oriented counselors.
b) Content and focus of interview
Content and focus of interview are marriage problems, educational resource, support, clarification on the conscious level, for sociologically oriented counselors; and personal problems, depth therapy, often bringing unconscious materials to the surface for psychologically oriented counselors. In addition, the former needs short-term contact while the later need long-term contact (Stroup et al., 1959).
It is valuable to distinguish between personal counseling and marriage counseling. Personal counseling deals with a number of personal problems that the client may bring to the counselor. Marriage counseling deals with the marital or pre-marital problems of a couple, focusing upon the role relationship between spouses or spouses to be. Personal counseling emphasizes the individual psychology. Marriage counseling emphasizes the sociological or socio-psychological aspect of individuals committed (Stroup et al., 1959).
c) Clients
From the previous discussion, it seems evident that the marriage counselor deals with people who have premarital or marital problems. Nevertheless, this does not say enough. Since the counselor is focusing upon reality factors in the marital relationship, it seems almost essential that both partners be involved in the helping process. If this is not possible, reality may be obscured by the emotions of the client and the process tends to take on the attributes of the more psychologically oriented personal counseling rather than dealing with the marital relationship (Stroup et al., 1959).
The greatest debate has been about the "normalcy" of the clients who present themselves for each help. Stroup et al. (1959) believe that there is a quantitative difference as well as quantitative or relative difference between the personality of the psychotic and the personality of the neurotic. The counselor should be equipped to recognize the former early in the counseling process so that he can make an appropriate referral.
In sum, relationship counseling as a discrete professional service is a recent phenomenon. Until the late 20th century, the work of relationship counseling was informally practiced by close friends, family, village or group elders. Today marriage mentoring mirrors those cultures before the relationships between the individuals can begin to materialize. It is important for all to recognize and acknowledge that everyone involved has a unique personality and background. Sometimes the individuals in the relationship adhere to different value systems. Institutional and societal variables: the social, religious, group and other collective factors which shape a person´s nature and behavior in the way it does must be recognized in the work of marriage counseling. This and the Oromo native model of marriage counseling will be discussed in the next section.
2.2. Related studies
In the first section of this chapter, different theoretical considerations are discussed. Since the aim of the chapter is to survey different thoughts and integrate those western models of marriage counseling with the native thoughts, it is imperative to assess related studies and map out some underlying tenets of the Oromo indigenous model, safuu, in this section while discussing the social organization of the community in the research area.
2.2.1. Types and formalities of Oromo marriage
Marriage is one of the most important rituals in Oromo culture. The custom of marriage differs in various parts of the world and every civilization produces a marriage pattern appropriate to itself (Ludlow, 1965, cited in Gemechu & Assefa., 2006). Among the Oromo society also the type, name and ceremonies differ to some degree from place to place. Generally, there are three types of marriage among the Oormo.
a) Formal marriage
This type of marriage has different names in different parts of Oromia: ´kadhaa´ (Nuro,1989), or fuudha baal-tokkee (Hussen 2000) around Arsi, ´cida´ (Lemmesa, 2007) around Showa, and ´Naqataa´ (Gemetchu & Assefa, 2006) in Wallaga. ´Kadhaa´ or ´naqataa´ is the most typical and prevalent form of marriage where the ceremony starts at the moment when marriage is first thought of and even continues after the marriage is concluded (Gemetchu & Assefa, 2006).
Traditionally, it is arranged by family and before the match takes place, they make sure that the girl´s family does not have members who are lepers, chawa-clan, crafts men such as tanner, potter etc. The groom´s parents research back seven generations to make sure that the families are not related by blood, to avoid haraamuu or incest taboo. Once this has been done, the boy´s parents then make contact with the girl´s parents through a mediator. The girl´s parents often impose conditions and the mediator will take the message to the boys parents. When the parents have reached an agreement, the man and woman get engaged (betrothed). The parent then set a wedding date and they meet all the wedding expenses (Nuro,1989, Gemechu & Assefa 2006).
b) Informal Marriage
i) Hawwii
According to Gemechu & Assefa (2006), this mode of marriage occurs when the boy happens to remain qeerroo (bachelor) for several reasons. Either because he is not handsome, or he is from a family of low social status, and therefore cannot pay the dowry. The boy has no consent of the family of the girl to wait long and to meet the financial and social demands of the girl´s parents. Sometimes, the girl´s mother is involved in arranging marriage of her daughter through hawwee. It is common among poor people. Youngsters resort to this kind of marriage after a lot of period of courtship that the boy approaches whom he thinks can keep secret to act on a go-between. There are places where the boy and the girl with their company can mostly wait each other. She signs an agreement saying that she was not taken against her will and she will be taken to one of the boy´s relatives until his parent prepares feast for marriage (Gemechu & Assefa2006, Nuro,1989), and that her parents are solemnly informed about her safety by elders.
ii) Buttaa/Butii
This type of marriage takes of the following two forms. The first is when the girl has consented she is induced to be abducted. The second is accomplished by compulsion without any prior knowledge of the abduction (unlike the first form) on the part of the girl (Gemechu & Assefa, 2006).
As Gemechu and Assefa point it out in their co-authored article on the Western Macca Oromo Marriage Style, marriage by abduction is taken as option when:
1) a boy falls in love and she is not aware at all.
2) a girl´s parent is affriad that their daoughter might agree to the proposed marriage,they consprice with the would be husband to take her by force.
3) a girl´s parent are unwilling to agree to the proposed marriage, abduction would be resorted by boy´s family to show that they have a power to take her by force evenif her parents refused (Gemechu & Assefa, 2006; Nuro, 1989).
This informal marriage was also observable among the Salale before the government intervention and the customary law became renewed in a way committed to preserving women´s right and security.
iii) Aseennaa
This type of marriage employs peaceful, but cunning means. According to Nuro (1989), when a girl could not get anybody who seeks her hand in marriage because she may be an ugly or her parent has an evil eye "as said to be" by the society, she chooses anyone whom she thinks would marry her. And she directly goes to his parent´s house. Gemechu & Assefa (2006) also explained that, for a women to remain unmarried into her twenties is incomprehensible, though, she must go beyond herself, called aseennaa. Therefore, when a girl is left unmarried or when her father wants to give her to some one whom she does not like, she chooses unmarried young man and runs a way to his house withought the knoweledge of the man mostly in the evening.
iv) Conditional marriage
This type of marriage depends on the occurrence of certain incidents.
a) Dhaala
Dhaala is a type of marriage between a women and a brother of a deceased husband or levirate (Gemechu & Assefa 2006). Among such a patrilineal community where marriage secures children to perpetuate the father´s line, it is usual for widow to be inherited by a brother of a deceased husband (Nuro,1989).
b) Mambeeto (manbeeto)
Its conditionality is the death of one´s wife. The younger sister or relative of the late wife would be given to the widower as soon as the first wife dies (Nuro, 1989). It is known as manbeeto or mambeeto among Arsi. Among the Oromo of Tulama and Macca it is known as hirpha, literally, to ´compensate´.
2.2.2 Common causes of divorce in Ethiopia and arbitration
One study clearly shows that the common causes for divorce throughout the country Ethiopia are poverty, lack of property and income, jealousy, not bearing children (being barren), sexual incompatibility, interference of in-laws and relatives (Habtamu, 1998).
The Ethiopian Family Law article 76 states conditions of decision for divorce as follows:
Marriage shall dissolve by divorce where:
a) the spouse have agreed to divorce by mutual consent and such agreement is accepted by the court;
b) the spouses or one of them made a petition, for divorce, to the court.
Article 83, sub article 2 & 3 states that, where the spouses are not willing to agree or have failed to agree, the court shall, by itself, or through arbitrators, or experts appointed by it or, by other means if thinks appropriate, decide on the conditions of divorce. Then the conditions of divorce agreed upon by the spouses or decided by arbitrators or experts shall be submitted to the court for approval.
Accordiing to Habtamu(1998) major causes of conflicts and divorce in Ethiopia include: misuse of family income ,inability to support the family, adultery, being sterile (being barren, not getting along, jealousy, sexual incompatibility, interference of in laws and relatives, rumors and gossips, and lack of love between the partners.
According to Habtamu (1998), various factors such as ethnicity, religion, education level, culture and other variables will play some role on the strategy a family/community uses to resolve conflicts. Usually arbitration/mediation involves consultation, gathering of facts, opinions, and discussions, reaching to some compromise and setting some conditions (limitations) on the parties involved
The same researcher explains that the roles that elders play in all ethnic groups in resolving conflicts are vast. Hence, this broad based institutions of arbitration need to be improved (strengthened) in line with the socio-economic development of the country and respecting equal rights of men and women.
The Ethiopian Civil Code (Ethiopian Government, 1960) stipulates that the spouses have to go to elders to settle their disputes. In a country where about 60% of the population is illiterate, 85% rural, access to court or marriage counseling is limited, the arbitration by elders is very important. Habtamu rightly argues that traditional institution needs some changes with respect to the individual´s autonomy, the view which the present researcher shares, while strengthening what it is deficient in (Habtamu, 1998).
On the whole, the researcher strongly believes that in such a non-literate society where traditional institutions and modernization are not only competitive but also cooperative, it is essential to follow closely and facilitate for the viability of workable traditional practices as long as development and human betterment is not impaired.
In what is to follow, those theoretical considerations reviewed under the first section of this chapter (2.1) and the related studies assessed in the second section (2.2) will be discussed side by side to create a modest but clear understanding of the multidisciplinary nature of such a study.
2.3 The ´scientific´ and the ´traditional´
It has become a common knowledge that traditional concepts are essential backgrounds for African indigenous knowledge. Lemmesa (2007) describes that African indigenous education is based on communalism, cooperation, group work, observation, initiation, folktales, proverbs, riddles, legends, music, songs, community improvement, practical value and oral literature. On the other hand, modern education is based on individualism, individual freedom, individualized inquiry, discovery method, and learner centered. However, traditional ideas are being abandoned modified or colored (Salia-Bao, 1989 cited in Lemmesa, 2007).
Mlambo (2006) as cited in Lemmesa (2007) argues that "Western social sciences or sociology of ideas, in combination with science and capitalism, have led to the domination and marginalization of African continent through imposing alien world view, institution and practices on African societies, being dismissive of African knowledge, cultures and institutions and promoting Western ones"(P.176).
The same researcher further states that Africans are still marginalized and subjected to Western paradigms, research methods, knowledge production and dissemination and the measures of what should be regarded as authoritative scholarship (p.175).
By the same token, African traditional counselor does not exist in the dictionary of Western practice. If recognized at all, he is referred to as a local herbalist, a divinatory or, at best, an adviser whose technique and procedures are unorthodox and unscientific (Olu,1978). To this end, the author goes on to say, an African traditional counselor remains an enigma to Western society, whereas, the majority of Africans who live both in village community setting (not rural) and in urban areas regard him highly in the performance of counseling services. They sometimes call him a demi-god and they believe whole heartedly in his practice and therapy.
Claude Levi-Strauss (1972) argues that magic and science are "two parallel modes of acquiring knowledge". According to him, in the nominal and classificatory systems of primitive societies is to be found a logical categorical ability. But it is in his concept of oral or mythical thought as "intellectual bricolage" that he reveals the true direction of his thought. In this regard, the characteristic feature of mythical thought is that it expresses itself by means of a heterogeneous repertoire which, even if extensive, is nevertheless limited. It has to use this repertoire, however, whatever the task in hand because it has nothing else at its disposal (p17).
In this thought pattern, lets compare the ´bricoleur´ and the scientist for the sake of convenience. The "bricoleur" is perceptual, while the scientist is conceptual; the scientist opens up new possibilities of knowledge by extension or renewal, while the bricoleur conserves knowledge only by reorganization; the scientist creates events by means of structures, thus changing the world, while the bricoleur creates structures by means of events. Admittedly, all cultures have these alternative thought processes as the mythical, the bricolage, and indeed, is not the necessary preserve of any culture. Still, what is of importance is the framework, the (con)textual condition of the study including the metaphoric import and the constitutive terms of the discourse, the narrative, which elaborates not mere mental forms but structures of social and cultural organization.
Under the serviceable idiom of science and magic, four basic positions can be roughly isolated, namely,
(a) that primitive (oral) thought is irrational, illogical, and unscientific;
(b) that it is rational and logic but not scientific;
(c) that it is rational but unscientific and illogical; and
(d) that it is as rational and logical within its own cultural context as the scientific in modern Western society.
In this regard, he rational is clearly separated conceptually from the logical and scientific, but in reality, many of the disputants have often used these terms interchangeably.
Robin Horton(1993) in the extensive exposition of the relations between African thought and Western science (1993, pp197-258) favorably argues in favor of the traditional mentality. In this view, traditional thought is rational and logical, often in ways analogous to scientific thought. This is the case for two good reasons.
One reason is that, models of scientific theory are a quest for unity, simplicity, order, and regularity underlying the apparent diversity, complexity, disorder, and anomaly that characterize the universe of phenomena. Robin Horton rightly argues that African thought also seeks this order through the structure of the pantheon (group of people in the field of knowledge) and the categorical relations of its spiritual forces. As scientific thought seeks causal explanations, so does African thought—for example, the causal connection between social conduct and states of disease.
The second reason is this: the two forms of thought, i.e. the scientific and the traditional, employ similarly different levels of theory (low and high) to cover respectively narrow or wide areas of experience. Both operate by first breaking up and then reintegrating objects and experiences (abstraction, analysis / interpretation, and integration). While this similarity of theoretical procedure does not turn traditional African thought into a species of the scientific, it nevertheless demonstrates its rationality.
Generally speaking, the scientific is regarded as the most characteristic Western model of thought, just as the religious is regarded as the most characteristic model of traditional (non-Western) thought, a comparative analysis is felt possible on cross-cultural grounds.
In this chapter, an attempt is made to review the existing models of marriage counseling and examine closely the traditional institutions serve as a model of marriage counseling in line with modern counseling. Traditional marriage-counseling practices will be scrutinized closely in the chapters three and four along the lines of the eclectic approach set and then the result of the study will be synthesized.
Note
Picture: Incestuous Marriage and the Only Begotten son; an enquiry into the realm of the sacred amongst the Boran of Ethiopia and Kenya (from the website:
http://www.vr.se/huvudmeny/forskningvistodjer/humanioraochsamhallsvetenskap/slutfordaprojekt20012005/shakespeareiboranaland.4.12d0b1b510b193dbac18000897.html)
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