Karen Putz and "Deaf Mom World" Wake Up Internet Community to Parenting, Role Models and Acceptance with Slice of Real Life
Pam Vetter
June 10, 2008
There are times when Karen turns off her hearing aids for a little quiet at home, "Oh yes, my hearing aids are off right now. Sometimes I play music when I write, and sometimes I prefer the total silence without my hearing aids. My kids can still bother me, because they come in and start signing. Hmmm, maybe I should develop some custom-crafted blinders for those times?"
While her writings are tongue-in-cheek and entertaining especially to parents, her other blog entries have resulted in worldwide attention.
When she was mistreated at the hands of an employee at a fast food drive thru that offered no accommodation for someone who was deaf, there was an Internet revolt against the Steak 'n Shake. Instead of serving her as a customer, the fast food employee threatened to call the police if she didn't leave. Why? Because she couldn't hear the intercom system in the drive thru as she is deaf. Her battle against Steak 'n Shake is far from over as she's encouraging long-term change for every drive thru.
"I am meeting with the Steak 'n Shake attorney in July. At this meeting, the manager will be there as well, supposedly to offer an apology in person. I am hoping that the corporation will install a system that provides access to deaf and hard of hearing customers beyond just slapping up a sign (which does nothing)."
While her supporters vow to fight the fast food debacle at other drive thru locations, Karen's intent on starting the website was not to incite an entire community. The way she writes, her stories create a bridge of acceptance as they connect far beyond people who are deaf and hard of hearing.
"I started the 'A Deaf Mom Shares Her World' in August of 2006, totally on a whim. I just wanted to share snippets of my life with family and friends and it blossomed into something more. I started the 'Jobs, Careers and Callings' website for my kids. I didn't have deaf and hard of hearing role models when I was growing up, so I wanted a place where they and other deaf/hard of hearing students could explore careers with deaf and hard of hearing people in various jobs."
Karen is a Deaf Mentor in the Illinois Early Intervention System, while she also is a freelance writer for www.disaboom.com and www.parentingsquad.com as well as her own websites www.deafmomworld.com and www.deafhhcareer.com.
She grew up hard of hearing but became deaf at the age of 19.
"It was actually very sudden. I was barefooting (waterskiing on my bare feet) and I turned to cross the wake. My foot got caught on the wake and I slammed into the water sideways, instead of doing a normal tuck and roll. For days, I thought I just had water in my ear, but I had gone profoundly deaf at that point. It was rough at first. I didn't share my story with many people. One afternoon, I started crying and my roommate was asking me what was wrong. 'I can't hear anymore,' I told her. But I didn't explain how it happened and she didn't understand why I was crying about it. Shortly after that, she moved out and I had another roommate who was much more empathetic. I didn't grieve much after that and that was because I was living on a co-ed floor with lots of other deaf and hard of hearing students. I was having fun connecting with so many people and embracing a new way of life. Classes were hard, because I didn't know American Sign Language. I tried using an FM system to understand the teachers, but it was useless. I ended up lip reading the interpreters and picking up signs."
When it comes to acceptance of people with disabilities, Karen has seen some things change while others have stayed the same.
"I see my kids having an easier time of getting their education with the use of interpreters, FM systems, better hearing aids and technology. But I see that we still have a long way to go to break down the worse barrier of all: attitudes. I still see my kids coming up against other kids who shun them because they are deaf or hard of hearing-- or they develop some friendships that are merely surface friendships," Karen explains. "This is why I feel so strongly that we need to do a better job educating kids in elementary school so that they grow up among people with disabilities and learn to value them as equals. At the same time, I recognize the importance of my kids having peers just like them, to communicate with and identify with. That's why we are always having sleepovers with deaf and hard of hearing kids from all over-- those friendships are very important to my kids."
Karen's long-term hope for diversity is, "to find ways to overcome the attitude barriers. I want my three kids to experience life to the fullest and know that they can pursue any dream that they want to."
In sharing her life with the world, Karen also recognizes the importance for people who are hard of hearing or deaf to share their stories. "The more we share our stories, the more we can connect with one another and understand each other's unique perspectives."
For people in the hearing community, she simply wants them to, "Spend some time with us, get to know us and see the person-- the whole person and not just the disability."
With life as a mom, Karen looks back on many experiences with pure pride.
"I have several moments that stand out, but one that I really cherish is that I was able to help a friend give birth at home to her third baby. She had her two other children via cesarean and she asked me to be her doula for this birth. She labored all night off and on. By the morning, her labor finally started to pick up and the husband called the midwife. She moved into the birthing tub and I could see that the baby was moving down. The midwife walked in just as I asked the husband if he was ready to catch the baby. A few pushes later, she had a beautiful baby girl. I will never forget the look on her face as she brought her baby up and out of the water. Definitely a cherished memory for me."
As a parent, when it comes to tips on organization for other busy moms, Karen answers that issue with a direct, "Oh lordy, you're asking the wrong person!"
For a healthy dose of reality visit Karen Putz at www.deafmomworld.com.
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