Searching, Searching, Searching
Paul Gay
January 26, 2006
Try as I might, I cannot find one. I have Googled, I have Yahoo'd, I have Mamma'd and yes I have even asked that wonderful Mr. Jeeves for help. What you ask? Well, how about a way to stop my kids form washing my wallet down the drain? To be more specific, I'm tired of banging on the bathroom door telling my teenagers to get out of the shower. Is a ten minute shower unreasonable? Does it really take a skin-pruning thirty minutes to clean the average human body? Perhaps I am asking too much of them. I can't help but wonder just how long it should take to wash one's hair and run bar of soap over their skin, all in the name of cleanliness. The electric company must smile from ear to ear when they read my meter. I wonder if such rapid spinning will someday cause that little wheel in the center to fly off it's axle, shatter the glass cover and shoot into orbit?
After years of aggravation I have finally devised an idea, at least in concept, to cure this irritating habit. Picture it, a timer valve placed in the hot water line which leads to the shower. It can sense when the water is turned on. It slowly and meticulously counts away the seconds until ten minutes have elapsed. Then without warning, it shuts off the hot water, leaving only the cold to continue flowing. We mere parents would then hear the satisfying, yet blood curdling screams and shameless cussing of the modern day teenager as he/she is suddenly doused in ice cold water. It's a thing of beauty! To be fair, the timer does give the teen a choice. He/she can continue getting bombarded by cold water or get out of the shower. Now that choice is music to my wallet!
Wouldn't it be great if this timer had the following features;
1. Lockable. Enclose it in a tamper proof box.
2. Have it fail in the closed position. That way if the teen unplugs it, the hot water stays off.
3. Have it automatically reset after another ten minutes. This allows the next unsuspecting victim, errrr teen the chance for a, "normal" shower.
4. A manual reset. Allows parents the opportunity to manually turn the hot water back on. Handy in the event of power failures.
How about it all you mechanical geniuses out there? Has this heavenly device been invented already? If not, then I challenge you to make one. Think of the riches it will bring you! Parents everywhere will rejoice, not to mention hunt one down like it was the newest must-have Christmas toy. As a bonus to you, I will gladly make my home your test facility.
I can still remember my Navy days aboard ship. If memory serves, at shower time we were required to turn on the water for no more then twenty seconds. This got us plenty wet enough to lather up. After which, we could take all the time we needed loading ourselves down with soap and shampoo. Things always seemed a little chilly though just standing there soaking wet. It was always best to keep moving, besides, there was usually a line for the showers. Then we were allowed an additional two minutes to rinse off. It seems to me that we got just as clean with this procedure as teens do today. It kind of makes me wonder, can I get any of these kids to join the Navy? What an ecologically sound lesson they would learn. Perhaps it is time to incorporate this Navy shower rule into our home. After which, I wonder how my head stone will read?
After years of aggravation I have finally devised an idea, at least in concept, to cure this irritating habit. Picture it, a timer valve placed in the hot water line which leads to the shower. It can sense when the water is turned on. It slowly and meticulously counts away the seconds until ten minutes have elapsed. Then without warning, it shuts off the hot water, leaving only the cold to continue flowing. We mere parents would then hear the satisfying, yet blood curdling screams and shameless cussing of the modern day teenager as he/she is suddenly doused in ice cold water. It's a thing of beauty! To be fair, the timer does give the teen a choice. He/she can continue getting bombarded by cold water or get out of the shower. Now that choice is music to my wallet!
Wouldn't it be great if this timer had the following features;
1. Lockable. Enclose it in a tamper proof box.
2. Have it fail in the closed position. That way if the teen unplugs it, the hot water stays off.
3. Have it automatically reset after another ten minutes. This allows the next unsuspecting victim, errrr teen the chance for a, "normal" shower.
4. A manual reset. Allows parents the opportunity to manually turn the hot water back on. Handy in the event of power failures.
How about it all you mechanical geniuses out there? Has this heavenly device been invented already? If not, then I challenge you to make one. Think of the riches it will bring you! Parents everywhere will rejoice, not to mention hunt one down like it was the newest must-have Christmas toy. As a bonus to you, I will gladly make my home your test facility.
I can still remember my Navy days aboard ship. If memory serves, at shower time we were required to turn on the water for no more then twenty seconds. This got us plenty wet enough to lather up. After which, we could take all the time we needed loading ourselves down with soap and shampoo. Things always seemed a little chilly though just standing there soaking wet. It was always best to keep moving, besides, there was usually a line for the showers. Then we were allowed an additional two minutes to rinse off. It seems to me that we got just as clean with this procedure as teens do today. It kind of makes me wonder, can I get any of these kids to join the Navy? What an ecologically sound lesson they would learn. Perhaps it is time to incorporate this Navy shower rule into our home. After which, I wonder how my head stone will read?
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