How to Deal with the Death of a Friend
Corinne Casazza
May 06, 2008
When a close or best friend dies, it can be an especially traumatic experience. You have lost a close confidant and at the same time you may be reminded of your own mortality. If the death was sudden, you may also be feeling shock and disbelief, or you may even feel guilty that your friend has died while you´re still alive.
"It is quite natural to feel strong emotion when someone close dies," says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and Director of Training at Sedona Training Associates. "Give yourself permission to have your emotions without rushing into any kind of self-examination or process."
Disbelief
Yearning
Anger
Depression
Acceptance
However, at any stage of your grieving process, you can use The Sedona Method to help you let go of the pain you are feeling.
"It is quite natural to feel strong emotion when someone close dies," says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and Director of Training at Sedona Training Associates. "Give yourself permission to have your emotions without rushing into any kind of self-examination or process."
You can also expect to enter into the "five stages of grief," which were recently confirmed by a study in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) as the typical grieving process in most people. These stages include:
However, at any stage of your grieving process, you can use The Sedona Method to help you let go of the pain you are feeling.
"When you are ready to let go," Dwoskin says, "simply use any of the basic tools of The Sedona Method. If you are letting go, often you can genuinely skip or radically compress the stages of grief."
How to Use The Sedona Method to Let Go of Grief
Whenever you find yourself yearning for your lost friend, wishing you could change the situation or fretting over your own mortality, ask yourself one of these questions:
- Could I let this feeling go?
- Could I allow this feeling to be here?
- Could I welcome this feeling?
- Would I let it go?
- When?
Your answer may be either yes or no, it doesn´t particularly matter. But once you have answered, ask yourself:
The purpose of this is to determine if you are willing to let the feeling go. Do not debate whether or not you should let it go, simply remember that you are doing this process for yourself -- for the purpose of gaining your own freedom and clarity. Whether your answer is ultimately yes or no, move on to question #3.
This is an invitation to just let the negative feeling go NOW.
Repeat these three questions until you feel free of that particular feeling.
"Remember, release not only on missing the person but also on the feelings it brings up about your apparent mortality," Dwoskin says. "Every body does die, however what you are is birthless, deathless and ever present."
Finally, when you are able to move past your grief, you will find that you feel closer to your friend.
"The grief you may be feeling does not tie you to your lost friend," Dwoskin says. "Once you are ready, letting go of the grief will actually help you to feel closer to them and open your heart to deeper love."
To learn more about the transformative Sedona Method, please visit our web site at www.sedona.com
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