I Don't Need A Mommy!

Mommies carry us in the womb through the period of our greatest dependence. They nourish us with their bodies, and nurture us throughout childhood, with affection, acceptance and security. They give of themselves unselfishly, in the purest display of human altruism. For most of us, when we begin to walk, we take our first steps to wean ourselves away from our dependence on Mommy. When we fall, we cry and become frustrated, but we pick ourselves up, and work at it until we can walk independently. As the apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians in the Christian Bible, "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." Most of us put away childish things, and Mommy eventually becomes Mom or Mother.

My parents were divorced very early in my life, but after High School I went to live with my father briefly. He had remarried a few years prior, and lived with his wife and three kids. When I showed up, it took some adjustment for everyone to understand his or her place in the new arrangement. From the beginning, there was a discomfort and unease between my step-mother and I. It was largely due to the fact we were just so different, different ideologies and different backgrounds. We simply had nothing in common except for my father, and were unable to relate to one another comfortably.

A couple weeks into the arrangement, she expressed her discomfort to my father. She felt like I did not defer to her, or look to her as a mother figure. He told me at the time that he explained to her that I was not looking for a Mommy (his word) and that she needed to find a different way of relating to me. I am sure this was the short version of their conversation, but I think it accurately conveys the sense and direction it took. My father was right on about this; he knew it instinctively, even though we never discussed it. I was a young man, strong minded, intelligent and independent, not a little boy. I made my own decisions and I lived with the consequences of my choices. Though I was inexperienced, I was an adult in every way. He was right; the last thing I needed was a Mommy.

Now, over a quarter century later, this story has remained with me as something of a metaphor for how I see political life today. On the left I see socialists who want us all to live as one big happy family, being responsible for one another, sharing and playing fair. When others fall, our Marxist Mommies want us to pick them up. On the right, I see the religious fundamentalists, pushing a faith based morality on me and the rest of the world. When we fall, our Christian Mommies want repentance and conformity with the principles of God. Both sides want to be the Mommy of the country. They want to tell us how to live and believe, and how we as a country should relate to one another and spend our money. They want us to remain dependent, and both have proven capable of growing the government to make it so; An overbearing Mommy indeed!

For anyone who is not aware of it, our country is a representative republic. It was not founded as a socialist utopia or as a congregation of supplicants. It was founded by men of free and independent spirit, suspicious of big central government, but eager to avail themselves of the security that a confederation of independent states would ensure. Thomas Jefferson epitomizes this mindset, and frequently made public statements to that effect. One such typical statement is, "I have no fear that the result of our experiment will be that men may be trusted to govern themselves without a master." Jefferson doesn't say we should trust big government, the masses or a god. Instead, he clearly and repeatedly intends that men govern themselves; not each other, but themselves. It is historical fact that Jefferson was fiercely independent of his Mommy at a very early age. Likewise he fought the Federalist elements and the growth of central government throughout his political career. I agree with Jefferson and his vision of our country wholeheartedly.

Having served as an official in a small private community, it is my experience that most people seriously resent authority over their actions and property. They simply don't need a Mommy hovering over their adult experience watching and approving every move. Unfortunately, in order to live together harmoniously, there must be some higher code or contract to which we all adhere. In my local community, it is a document called the Declaration of Covenants, Conditions and Restrictions. In the United States our contract with our government is called the Constitution. This contract is not a Mosaic type Covenant with God, nor is it a Marxist style manifesto of the proletariat to contribute appropriately to the collective. Instead, the Constitution of the United States guarantees each of us is free to believe as we choose and to dispose of ourselves and our properties as WE see fit. Furthermore, it limits the power and influence of government in our lives, and it guarantees us as individuals the right and privilege to live as adults, to pursue our vision of happiness, and to reap the rewards AND the consequences of our choices and actions. My faith lies in this document, and in the judgment, influence and foresight of great men like Jefferson. I have no faith in a big government who wants to act like Mommy and keep me and my countrymen dependent.

I was a big boy when I moved in with my father, all grown-up and haired-over as he used to say. Now, as then, I am prepared to take my lumps for my mistakes, my rewards for my efforts, and I insist upon my liberties and freedoms guaranteed to me by our constitution. I don't want religious fundamentalism forced down my throat and I don't want to be forced to take care of the world with compulsory charity. I am suspicious of big government, and I resent left-wing socialists, right-wing religious fanatics and anyone else dictating to me my morality. I am my Mother's son, all grown up, a free and independent man, and I don't need a Mommy.