Three keys to improve skills in managing difficult people

marshapetriesue.com

If you need a relationship rescue, customer management or to deal with a difficult person welcome to the inaugural column featuring personal development ideas to help you be more successful. The focus is to share tools and real solutions that will help you and your team manage people like the steamroller, backstabber, bully, whiners and other people that gossip and constantly start rumors … the people that suck the life out of your environment.

Here is the hard reality. If you have bad relationships, it´s your fault. If you have poor outcomes, you created them. You must take personal responsibility for every choice and outcome in your life, including the difficult people.

You always have choices when deciding what to do in sticky situations. When you are pushed against a wall and have nowhere to turn, stop and question yourself. "Do I choose to take it, leave it or change it? What´s my plan?"

1) Take it - When you accept events as they are in the moment, you send a message to yourself that it is OK for right now. Maybe not perfect but livable. The situation is not creating tremendous stress or discomfort. You know this state is temporary.

2) Leave it - The most difficult decision you face is when you are forced to step out of your comfort zone and reject the situation. This can appear as a great and overwhelming risk. This is when you say, "I'm not going to accept it the way it is, and I know I can't change it so I'm leaving." Have you left a job or relationship because you couldn´t take it any longer? This was your choice to leave. No risk, no reward.

3) Change it - This may appear to be difficult and overwhelming because it takes you to a place you´ve never been. Managing the unknown can be as easy as changing your perspective, your opinion, or your attitude. Other times you have to negotiate and dig to get what you want. Deciding to change means tackling what is going on right now for the sake of building something better later. It takes work and flexibility to identify what you need. You must have courage to ask for what you want.

Use this TLC approach whether the "hair in your biscuit" is a person or an annoying situation. When others try to involve you in their problem, create your own environment – and a better outcome-- by calmly using the TLC approach.

For more information on how to take personal responsibility with difficult employees, people and toxic behavior, please visit: marshapetriesue.com

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Blog: DecontaminateToxicPeople.com

Questions? Marsha@MarshaPetrieSue.com