Six ways to free your soul
Adele R. McDowell, Ph.D.
April 24, 2008
I wonder what´s going on with the planets and such, maybe it´s the new birthing energies of spring, but, boy howdy; it has been one of those weeks at the psychology office.
This week, there are people, and, yes, I mean people plural, not simply a single individual, who have felt unable to return to their work place. They are burnt out, miserable and stressed. Everything they have so carefully and so responsibly held inside has burst forth, and they are flooded with raging emotions.
It has been a week when, almost without exception, every single person has expressed a desire to be free, out of their respective mess, be it job, relationship, conflict with self, medical morass and the like. Unhappiness is blooming, just like all those spring flowers.
From a psychological point of view, this certainly can be individuation, i.e., be your own person, energies. Years ago, I remember hearing the somewhat surprising fact that there are more psychiatric hospitalizations in the spring than over the Christmas holidays. So, clearly, spring calls a soul forward, and many souls respond with a moan and a cry that says, "Get me the hell out of here" -- and that "here" is open to individual interpretation.
You might be asking yourself, "How does this happen? Where does this soul business of getting stuck and unable to move come from?"
Here´s my answer: We get busy. We are human. We get lost in the automatic and robotic ruts of life and neglect to listen to the inner peanut gallery that needs a day at the beach, a night of music, a weekend of quiet, an article of beauty or a satisfying read.
It happens. We get preoccupied. We do our thing. There are errands, chores, kids, parents, bills -- life. And the days morph into months and the months become years. We ignore those repeated small cries of protest that bubble up when we take a minute to breathe. We promise ourselves we will create the space and take the time later.
And then whammo, all hell breaks loose. Your soul has found a megaphone and is making it perfectly clear that now is the time for you to pay attention. There is no more later; you must deal it with it now.
And so the struggle begins.
You don´t have time. You have responsibilities. Others depend on you. It would be selfish. You find yourself becoming more stressed, more conflicted because now you are battling with you: the you that screams for a certain kind of freedom, the you that wants to let go of everything that weighs you down and slows you up.
As a kid, I had a kind of puzzle toy. It was made of woven straw that was cylindrical in shape, like a drinking straw, but with a larger diameter. I would put the index finger of my right hand into one end of the straw, do the same with my left index finger, and, lo and behold, my fingers were stuck. And I did it to myself.
The soul stuckness is a bit like that. And like the puzzle toy of my youth, we are called to extricate ourselves from the tightness that binds us. We are called to break free from the prison of restraints that we have unconsciously and, perhaps, even consciously, created.
Yes, we can—on some level—choose the deadening rut and, thereby, avoid, delay and procrastinate. If fear has you by the throat, this might be an appealing option, just continue the day-in, day-out drudgery. You can hold your soul at bay. You can find yourself growing more and more depressed, increasingly anxious or sink into ennui.
On the other hand, or, maybe I should say finger given my earlier reference to the puzzle, you can consider the road not taken, the road that has been forgotten as you have been busy doing that thing called life.
What would help you? How can you aid and abet this prison break for your soul?
Here are a few suggestions. They are not new, but, they are time test tested and honored for their effectiveness. And, hopefully, they will serve as reminders for you as you learn to let go of your personal constraints and move towards freedom.
1. Take a nap.
You´re exhausted. I know you are. So, stop, and allow yourself to rest.
Did I ever tell you the wisdom from a one mom who told me that 90% of the problems within her family were solved with a good night´s sleep and a decent meal? This mom is right. We often have to return to the basics of self-care just to find our center.
It takes courage to stop the wheels of motion and allow ourselves time to regroup and recoup, and as author, Sue Monk Kidd says, "Stopping is a spiritual art."
2. Get quiet.
Nap time notwithstanding, you also need time to be quiet and to stop the sensory overload. You need time to reconnect with you. There is so much thrown at you in a given day that it is hard to separate yourself from all of the incoming.
There is that anecdotal story that says the amount of information made available to the world today every five minutes is equivalent to the entire body of knowledge during the Renaissance. True or not, we do live in the Information Age, and it can be very overwhelming.
Consider the words of the poet Rumi: "Let the waters settle, you will see stars and moon mirrored in your Being." Isn´t that a lovely thought? Think of our individual celestial bits surfacing in our psyche.
3. Pay attention.
Our souls do communicate with us. They tell us what thrills and delights them. They nudge us with signs and symbols along the way.
Ever have a book fall into your hands or at your feet, a book that turns out to be the perfect book for you at the moment? Ever gifted with a CD and there is one song that sings to your soul and you play repeatedly? Ever find your personal symbology being paraded in front of you with constant sighting of blue herons or lilies or specific times on a clock?
Carl Jung once said, "Whatever crosses my path violently or suddenly I attribute to God." The liminal world abounds with magic and mystery. We can choose to be Muggles (a la Harry Potter´s non-magical world), or we can choose to attend to the messages swimming just under the radar waiting for our connection.
4. Get passionate.
The juiciness of life, high voltage enthusiasm and deeply felt emotions speak to getting in touch with the rock ´n roll of your soul. Simply stated, if you are passionate about what you do, you are most likely listening to the desires of your soul.
To illustrate my point, I turn over the mike to poet Pablo Neruda: "I hunger for your sleek laugh and your hands the color of a furious harvest. I want to eat the sunbeams flaring in your beauty." Don´t the words reverberate in your body? Can´t you feel their intensity? That, my friend, is soul music.
5. Accept yourself.
Numerologist extraordinaire, Christine DeLorey, wrote, "Struggle is the painful result of reality being denied." Isn´t that great? She is wise, and she makes me laugh, because it is so true.
How long does it take for us humans to finally accept all parts of ourselves, to forgive our transgressions and gaffes and to operate from compassion?
We struggle and struggle and struggle because there is some point, some facet, some aspect that we refuse to accept or forgive. We can be so hard on ourselves.
Our soul yearns for reconciliation of the warring parts. Our soul yearns, like a potted violet on a window sill, for light and growth.
6. Listen and trust.
Trust your soul´s inclinations and allow yourself to unfold like the tight bud of a rose. See yourself unfolding, petal by petal, into your full bloom. There is no one else like you on the planet; there is no one with your exact DNA and your exact backpack of experiences.
Your soul calls for you to remember who you are and to walk into your magnificence.
It´s time. The world needs you.
"You´ve got a good heart. Run with it. Your whole life you´ve been afraid of yourself." And so said a character in Barbara Kingsolver´s novel, Pigs in Heaven.
My friend, you´ve got a good soul. Run with it.
This week, there are people, and, yes, I mean people plural, not simply a single individual, who have felt unable to return to their work place. They are burnt out, miserable and stressed. Everything they have so carefully and so responsibly held inside has burst forth, and they are flooded with raging emotions.
It has been a week when, almost without exception, every single person has expressed a desire to be free, out of their respective mess, be it job, relationship, conflict with self, medical morass and the like. Unhappiness is blooming, just like all those spring flowers.
From a psychological point of view, this certainly can be individuation, i.e., be your own person, energies. Years ago, I remember hearing the somewhat surprising fact that there are more psychiatric hospitalizations in the spring than over the Christmas holidays. So, clearly, spring calls a soul forward, and many souls respond with a moan and a cry that says, "Get me the hell out of here" -- and that "here" is open to individual interpretation.
You might be asking yourself, "How does this happen? Where does this soul business of getting stuck and unable to move come from?"
Here´s my answer: We get busy. We are human. We get lost in the automatic and robotic ruts of life and neglect to listen to the inner peanut gallery that needs a day at the beach, a night of music, a weekend of quiet, an article of beauty or a satisfying read.
It happens. We get preoccupied. We do our thing. There are errands, chores, kids, parents, bills -- life. And the days morph into months and the months become years. We ignore those repeated small cries of protest that bubble up when we take a minute to breathe. We promise ourselves we will create the space and take the time later.
And then whammo, all hell breaks loose. Your soul has found a megaphone and is making it perfectly clear that now is the time for you to pay attention. There is no more later; you must deal it with it now.
And so the struggle begins.
You don´t have time. You have responsibilities. Others depend on you. It would be selfish. You find yourself becoming more stressed, more conflicted because now you are battling with you: the you that screams for a certain kind of freedom, the you that wants to let go of everything that weighs you down and slows you up.
As a kid, I had a kind of puzzle toy. It was made of woven straw that was cylindrical in shape, like a drinking straw, but with a larger diameter. I would put the index finger of my right hand into one end of the straw, do the same with my left index finger, and, lo and behold, my fingers were stuck. And I did it to myself.
The soul stuckness is a bit like that. And like the puzzle toy of my youth, we are called to extricate ourselves from the tightness that binds us. We are called to break free from the prison of restraints that we have unconsciously and, perhaps, even consciously, created.
Yes, we can—on some level—choose the deadening rut and, thereby, avoid, delay and procrastinate. If fear has you by the throat, this might be an appealing option, just continue the day-in, day-out drudgery. You can hold your soul at bay. You can find yourself growing more and more depressed, increasingly anxious or sink into ennui.
On the other hand, or, maybe I should say finger given my earlier reference to the puzzle, you can consider the road not taken, the road that has been forgotten as you have been busy doing that thing called life.
What would help you? How can you aid and abet this prison break for your soul?
Here are a few suggestions. They are not new, but, they are time test tested and honored for their effectiveness. And, hopefully, they will serve as reminders for you as you learn to let go of your personal constraints and move towards freedom.
1. Take a nap.
You´re exhausted. I know you are. So, stop, and allow yourself to rest.
Did I ever tell you the wisdom from a one mom who told me that 90% of the problems within her family were solved with a good night´s sleep and a decent meal? This mom is right. We often have to return to the basics of self-care just to find our center.
It takes courage to stop the wheels of motion and allow ourselves time to regroup and recoup, and as author, Sue Monk Kidd says, "Stopping is a spiritual art."
2. Get quiet.
Nap time notwithstanding, you also need time to be quiet and to stop the sensory overload. You need time to reconnect with you. There is so much thrown at you in a given day that it is hard to separate yourself from all of the incoming.
There is that anecdotal story that says the amount of information made available to the world today every five minutes is equivalent to the entire body of knowledge during the Renaissance. True or not, we do live in the Information Age, and it can be very overwhelming.
Consider the words of the poet Rumi: "Let the waters settle, you will see stars and moon mirrored in your Being." Isn´t that a lovely thought? Think of our individual celestial bits surfacing in our psyche.
3. Pay attention.
Our souls do communicate with us. They tell us what thrills and delights them. They nudge us with signs and symbols along the way.
Ever have a book fall into your hands or at your feet, a book that turns out to be the perfect book for you at the moment? Ever gifted with a CD and there is one song that sings to your soul and you play repeatedly? Ever find your personal symbology being paraded in front of you with constant sighting of blue herons or lilies or specific times on a clock?
Carl Jung once said, "Whatever crosses my path violently or suddenly I attribute to God." The liminal world abounds with magic and mystery. We can choose to be Muggles (a la Harry Potter´s non-magical world), or we can choose to attend to the messages swimming just under the radar waiting for our connection.
4. Get passionate.
The juiciness of life, high voltage enthusiasm and deeply felt emotions speak to getting in touch with the rock ´n roll of your soul. Simply stated, if you are passionate about what you do, you are most likely listening to the desires of your soul.
To illustrate my point, I turn over the mike to poet Pablo Neruda: "I hunger for your sleek laugh and your hands the color of a furious harvest. I want to eat the sunbeams flaring in your beauty." Don´t the words reverberate in your body? Can´t you feel their intensity? That, my friend, is soul music.
5. Accept yourself.
Numerologist extraordinaire, Christine DeLorey, wrote, "Struggle is the painful result of reality being denied." Isn´t that great? She is wise, and she makes me laugh, because it is so true.
How long does it take for us humans to finally accept all parts of ourselves, to forgive our transgressions and gaffes and to operate from compassion?
We struggle and struggle and struggle because there is some point, some facet, some aspect that we refuse to accept or forgive. We can be so hard on ourselves.
Our soul yearns for reconciliation of the warring parts. Our soul yearns, like a potted violet on a window sill, for light and growth.
6. Listen and trust.
Trust your soul´s inclinations and allow yourself to unfold like the tight bud of a rose. See yourself unfolding, petal by petal, into your full bloom. There is no one else like you on the planet; there is no one with your exact DNA and your exact backpack of experiences.
Your soul calls for you to remember who you are and to walk into your magnificence.
It´s time. The world needs you.
"You´ve got a good heart. Run with it. Your whole life you´ve been afraid of yourself." And so said a character in Barbara Kingsolver´s novel, Pigs in Heaven.
My friend, you´ve got a good soul. Run with it.
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