Men and Internet Dating
Saqqara Aleister
March 06, 2008
I just have to ask--do men even get it?
I was, as I sometimes do, hopping around Match.com. A friend had told me Dr. Phil was the new maven of singles and that it's different than it used to be. So off I went to check it out; I´m single, nothing wrong with it. After checking it out, I say HA! It's not different; men are still on there mostly to get laid, and I am SO not paying to chat with some guy who just wants dirty pictures or a roll in the hay because his wife or girlfriend says no today. There are a few here and there that might actually be looking for dates and or a wife/GF {or are really good at hiding that they aren´t}, but then I saw this:
"I'm interested in a woman between the ages of 25 and 32, so please don't write if you're younger or older than that." Along with a few lines about extra points for having an uber-fabulous degree and liking dogs.
To that I had to say, COME ON DUDE!!! Do you not get that women in that age range are mostly one-shot wonders in the sack? They aren't looking for a husband in the real sense, most are looking for a guy to pay off their credit cards and college bills, and they certainly aren't comfortable in their own skin yet.
I myself am only 6 years older than the guy whose profile that came from, and he was even ruling out women in HIS age bracket. Now, what exactly this guy is looking for, I don´t think he even knows, but maybe a super starved super model, a whack job, to just get laid, or maybe simply a nubile sex slave--or maybe even a chick to support him.
News on that mister; you'll be lucky to get even a little. You notice he´s into the college girls. Men in their late 20's and 30's are sexual beasts and generally know their bodies well, and like older women, are probably more comfortable with themselves. I know I'm far more comfortable in my skin than when I was 25 or 32. Sure, OK, I'll admit it; for older women, it's all in eating right, exercising, not smoking, and drinking tons of water. But the plus to an older woman {and I'm not talking taking the train to Cougarville, boys} is that older women enjoy their jobs, enjoy their friendships, enjoy sex, they enjoy the little things that pass younger women by on the road to, "OMG, I'm so lost without a husband and kids", and older women also tend to be more understanding about their guy hanging out with his male friends, some even encourage it. Older women don´t need the constant male companionship younger women seem to feel they need; the latter thus tending to smother men with needy behavior.
I'm not saying I'm against husbands or kids. I'd love to get married, have kids--the whole ball of wax--but once I was comfortable with myself and knew what I WANTED in a relationship, I didn't feel it was something I HAD to have but something I WANTED--and there, my friends, is the rub. There is a HUGE difference between need and want, and learning that is when you are ready for the love of your life.
For 25-year-olds, it´s more about how they look, what designer they are wearing, or if they are wearing a smaller pant size than the chick beside them.
Just like the feeling when you realize you don't NEED to read Cosmo anymore because you know more about sex and relationships than the 25-year-old, just out of college editor. When men start writing off the older women is when they marry the hot 25-year-old, and five years and two kids later, are sleeping on their friend´s couch with nothing, including their visitation rights, and blaming ALL women when they should have just thought about what was actually hot in the first place.
Hot is listening to your inner spirit, actually noticing the chemistry you have with another person rather than going on looks, age, or how much money they have. I'm gonna tell you, if I knew this guy personally, I could in five years be standing in a room with him and saying his relationship looks like a Monet; from far away it's nice, but up close it's just a big ´ol mess.
Men need to chill out a bit more, they need to not listen to their friends {the ones they´ll be putting up on their couch}, they need to be less visual and more in touch with what they really want in life and in a relationship. Sure, that takes a lot of hard work and looking at oneself more closely and maybe admitting some things about yourself that might not be pretty, but when you admit your faults and do the work to change yourself on all levels, your relationships with everyone become much brighter, more substantial, and far more sustainable through everything this crazy world might throw at you. Know who you are and be happy with yourself before planning to spend the rest of your life with another person.
I was, as I sometimes do, hopping around Match.com. A friend had told me Dr. Phil was the new maven of singles and that it's different than it used to be. So off I went to check it out; I´m single, nothing wrong with it. After checking it out, I say HA! It's not different; men are still on there mostly to get laid, and I am SO not paying to chat with some guy who just wants dirty pictures or a roll in the hay because his wife or girlfriend says no today. There are a few here and there that might actually be looking for dates and or a wife/GF {or are really good at hiding that they aren´t}, but then I saw this:
"I'm interested in a woman between the ages of 25 and 32, so please don't write if you're younger or older than that." Along with a few lines about extra points for having an uber-fabulous degree and liking dogs.
To that I had to say, COME ON DUDE!!! Do you not get that women in that age range are mostly one-shot wonders in the sack? They aren't looking for a husband in the real sense, most are looking for a guy to pay off their credit cards and college bills, and they certainly aren't comfortable in their own skin yet.
I myself am only 6 years older than the guy whose profile that came from, and he was even ruling out women in HIS age bracket. Now, what exactly this guy is looking for, I don´t think he even knows, but maybe a super starved super model, a whack job, to just get laid, or maybe simply a nubile sex slave--or maybe even a chick to support him.
News on that mister; you'll be lucky to get even a little. You notice he´s into the college girls. Men in their late 20's and 30's are sexual beasts and generally know their bodies well, and like older women, are probably more comfortable with themselves. I know I'm far more comfortable in my skin than when I was 25 or 32. Sure, OK, I'll admit it; for older women, it's all in eating right, exercising, not smoking, and drinking tons of water. But the plus to an older woman {and I'm not talking taking the train to Cougarville, boys} is that older women enjoy their jobs, enjoy their friendships, enjoy sex, they enjoy the little things that pass younger women by on the road to, "OMG, I'm so lost without a husband and kids", and older women also tend to be more understanding about their guy hanging out with his male friends, some even encourage it. Older women don´t need the constant male companionship younger women seem to feel they need; the latter thus tending to smother men with needy behavior.
I'm not saying I'm against husbands or kids. I'd love to get married, have kids--the whole ball of wax--but once I was comfortable with myself and knew what I WANTED in a relationship, I didn't feel it was something I HAD to have but something I WANTED--and there, my friends, is the rub. There is a HUGE difference between need and want, and learning that is when you are ready for the love of your life.
For 25-year-olds, it´s more about how they look, what designer they are wearing, or if they are wearing a smaller pant size than the chick beside them.
Just like the feeling when you realize you don't NEED to read Cosmo anymore because you know more about sex and relationships than the 25-year-old, just out of college editor. When men start writing off the older women is when they marry the hot 25-year-old, and five years and two kids later, are sleeping on their friend´s couch with nothing, including their visitation rights, and blaming ALL women when they should have just thought about what was actually hot in the first place.
Hot is listening to your inner spirit, actually noticing the chemistry you have with another person rather than going on looks, age, or how much money they have. I'm gonna tell you, if I knew this guy personally, I could in five years be standing in a room with him and saying his relationship looks like a Monet; from far away it's nice, but up close it's just a big ´ol mess.
Men need to chill out a bit more, they need to not listen to their friends {the ones they´ll be putting up on their couch}, they need to be less visual and more in touch with what they really want in life and in a relationship. Sure, that takes a lot of hard work and looking at oneself more closely and maybe admitting some things about yourself that might not be pretty, but when you admit your faults and do the work to change yourself on all levels, your relationships with everyone become much brighter, more substantial, and far more sustainable through everything this crazy world might throw at you. Know who you are and be happy with yourself before planning to spend the rest of your life with another person.
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