Searching for the dream: Page 5
Bhumika Ghimire
February 27, 2006
Freedom
During the time I was yearning for my freedom, Nepal was also going through the same process. People were in a struggle to restore multi-party democracy, constitutional monarchy. The year was 1990, I had just started my life as a boarding school inmate. Right infront of my school was the police headquarters, prime target of the protestors.So evenings were filled with listening to the protestor's slogans and watching them beaten up by the police.
Not a fun thing, but very powerful, especially the images. People running away from water cannons, tear gas shells.For a kid all of this was like watching a movie in real time, I was very much shaken and touched deep within.The incident sparked a life long interest in politics.I heard stories about the excesses comitted by the royal family and those in power.They were very strong and disturbing, I believe it was this whole exposure to the freedom struggle that chipped away parts of my childhood innocence and made me a girl from a kid . Now when I look at my cousins who are in 3 grade, I am surprised. I cannot put me as a 3 grade student into the place where they are.They seem much too kid like and innocent, remembering the things that came into my mind then and hearing what girls talk about nowdays, makes me feel that I aged far too early. Keeping up the aging pace, I should be 80 right now.
Luckly my aging process slowed down after I turned 20.I think I slowed it down, realizing that I am far behind the teen girls in achievement and experience. I saw all these girls barely 16 17 working on TV shows, newspapers, getting all the media attention.People praising them for doing so much so young.Then looking at myself I saw a woman with nothing.I actually felt old at 20!! so I decided I am not going beyond 20 unless I do somehting great, something big.
I drees like a teen, talk like teen and thanks to my genes, still manage to look like teen. So all the age questions, I defelect by saying " How old do I look"? and give my best smile when they say 19 or 20.But then I did confess that I am 24 at the beginning?I did not break my promise of not aging unless I do something great.Now don't give me that look, you are probably thinking what did I do..? No one has heard of me?
Unfortunately that is right.I am a nobody.A 24 year old day labour with $5,000 student loan who has a family to look after. Making just $600 a month, barely surviving, I thank the exchange rate every day.One dollar is 70 Nepali rupees, so I am still hopeful of being able to suport my family.But that does not make me great,there are thousands of people who do the same, and without complaining ,unlike me.What makes me great, atleast of myself, is the fact that I have realized my short comings and I am willing to start fresh and still have positive hopes for future.I have faced all the problems in the past with positive attitude, keeping up my hopes for future. For a girl who was an academic disaster, I have a MBA with honours. So yes, I have acheievd something.I have reached some where, no more ashamed with my age.From now on whoever asks me, I give them the real number, lets hear one for graceful aging.
Continued..
(fictional account, any resemblance to a person is coincidence)
Copyright:Bhumika Ghimire,2006.
During the time I was yearning for my freedom, Nepal was also going through the same process. People were in a struggle to restore multi-party democracy, constitutional monarchy. The year was 1990, I had just started my life as a boarding school inmate. Right infront of my school was the police headquarters, prime target of the protestors.So evenings were filled with listening to the protestor's slogans and watching them beaten up by the police.
Not a fun thing, but very powerful, especially the images. People running away from water cannons, tear gas shells.For a kid all of this was like watching a movie in real time, I was very much shaken and touched deep within.The incident sparked a life long interest in politics.I heard stories about the excesses comitted by the royal family and those in power.They were very strong and disturbing, I believe it was this whole exposure to the freedom struggle that chipped away parts of my childhood innocence and made me a girl from a kid . Now when I look at my cousins who are in 3 grade, I am surprised. I cannot put me as a 3 grade student into the place where they are.They seem much too kid like and innocent, remembering the things that came into my mind then and hearing what girls talk about nowdays, makes me feel that I aged far too early. Keeping up the aging pace, I should be 80 right now.
Luckly my aging process slowed down after I turned 20.I think I slowed it down, realizing that I am far behind the teen girls in achievement and experience. I saw all these girls barely 16 17 working on TV shows, newspapers, getting all the media attention.People praising them for doing so much so young.Then looking at myself I saw a woman with nothing.I actually felt old at 20!! so I decided I am not going beyond 20 unless I do somehting great, something big.
I drees like a teen, talk like teen and thanks to my genes, still manage to look like teen. So all the age questions, I defelect by saying " How old do I look"? and give my best smile when they say 19 or 20.But then I did confess that I am 24 at the beginning?I did not break my promise of not aging unless I do something great.Now don't give me that look, you are probably thinking what did I do..? No one has heard of me?
Unfortunately that is right.I am a nobody.A 24 year old day labour with $5,000 student loan who has a family to look after. Making just $600 a month, barely surviving, I thank the exchange rate every day.One dollar is 70 Nepali rupees, so I am still hopeful of being able to suport my family.But that does not make me great,there are thousands of people who do the same, and without complaining ,unlike me.What makes me great, atleast of myself, is the fact that I have realized my short comings and I am willing to start fresh and still have positive hopes for future.I have faced all the problems in the past with positive attitude, keeping up my hopes for future. For a girl who was an academic disaster, I have a MBA with honours. So yes, I have acheievd something.I have reached some where, no more ashamed with my age.From now on whoever asks me, I give them the real number, lets hear one for graceful aging.
Continued..
(fictional account, any resemblance to a person is coincidence)
Copyright:Bhumika Ghimire,2006.
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