Is Your Child in Trouble?

You know your child better than anyone else…or at least you think that you do. So when your youngster seems to suddenly transform into a stranger, what has happened? It´s true that the precious baby you brought home and the bubbly, inquisitive, ever-playful toddler you loved to cuddle will grow and change and become more independent of you. This is a necessary part of the maturing process, and while you may miss their younger years, there´s no reason to worry.

A sudden change in musical or fashion tastes may be bewildering, but by itself probably doesn´t signal any real trouble. (Remember your early musical idols and the strange clothing fads you wore that didn´t seem so bizarre when all of your friends wore the same thing?) As a parent, you probably already draw the line at excessively angry, hateful music lyrics and overly provocative clothes that could attract predators or send negative messages when out in public. But aside from this, when do you have legitimate cause for concern? Here are some signs that should serve as red flags of warning that greater interventions are required.

Erratic Behavior

Surging hormones and the inevitable identity crises of puberty are all part of growing up. As young people carve out their own individuality separate from that of their parents´, and seek an answer to the proverbial question, "Who AM I?" they could clash more frequently with those around them. They may be happy one minute and sullen the next. Even this is normal. However, if your child starts reacting violently, either at home or at school, clearly something is seriously wrong. If your child no longer takes pleasure in participating in activities that once mattered more than anything else, there´s no problem unless the change is very abrupt and also accompanied by an intense emotional outburst, such as tears or anger, when the subject is raised. Find out what´s going on!

Loss of Coordination, Glazed Eyes, and Slurred Speech

Without question, only two things can explain these symptoms. The first is that the person in question has suffered a stroke or a seizure. The second is that this person is inebriated. Both situations require immediate action. If your child is intoxicated, your first duty is to keep them from leaving the house until sober, for their own safety and the safety of others. Once they are coherent, find out what they were taking and where they obtained it. If they were found unconscious, and taken to a hospital, medical testing will be able to provide a toxicology report. Encourage them to seek help, if addicted, and at least undergo counseling to learn how to avoid future dependency. Help in any way you can, but let them know that they must want to help themselves, in order to successfully change for the better.

Persistent Sadness and Withdrawal from Others

Any child showing these signs for more than two weeks without interruption is clearly depressed. A change in eating habits and/or grooming has probably also been noticed. If so, something, or a combination of things, has triggered these changes. Your job is to find out what. These symptoms are silent, although very "loud" cries for help. Talk to your child. No matter what he or she tells you, let them know that you love them and are on their side.

Honor Student to Dropout

If your consistently top-notch student suddenly loses interest in school with grades in two or more classes plummeting, take heed! Straight A´s simply don´t turn into D´s overnight. Sit down with him or her and find out what´s happening in your child´s life.

Whatever it happens to be, let him or her know that you´re willing not only to help, but to listen as well. Refuse to accept "Leave me alone!" or "Nothing!" as acceptable answers. If they won´t talk to you, find another trusted adult with whom they will talk. Seek professional help if they need it.

Drastic Social Changes

Friends and companions can and sometimes should, change a bit by the time your child leaves high school. Nevertheless, if your child´s associates suddenly are vastly different in negative ways from those they used to spend time with, this is usually a very bad sign. It´s even more telling if they now avoid or shun their old friends for no readily apparent reason. Young people recruited by gangs are often discouraged from associating with non-members. Gang affiliations aside, if these new friends are a bad influence, your child will exhibit negative behaviors while with them or shortly after leaving their presence. Blatant, sudden disregard for curfews, household rules, and even family members are also significant. Involve your child in extracurricular activities that will provide them with a new focus while separating them from these "friends" and make it easier for them to find new companions. A new school could also be considered, if feasible.

Finding Unusual Possessions

Discovering drugs, whether prescription, over-the-counter, or illegal narcotics that you had no idea that your child was using calls for immediate address. The same can be said for condoms, birth control devices, cigarettes, alcohol, and drug paraphernalia of any kind. Recently, even glue, industrial products, and cleaning supplies have been used as inhalants (known among teens as "huffing") by kids seeking to get "high"-- often with fatal results. Finding these in your child´s room, pockets, or belongings is just as serious as finding a weapon. More than a red flag, this is a screaming siren!

Legal Troubles

Finally, if your child has been arrested at least once, this is clear indication that the situation is rapidly careening beyond the scope of your reach. By the time law enforcement becomes involved two or more times, your child has become society´s problem and the courts will soon decide his or her future. Repeated run-ins with legal authorities can never be overlooked as "just a phase". There may still be hope, but only if drastic measures are taken and your child still cares enough to save himself or herself. Only so many chances are given to legal offenders. Don´t let time run out. Intervene while you still can.