Argue Effectively Instead of Having an Ego Battle

Every argument -- when two people are trying to reach a rational resolution about a conflict -- has the potential to strengthen or weaken the relationship. Ideally, the people involved are focused on the objective -- reaching a solution – and aren´t centered on being right.

Often what happens, however, is that arguing plays to the egoist in all of us. When the ego gets involved, you are no longer having a conversation, you are pushing to be right.

"An argument is when a discussion about opposing points of view becomes heated and we dig in and try to defend, justify or protect our point of view," says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and Director of Training at Sedona Training Associates.

It´s next to impossible to get anywhere during this type of ego battle because both parties are in a state of "one-upmanship" -- and feel that they must get the other person to see things their way.

"When you are defending any point of view, you have become identified with it and therefore believe you are defending yourself, not your point of view," Dwoskin says.

Getting Over Your Ego: Reaching Resolution

The key to arguing in a constructive manner is to simply get over your ego. Ideally, your partner will also get over theirs. But how? 

"The simplest way to break free of any particular argument and break the tendency to argue is to let go of wanting to defend, justify, explain or prove your point of view -- and to be as open as you can to the other person´s point of view," Dwoskin says.

When you let go of fighting for your point of view, there is no longer a need to prove anything. The anger or urgent need to be right that you once felt so keenly actually disappears, and your mind becomes free to focus on finding solutions.

Further, as you practice empathizing with your partner´s point of view, you break down the wall that you´ve both built up between you. Ultimately, you will see that it doesn´t matter who is right or wrong, only that you can communicate openly together.

All of these things are easily attainable when you use The Sedona Method. This tool has helped hundreds of thousands of people to improve their lives, including strengthening, and repairing, their relationships.

Said Sedona Method graduate, Judith Halderman from St. Louis, MO, "My relationship with my husband is deeper, freer, and more joyful and playful. In general, life is so much easier!"

This is because letting go of arguing for your point of view takes a weight off your shoulders, and off your relationship.

"Letting go is very liberating, life-affirming and relationship-saving if you allow yourself to do it," Dwoskin says. "It helps you to be a lot happier with yourself and others."

For more information on the life-changing, easy-to-use Sedona Method, please visit our web site at: www.sedona.com