How To Be A Good Role Model For Your Child

Do you want to help boost your children´s self-esteem? Surprisingly, a good place to start is to think about your self-esteem. Do you have high self-esteem? Do you have a fulfilling life? While you are building good self-esteem in your child, it is just as important for you to be a good role model yourself, and to help them find and observe other good role models.

Children have a better chance of developing high self-esteem when those closest to them, primarily their parents, demonstrate high self-esteem. After all, children learn from modeled behavior. What you do influences your child´s character far more than what you say. If you have high self-esteem and exude confidence, you pass those traits on to your children by example. If, on the other hand, you are unhappy with your job, don´t have the courage to talk to your boss, and are depressed or self-deprecating, your child is not being brought up in an emotional climate conducive to developing high self-esteem. Obviously, these emotional byproducts of a stressful life can be dealt with, and it is important that you, as a parent, learn how to—so your child can grow from your example and learn how to deal with life´s curveballs.

TIPS FOR PROMOTING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

SHARE IDEAS. Share your original ideas, opinions, and thoughts with peers and family members. Don´t just take on the ideas and opinions of others.

TAKE ACTION. Don´t just talk. Show your child that you are a doer, not just a talker.

STAND UP FOR YOUR IDEAS. Don´t automatically consider what others say to be more important than what you have to say. Have the confidence to defend your ideas, making adjustments as appropriate, not just caving in to the pressure of others.

SET GOALS. Set realistic short- and long-term goals for yourself. What do you hope to accomplish this year? In ten years? What kind of person would you like to be?

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Attend to your personal needs: eat well, get plenty of sleep, exercise, and be sure to leave some time for fun.

USE YOUR OPTIONS. Sort out your options so that you can make appropriate decisions. Recognize that you have the capacity to help determine your destiny and not let others determine it for you.

DEVELOP YOUR SELF-IMAGE. Establish a realistic idealized image for yourself and work toward it.

ATTAIN YOUR GOALS. Work toward becoming competent in one or more areas in which you aspire. Be sure your goals are realistic.

In addition to having a good role model as a parent, your child will need other good role models, so they can learn from them how to develop their own goals. By observing famous, or not so famous, people or fictional characters, children begin to think about such things as: How they got to that position? Would I like to do that or something like that? Is it possible to become like them? If so, what would I have to do? Helping develop goals is an important secondary benefit of role modeling, and the more diverse these roles, the more opportunities children have to think about and possibly develop personal goals.

One way to begin is by asking your child what kind of person he would like to be when he grows up. His answer might very well be that he wants to be like you! But if his answer is some violent arch-villain of a comic super-hero, don´t panic. Either way, he needs more potential role models from which to choose. You´re the one who can expose him to them firsthand, or point them out to him. In short, it´s your job to be a good role model for your child, and to help him find other role models.

TIPS FOR HELPING CHILDREN VISUALIZE ROLE MODELS

THE ARTS. Expose your child to theater, art, music, sporting events, movies, lectures, family outings, and other stimulating experiences. Through exposure to the world beyond the family setting, your child is provided with additional potential role models to emulate. This can be done by way of trips, literary or cyberspace "journeys," DVD or CD-ROM programs, walks into town, or conversations.

SHARE. Share with your child your own occupational domain by talking about and showing what you do. Consider bringing your child to work with you once in a while. Yours may be a field in which your youngster expresses interest. The success of such visits depends on the appropriateness of the workplace and the planning that precedes it. The payoff comes in the opportunity for parent and child to share fresh perspectives on many levels. (Note: Be careful not to force the issue. It´s risky to "groom" a child for the same occupation as yours or to take over your business. That might be your dream, but it may not be your child´s.)

TWENTY QUESTIONS. Play "Twenty Questions" to attempt to identify famous people. You will start to see a pattern emerge in whom your child names. This pattern might reveal more about whom your child looks up to than you would think.

LETTER. Help your child to write a letter to a famous or not-so-famous person (past or present) that he admires. It feels good to express appreciation to someone for his or her contribution to society.