12 Steps to Recovery on Earth Day
Bill Falzett III
April 23, 2008
1. Admit you are powerless to control your carbon footprint.
2. Believe that Al Gore can restore your sanity.
3. Make a decision to turn your will and your life over to the care of Al Gore.
4. Make a searching and fearless Environmental Impact inventory of yourself.
5. Admit to Al Gore, to yourself, and to others the exact nature of your wrongs.
6. Be ready to have Al Gore remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly ask Al Gore to remove your shortcomings.
8. Make a list of all plants and animals you have harmed, and be willing to make amends to them all.
9. Make direct amends to the Earth wherever possible, except when to do so would injure it further.
10. Continue to take personal inventory and when you are wrong, promptly admit it.
11. Seek through prayer and meditation to improve your conscious contact with Mother Nature and Al Gore.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, carry this message to others with a large carbon footprint, and practice these principles in all your affairs.
I live with my family of 6 in Rural North Texas. Every day I drive an hour to and from work. Until recently I did so in an SUV that gave me plenty of space for my large body. More recently I have bought a Honda Element that gives me plenty of headroom, but cannot carry all my family. This weekend we went to the Fireman's Fest in the town square, and had to take 2 vehicles. I also have 2 other SUVs, one of which is a classic 1974 Ford Bronco with no emissions control, and a riding lawn mower that smokes. My wife's BMW gets good gas mileage, but has leather seats. And while we are on the subject of leather, I have 2 leather jackets and no less than 6 pair of leather shoes. We also have leather furniture in every room of our home. During construction of this same home, I fought with contractors to save the majority of trees on our lot, and to preserve the wild setting, but I still had to clear many. In doing so, I probably destroyed the habitat of several animal species. I surmise this because I have delivered many mice, voles and snakes to safe ground away from our home. The house has vaulted ceilings throughout, with 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, and a three car garage. We also have picture windows throughout the lower floor. Our electricity bill could often make another house payment. In summer we water about an acre of lawn grass, and I shower at least once per day. I do not use recycle bins, and I use more than one square of toilet paper per sitting, a lot more. I believe it is safe to say that some would consider me an environmental disaster.
Despite all my environmental warts, I am a nature lover, and I love my home in the country. I go out of my way to have respect for all living things and to teach this value to my children. While I have not exactly turned my life over to Al Gore, I do think the environment is important, and I am willing to continue working on it even if I do so with my tongue in cheek. Have a happy earth day, and please take some time to consider some of my 12 steps.
2. Believe that Al Gore can restore your sanity.
3. Make a decision to turn your will and your life over to the care of Al Gore.
4. Make a searching and fearless Environmental Impact inventory of yourself.
5. Admit to Al Gore, to yourself, and to others the exact nature of your wrongs.
6. Be ready to have Al Gore remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly ask Al Gore to remove your shortcomings.
8. Make a list of all plants and animals you have harmed, and be willing to make amends to them all.
9. Make direct amends to the Earth wherever possible, except when to do so would injure it further.
10. Continue to take personal inventory and when you are wrong, promptly admit it.
11. Seek through prayer and meditation to improve your conscious contact with Mother Nature and Al Gore.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, carry this message to others with a large carbon footprint, and practice these principles in all your affairs.
I live with my family of 6 in Rural North Texas. Every day I drive an hour to and from work. Until recently I did so in an SUV that gave me plenty of space for my large body. More recently I have bought a Honda Element that gives me plenty of headroom, but cannot carry all my family. This weekend we went to the Fireman's Fest in the town square, and had to take 2 vehicles. I also have 2 other SUVs, one of which is a classic 1974 Ford Bronco with no emissions control, and a riding lawn mower that smokes. My wife's BMW gets good gas mileage, but has leather seats. And while we are on the subject of leather, I have 2 leather jackets and no less than 6 pair of leather shoes. We also have leather furniture in every room of our home. During construction of this same home, I fought with contractors to save the majority of trees on our lot, and to preserve the wild setting, but I still had to clear many. In doing so, I probably destroyed the habitat of several animal species. I surmise this because I have delivered many mice, voles and snakes to safe ground away from our home. The house has vaulted ceilings throughout, with 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, and a three car garage. We also have picture windows throughout the lower floor. Our electricity bill could often make another house payment. In summer we water about an acre of lawn grass, and I shower at least once per day. I do not use recycle bins, and I use more than one square of toilet paper per sitting, a lot more. I believe it is safe to say that some would consider me an environmental disaster.
Despite all my environmental warts, I am a nature lover, and I love my home in the country. I go out of my way to have respect for all living things and to teach this value to my children. While I have not exactly turned my life over to Al Gore, I do think the environment is important, and I am willing to continue working on it even if I do so with my tongue in cheek. Have a happy earth day, and please take some time to consider some of my 12 steps.
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