Leadership Through Listening
EmPower Research
February 15, 2008
By A Geeta
We have all heard the story of six blind men who were asked to describe an elephant by touching and feeling it. And all six came up with six different descriptions! One who touched the tail of the elephant said it was a rope, and then the other who touched its ear said it was a huge fan and it was so for every one of them. This was so because, each being blind, could only describe the one part they could feel, and not the complete elephant.
In a similar manner, we all have our unique way of viewing a situation. It is just not possible to understand another´s point of view while refusing to budge from our own position.
While listening this becomes important. If the six blind men described to the others what each of them was feeling and all listened to what others were telling, they would have come up with a reasonable and close-to-real description of the actual situation.
Surviving in a Corporate Setup
This is how in a corporate setup, teams survive and thrive. A team usually consists of people who are as different from each other. And, each would have a unique skill set or expertise that the other team members do not have. Bringing such diverse talents into a cohesive whole to achieve an objective calls for exceptional communication. This communication comprises 10% of explaining, 20% of observation, and 70% of listening. Only by empathic listening and observation can we discover the hidden potential in others. A good leader is one who listens with the sole purpose of understanding what the other is trying to tell. Listening means reading between the lines and understanding what is left unsaid. When we are able to listen to every team member and understand the uniqueness of each individual, we discover how much value each person adds to our work. That´s how we learn to harness each person´s potential.
A good listener does not let his own views on a matter interfere with the thought process of the speaker. He or she tries to create an empathic environment for the speaker to aid him or her in effective communication. The moment we start thinking about our own views, we block our minds to what others are telling.
Train yourself to see people as the uniquely talented individuals they really are. Bingo! You have not only the secret formula of team building in your hands, but a real strong team that you can feel, is your own.
Understanding Through Listening
When we listen attentively, we gain a much better understanding of the "big picture". Thus, when the director of our company is giving a presentation on the direction the company is going to take, if you are listening well, you will be able to see things from the director´s perspective and share a vision that the company is striving to turn into reality. This single attribute of listening could be your rocket to success if its full potential is harnessed properly.
Similarly, when you put yourself in the place of your team leader, you can understand better why the makes certain decisions the way they do. When someone criticizes us, it is up to us to take that criticism constructively or destructively. Most of us live under the mistaken impression that we are the only ones who are right about everything. We tend to forget the fact that right and wrong are subjective words. What´s right for us may be completely wrong for someone else or vice versa. Since we, with our limited vision, cannot view the "big picture" at all times, we should be aware of the limits of our viewpoint and respect the other person´s point of view. Since none of us are perfect, we can be sure that no one understands us better than ourselves. Still, it could be most enlightening, if not completely true, to hear what some of our colleagues/superiors have to say about us!
More than anything else, listening empathically makes us better and more reliable individuals.
Normally as we fail to listen properly, we form opinions that are colored or biased by our own views. In failing to be open-minded to every person´s uniqueness, we tend to label others. We slot people under labels in our minds and tend to behave as appropriate for the labels we have given them. Here, again we tend to ignore the vital fact that nature is dynamic and continuously evolving. A person we think is completely selfish may catch us unawares with a sudden completely selfless act that according to our perception is a jarring note in their personality. A child who is normally sweet suddenly surprises us with the cruel act of hurting a puppy. None of us is as perfect as we believe ourselves to be. People who understand and accept this simple truth tend to be more tolerant, observant, and understanding, and also good listeners. These people shoulder responsibilities not because it is their job, but because their hearts are in it. It is from this rare crop of people that real leaders emerge.
Thus, a true leader is not the one who stands on a pedestal and gives a moving lecture. A leader is the one who is standing with you among the crowd; talking and listening to you; working with you; understanding your needs, limitations, and potential; and helping you at every step of the way to achieve what you never dreamt of achieving.
We have all heard the story of six blind men who were asked to describe an elephant by touching and feeling it. And all six came up with six different descriptions! One who touched the tail of the elephant said it was a rope, and then the other who touched its ear said it was a huge fan and it was so for every one of them. This was so because, each being blind, could only describe the one part they could feel, and not the complete elephant.
In a similar manner, we all have our unique way of viewing a situation. It is just not possible to understand another´s point of view while refusing to budge from our own position.
While listening this becomes important. If the six blind men described to the others what each of them was feeling and all listened to what others were telling, they would have come up with a reasonable and close-to-real description of the actual situation.
Surviving in a Corporate Setup
This is how in a corporate setup, teams survive and thrive. A team usually consists of people who are as different from each other. And, each would have a unique skill set or expertise that the other team members do not have. Bringing such diverse talents into a cohesive whole to achieve an objective calls for exceptional communication. This communication comprises 10% of explaining, 20% of observation, and 70% of listening. Only by empathic listening and observation can we discover the hidden potential in others. A good leader is one who listens with the sole purpose of understanding what the other is trying to tell. Listening means reading between the lines and understanding what is left unsaid. When we are able to listen to every team member and understand the uniqueness of each individual, we discover how much value each person adds to our work. That´s how we learn to harness each person´s potential.
A good listener does not let his own views on a matter interfere with the thought process of the speaker. He or she tries to create an empathic environment for the speaker to aid him or her in effective communication. The moment we start thinking about our own views, we block our minds to what others are telling.
Train yourself to see people as the uniquely talented individuals they really are. Bingo! You have not only the secret formula of team building in your hands, but a real strong team that you can feel, is your own.
Understanding Through Listening
When we listen attentively, we gain a much better understanding of the "big picture". Thus, when the director of our company is giving a presentation on the direction the company is going to take, if you are listening well, you will be able to see things from the director´s perspective and share a vision that the company is striving to turn into reality. This single attribute of listening could be your rocket to success if its full potential is harnessed properly.
Similarly, when you put yourself in the place of your team leader, you can understand better why the makes certain decisions the way they do. When someone criticizes us, it is up to us to take that criticism constructively or destructively. Most of us live under the mistaken impression that we are the only ones who are right about everything. We tend to forget the fact that right and wrong are subjective words. What´s right for us may be completely wrong for someone else or vice versa. Since we, with our limited vision, cannot view the "big picture" at all times, we should be aware of the limits of our viewpoint and respect the other person´s point of view. Since none of us are perfect, we can be sure that no one understands us better than ourselves. Still, it could be most enlightening, if not completely true, to hear what some of our colleagues/superiors have to say about us!
More than anything else, listening empathically makes us better and more reliable individuals.
Normally as we fail to listen properly, we form opinions that are colored or biased by our own views. In failing to be open-minded to every person´s uniqueness, we tend to label others. We slot people under labels in our minds and tend to behave as appropriate for the labels we have given them. Here, again we tend to ignore the vital fact that nature is dynamic and continuously evolving. A person we think is completely selfish may catch us unawares with a sudden completely selfless act that according to our perception is a jarring note in their personality. A child who is normally sweet suddenly surprises us with the cruel act of hurting a puppy. None of us is as perfect as we believe ourselves to be. People who understand and accept this simple truth tend to be more tolerant, observant, and understanding, and also good listeners. These people shoulder responsibilities not because it is their job, but because their hearts are in it. It is from this rare crop of people that real leaders emerge.
Thus, a true leader is not the one who stands on a pedestal and gives a moving lecture. A leader is the one who is standing with you among the crowd; talking and listening to you; working with you; understanding your needs, limitations, and potential; and helping you at every step of the way to achieve what you never dreamt of achieving.
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