Does God Like Politics?
Stan Grimes
January 23, 2008
Now that the primaries are beginning to bloom in several states, we are starting to see what each candidate is really made of. A couple of nights ago we saw Hillary and Barak exchange unpleasantries worth of an exchange between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader in his evil empire. Watching Mitt´s unblemished face crinkle at some of John McCain´s jabs has been fun. It´s good to see a man´s facial ticks, proves they´re human don´t you think? They are human right…right? I can´t wait until it really gets down to the nitty gritty.
I remember in earlier debates questions were asked about each candidate´s dependency on their spiritual beliefs. To hear them talk, most of them were nearly ready to walk on water. Especially Huckabee, he was ready to ski without a boat. Romney said he couldn´t envision the U.S. being led by anyone but a god-fearing man (I think he was referring to himself…but don´t quote me).
I think it´s safe to say every candidate has made it clear that god is on his or her side. Trouble is, when the mud starts slinging god must be hiding in the backseat somewhere with his hands over his ears…singing "Ninety Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall." Personally, if the big guy is as benevolent as preached by his followers, he wouldn´t be liking any of this trash being thrown around in either party´s front lawn.
I propose a question. If Bloomberg throws his hat into the race, as an Independent will god be on his side too? After all, he is an independent. Independent means the man should be unfettered by either party, you know like…uh, independent. Does god like independents? I don´t know, it´s not in the bible anywhere about Independents. I think it might have been in that part of the Dead Sea Scrolls hidden under a rock somewhere in the Middle East.
I kind of like Hillary, but not in a bathing suit, Bill looks better. So no more bathing suit jokes, okay? Enough with the cottage cheese jokes, all right? I mean, come on, you think John McCain looks any better with his Tarzan shorts on? You think that Abraham Lincoln body of Barak´s looks good? Get some glasses man. If you´re looking for hot bodies, check out Barak´s little woman, Michelle. Whoa doggy. She is a looker. She´s got that First Lady look about her, sizzle. Antithetically speaking, Mike Huckabee´s wife looks like she´s ready to lead the church choir in a Baptist rendition of Handel´s Messiah. That´s not a terrible thing I guess. I like the Messiah. I just don´t know which one to vote for this year.
I remember in earlier debates questions were asked about each candidate´s dependency on their spiritual beliefs. To hear them talk, most of them were nearly ready to walk on water. Especially Huckabee, he was ready to ski without a boat. Romney said he couldn´t envision the U.S. being led by anyone but a god-fearing man (I think he was referring to himself…but don´t quote me).
I think it´s safe to say every candidate has made it clear that god is on his or her side. Trouble is, when the mud starts slinging god must be hiding in the backseat somewhere with his hands over his ears…singing "Ninety Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall." Personally, if the big guy is as benevolent as preached by his followers, he wouldn´t be liking any of this trash being thrown around in either party´s front lawn.
I propose a question. If Bloomberg throws his hat into the race, as an Independent will god be on his side too? After all, he is an independent. Independent means the man should be unfettered by either party, you know like…uh, independent. Does god like independents? I don´t know, it´s not in the bible anywhere about Independents. I think it might have been in that part of the Dead Sea Scrolls hidden under a rock somewhere in the Middle East.
I kind of like Hillary, but not in a bathing suit, Bill looks better. So no more bathing suit jokes, okay? Enough with the cottage cheese jokes, all right? I mean, come on, you think John McCain looks any better with his Tarzan shorts on? You think that Abraham Lincoln body of Barak´s looks good? Get some glasses man. If you´re looking for hot bodies, check out Barak´s little woman, Michelle. Whoa doggy. She is a looker. She´s got that First Lady look about her, sizzle. Antithetically speaking, Mike Huckabee´s wife looks like she´s ready to lead the church choir in a Baptist rendition of Handel´s Messiah. That´s not a terrible thing I guess. I like the Messiah. I just don´t know which one to vote for this year.
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