TEENAGERS 'CUTTING' THEMSELVES... NOT SCHOOL PART II 'A TESTIMONIAL'
Domingo Ivan Casaņas
February 17, 2006
Well, as you know by now, when I write an article I always get feedback from my readers. Sometimes they agree with my view point, other times they do not, other times they try to intimidate, other times they are grateful.
I am happy to report that the Teenagers "cutting" themselves article has brought the most readers emails to me. One particular one is from Wendi, a 21-year-old college student and a native of Ohio who wants to work with kids and teenagers in a mental or behavioral health setting in the near future. After being educated by Wendi on this cutting issue, I asked her to write an article based on her knowledge and prior experience with cutting. This is what Wendi has to say and I thank her very much for taking the time to educate my readers further:
Breaking the Silence ? An Insider?s Explanation of Self-Injury
We are male and female. We are Caucasian, African-American, European, Hispanic, Native American, and Asian. We are wealthy and poverty stricken. We are gay and straight, young and old. We are teachers, students, lawyers, criminals, parents, sons, and daughters. Many of us are victims of abuse, some of us have been diagnosed with such conditions as depression, manic-depressive disorder, and borderline personality disorder, and we all have a secret ? we hurt ourselves on purpose.
It is called self-injury, self-mutilation, or self-harm, and it is becoming dangerously prevalent among teenagers. An estimated 1% (the vast majority of which is female) of Americans engage in self-injury, which has been defined by leading authority Dr. Armando Favazza as ?deliberate alteration or destruction of body tissue without conscious suicidal intent? and can include (but is not limited to) cutting, burning, bruising, and hair-pulling. (Since cutting is the most common form of self-injury, that is what will be specifically addressed.)
I was a part of that statistic. Like many sufferers, I began cutting myself in my mid-teens and soon found myself addicted to the cathartic properties of self-injury and unable to leave it behind. It was my escape from things I didn?t want to feel and my wake-up call and reality check when I felt nothing at all. Now, at age 21 (and having made it through almost a year without cutting), my current ambition is to spread awareness and understanding about this growing problem, and to offer hope and encouragement to those who are stuck in it.
Why cut?
Those who self-injure do so for a variety of reasons. Some feel that it is the only thing in life that they can control. Others do it as a form of self-punishment. Still others feel that physical pain is easier to deal with than emotional pain or anger. Cutting, however, is almost always a symptom of another problem. Such problems could be memories from past abuse, feelings of no self-worth, pressure from families and friends to be perfect, and many others.
Cutting is about restoring equilibrium. When a great amount of (emotional) pain is felt inside, it may seem as if relief can only come by increasing the (physical) pain outside, equalizing inner and outer pressures.
It is also largely physiological. The act of self-injury (or any painful stimulation) results in the release of beta-endorphins and creates a ?reward? effect, which encourages the behavior and makes it addicting. The act itself reportedly brings a self-injurer?s levels of physical and psychological tension and arousal back to a bearable level. In the simplest terms ? it makes them feel better.
Dispelling the Myths
What to Look For
Concerned that someone you know may be cutting? Some things to watch for are unexplained (or poorly explained) cuts or scars, long sleeves and pants even on hot days, withdrawal from physical touch, talk of hurting oneself, or symptoms of depression.
Remember that this is a sensitive issue with most sufferers, and they will probably not willingly share information with you about it. Here are some suggestions on how to talk to a loved one about self-injury:
In Their Own Words ? What Self-Injurers Want You to Know - "I couldn?t handle the emotional pain, but the physical pain was something I could handle. I would also like people to know and understand that it is not a suicide attempt. My [school officials] thought I was trying to kill myself. I wasn't.? ? Jenny, age 17
Self harm is a way to quit feeling numb. It lets us know that we can still feel something even if that is physical. When we hurt ourselves, not many people see that we are hurting unless it?s revealed. It's just like any other addiction and it needs to be dealt with accordingly.? ? Olivia, 14
I would like therapists to understand that when they are treating people who are involved in self-harm, the focus should not be on 'stopping [self-injury]' but on learning healthier, more beneficial ways to cope, which can replace it. If no work is done on learning to cope with what caused the self harm in the first place, then there is a good chance the person will have difficulty not falling back into [self-injury].? ? Mareka, 19
Telling me to stop isn't the way to go about it, and trying to pressure me into stopping won't help me. Just love me. Support me. And be there for me if you want to help.? ? Angel, 18
For me sometimes, cutting is like a demon or something. I cut to try and get it out, but all I do instead is fuel its fire.? ? Cassie, 18
Maybe you?ve never been exposed to this growing issue, or maybe you?ve only heard of a few faraway teenagers engaging in such activities. Or maybe you have discovered that your own son or daughter has been self-injuring. Whichever case it may be, my hope is that awareness and understanding of this problem may increase.
If you?re a self-injurer reading this (and I know you?re out there), know that you are not alone. My hope for you is that you find someone you can talk to and trust, and that your healing is in the very near future.
I am happy to report that the Teenagers "cutting" themselves article has brought the most readers emails to me. One particular one is from Wendi, a 21-year-old college student and a native of Ohio who wants to work with kids and teenagers in a mental or behavioral health setting in the near future. After being educated by Wendi on this cutting issue, I asked her to write an article based on her knowledge and prior experience with cutting. This is what Wendi has to say and I thank her very much for taking the time to educate my readers further:
Breaking the Silence ? An Insider?s Explanation of Self-Injury
We are male and female. We are Caucasian, African-American, European, Hispanic, Native American, and Asian. We are wealthy and poverty stricken. We are gay and straight, young and old. We are teachers, students, lawyers, criminals, parents, sons, and daughters. Many of us are victims of abuse, some of us have been diagnosed with such conditions as depression, manic-depressive disorder, and borderline personality disorder, and we all have a secret ? we hurt ourselves on purpose.
It is called self-injury, self-mutilation, or self-harm, and it is becoming dangerously prevalent among teenagers. An estimated 1% (the vast majority of which is female) of Americans engage in self-injury, which has been defined by leading authority Dr. Armando Favazza as ?deliberate alteration or destruction of body tissue without conscious suicidal intent? and can include (but is not limited to) cutting, burning, bruising, and hair-pulling. (Since cutting is the most common form of self-injury, that is what will be specifically addressed.)
I was a part of that statistic. Like many sufferers, I began cutting myself in my mid-teens and soon found myself addicted to the cathartic properties of self-injury and unable to leave it behind. It was my escape from things I didn?t want to feel and my wake-up call and reality check when I felt nothing at all. Now, at age 21 (and having made it through almost a year without cutting), my current ambition is to spread awareness and understanding about this growing problem, and to offer hope and encouragement to those who are stuck in it.
Why cut?
Those who self-injure do so for a variety of reasons. Some feel that it is the only thing in life that they can control. Others do it as a form of self-punishment. Still others feel that physical pain is easier to deal with than emotional pain or anger. Cutting, however, is almost always a symptom of another problem. Such problems could be memories from past abuse, feelings of no self-worth, pressure from families and friends to be perfect, and many others.
Cutting is about restoring equilibrium. When a great amount of (emotional) pain is felt inside, it may seem as if relief can only come by increasing the (physical) pain outside, equalizing inner and outer pressures.
It is also largely physiological. The act of self-injury (or any painful stimulation) results in the release of beta-endorphins and creates a ?reward? effect, which encourages the behavior and makes it addicting. The act itself reportedly brings a self-injurer?s levels of physical and psychological tension and arousal back to a bearable level. In the simplest terms ? it makes them feel better.
Dispelling the Myths
- Cutters are crazy.
Self-injurers are no more or less crazy than the general public; they just have unhealthy methods of dealing with intense emotions often brought on by stress or trauma.
- They do it for attention.
Very few that participate in such behaviors do it for attention. On the contrary, the vast majority often goes to great lengths trying to hide what they have done to themselves. (I wore long sleeves nearly every day for close to three years.) Many struggle through this problem alone, not telling a single person what they deal with.
- Self-injurers are gothic and emo.
Statistically speaking, the typical self-injurer is a white, educated, middle-class female in her 20?s who has been cutting since her teens. She is high-achieving, a perfectionist and a people-pleaser, and she is often the one you would never expect her to be. (I can?t tell you how many times I have shared my secret with someone and then heard that person say, ?I never would have guessed you?d do something like that?.)
- All they have to do is just stop doing it.
Self-injury is as much an addiction as drugs, alcohol, tobacco, or gambling, and stopping is just as difficult. To do so usually requires professional treatment, as most people cannot recover from the addiction on their own.
- Kids do it because it?s the ?cool? thing to do. While self-injury is becoming an increasingly common phenomenon, in most cases it has nothing to do with ?coolness?. Instead, it?s about the need to neutralize and control intense negative emotions or a sense of feeling ?numb?.
- Cutting is just a weak suicide attempt.
Actually, cutting is completely different from a suicide attempt. The goal is not to die, but to bring emotions back under control so that life can continue.
What to Look For
Concerned that someone you know may be cutting? Some things to watch for are unexplained (or poorly explained) cuts or scars, long sleeves and pants even on hot days, withdrawal from physical touch, talk of hurting oneself, or symptoms of depression.
Remember that this is a sensitive issue with most sufferers, and they will probably not willingly share information with you about it. Here are some suggestions on how to talk to a loved one about self-injury:
- Don?t lecture or accuse. This will drive him or her away.
- If you think your friend or teen may be hurting him or herself, ask calmly if he or she has ever felt like doing so.
- Offer your support unconditionally.
- Be there to listen and help, not to punish or to alienate. This is not the place for ?tough love?.
- If you?re concerned about a friend, encourage him or her to tell someone in a position of authority.
- Parents, decide with your teen what treatment options are best; urge him or her to receive counseling from a professional. While it is possible to completely recover from this addiction without professional intervention, it is very difficult and rare.
In Their Own Words ? What Self-Injurers Want You to Know - "I couldn?t handle the emotional pain, but the physical pain was something I could handle. I would also like people to know and understand that it is not a suicide attempt. My [school officials] thought I was trying to kill myself. I wasn't.? ? Jenny, age 17
Self harm is a way to quit feeling numb. It lets us know that we can still feel something even if that is physical. When we hurt ourselves, not many people see that we are hurting unless it?s revealed. It's just like any other addiction and it needs to be dealt with accordingly.? ? Olivia, 14
I would like therapists to understand that when they are treating people who are involved in self-harm, the focus should not be on 'stopping [self-injury]' but on learning healthier, more beneficial ways to cope, which can replace it. If no work is done on learning to cope with what caused the self harm in the first place, then there is a good chance the person will have difficulty not falling back into [self-injury].? ? Mareka, 19
Telling me to stop isn't the way to go about it, and trying to pressure me into stopping won't help me. Just love me. Support me. And be there for me if you want to help.? ? Angel, 18
For me sometimes, cutting is like a demon or something. I cut to try and get it out, but all I do instead is fuel its fire.? ? Cassie, 18
Maybe you?ve never been exposed to this growing issue, or maybe you?ve only heard of a few faraway teenagers engaging in such activities. Or maybe you have discovered that your own son or daughter has been self-injuring. Whichever case it may be, my hope is that awareness and understanding of this problem may increase.
If you?re a self-injurer reading this (and I know you?re out there), know that you are not alone. My hope for you is that you find someone you can talk to and trust, and that your healing is in the very near future.
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