Searching the dream: Fictional Account of real life
Bhumika Ghimire
February 25, 2006
Page 1:Starting Out
Ok I have started the journey to recollect all the 24 years of my life. At this juncture I am nervous, my mind is full of doubts. Will I be able to remember everything? Will I be able to be true? These questions will be with me throughout this journey, keeping me aware.
So shall we begin?..Yes.Year 2005, November 2, lets start from this day. That is today. This is the day remember most vividly because the day is with me. I still have half of the day to live and I have the night to recollect whatever happened or did not happen during the day. Unlike the days of the past I can make this day go the way I want. I can skip my work, which I hate anyway. I can work on the essay which I have always wanted to write but never started. All this thoughts about today gives me a sense of power, sense of control. I feel secure, but when I think about the past I don’t feel the same way. I feel as if I have lost those days. I cannot change them, I can make them the way I want. They have escaped from me.
A day after Laxmi Puja, the day we Hindus worship goddess Laxmi, the goddess of wealth and prosperity, I am staring at my bank statement which say $10.00 only and credit card bill which says $2,000 (only, forgot to mention that). Obviously the goddess is not very happy with me. I have never had enough money in these 24 years, where I could just forget about the bills and due date and enjoy life. Money and myself have been kind of foes, both don't like each other. I am weary about money because even after having a MBA with honors I have not had a decent job. All I got was a failing retail place where I break my back and get $7.00 an hour. Student loans, credit card debts all stay as they are as I try to make through the month will $300. Yesterday I spent around 20 dollars to celebrate the festival, hoping that I will get some kind of favour from the goddess. But I know that its not going to happen because I do not have a good vibe with the Brahma too. The god who created this world and me. He gave this life to me which is messed up in every way, so even if Laxmi decides to favour me she is out of luck.
Continued:...
(I wrote this novel sometimes back but like many other freelancers with limited means, could not publish it. So I am posting it here. Each day a chapter will posted.)
Ok I have started the journey to recollect all the 24 years of my life. At this juncture I am nervous, my mind is full of doubts. Will I be able to remember everything? Will I be able to be true? These questions will be with me throughout this journey, keeping me aware.
So shall we begin?..Yes.Year 2005, November 2, lets start from this day. That is today. This is the day remember most vividly because the day is with me. I still have half of the day to live and I have the night to recollect whatever happened or did not happen during the day. Unlike the days of the past I can make this day go the way I want. I can skip my work, which I hate anyway. I can work on the essay which I have always wanted to write but never started. All this thoughts about today gives me a sense of power, sense of control. I feel secure, but when I think about the past I don’t feel the same way. I feel as if I have lost those days. I cannot change them, I can make them the way I want. They have escaped from me.
A day after Laxmi Puja, the day we Hindus worship goddess Laxmi, the goddess of wealth and prosperity, I am staring at my bank statement which say $10.00 only and credit card bill which says $2,000 (only, forgot to mention that). Obviously the goddess is not very happy with me. I have never had enough money in these 24 years, where I could just forget about the bills and due date and enjoy life. Money and myself have been kind of foes, both don't like each other. I am weary about money because even after having a MBA with honors I have not had a decent job. All I got was a failing retail place where I break my back and get $7.00 an hour. Student loans, credit card debts all stay as they are as I try to make through the month will $300. Yesterday I spent around 20 dollars to celebrate the festival, hoping that I will get some kind of favour from the goddess. But I know that its not going to happen because I do not have a good vibe with the Brahma too. The god who created this world and me. He gave this life to me which is messed up in every way, so even if Laxmi decides to favour me she is out of luck.
Continued:...
(I wrote this novel sometimes back but like many other freelancers with limited means, could not publish it. So I am posting it here. Each day a chapter will posted.)
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