Life books for the Adopted Child When You Have Little Information
Lisa Copen
January 15, 2008
Making a life book may seem a bit daunting. As you collect the information you have about your child's life before he or she came to live with you, it may seem discouraging that so little information exists
Adoptive families vary in the extent of information they may have about birthmother of their child. While some families actually have the birth mother over to baby sit the child occasionally, others meet at a park for a few hours each year. Other families have no relationship with the birth family, perhaps even nothing more than a name on paper if that.
Many families have two or more adopted children and the relationships of the different birthmoms with the family vary. One birthmom may be very involved, while others have no contact at all. When this happens, oftentimes a birthmom of one child will go out of her way send notes or small gifts to the sibling of the child to make sure each child feels included and loved.
When you have a relationship with a birthmom you may have any information you want for your child's adoption book. She may be eager to help out to make sure the child has a wonderful book.
If you are an adoptive mom without a lot of information about your child's birth or birth family-if any at all-don't fret. You will still design an fantastic life book that helps your child understand his or her history.
For example, one of the most essential pages of the life book is about the biological mother, but you may not even have a photograph of her. Be sure to include a quotation or poem about how birth moms may feel when making the adoption choice for their child. Then write something for the book like, "Did you know that birth moms and dads give their special DNA to their children. I'll be your beautiful smile and dark eye lashes came from your mom!"
It seems hard to imagine for many people, but adopted parents may not even know the actual birthdate of their child or where he or she was born. Rather than making a big deal out of this in the life book, write something like, "We think you were probably born sometime during the winter of 2005. The director of the orphanage said that you weighed the same as the other children born around that time."
Remember, it's the amount of love and effort that you put into the album that your child will most appreciate. As he grows older and asks questions, you can do research together to help answer questions. Until then, don't let a lack of information prevent you from creating a loving adoption scrapbook album for your child. Kids love reading about themselves and even like to make up their own stories to fill in any blanks in the story.
Adoptive families vary in the extent of information they may have about birthmother of their child. While some families actually have the birth mother over to baby sit the child occasionally, others meet at a park for a few hours each year. Other families have no relationship with the birth family, perhaps even nothing more than a name on paper if that.
Many families have two or more adopted children and the relationships of the different birthmoms with the family vary. One birthmom may be very involved, while others have no contact at all. When this happens, oftentimes a birthmom of one child will go out of her way send notes or small gifts to the sibling of the child to make sure each child feels included and loved.
When you have a relationship with a birthmom you may have any information you want for your child's adoption book. She may be eager to help out to make sure the child has a wonderful book.
If you are an adoptive mom without a lot of information about your child's birth or birth family-if any at all-don't fret. You will still design an fantastic life book that helps your child understand his or her history.
For example, one of the most essential pages of the life book is about the biological mother, but you may not even have a photograph of her. Be sure to include a quotation or poem about how birth moms may feel when making the adoption choice for their child. Then write something for the book like, "Did you know that birth moms and dads give their special DNA to their children. I'll be your beautiful smile and dark eye lashes came from your mom!"
It seems hard to imagine for many people, but adopted parents may not even know the actual birthdate of their child or where he or she was born. Rather than making a big deal out of this in the life book, write something like, "We think you were probably born sometime during the winter of 2005. The director of the orphanage said that you weighed the same as the other children born around that time."
Remember, it's the amount of love and effort that you put into the album that your child will most appreciate. As he grows older and asks questions, you can do research together to help answer questions. Until then, don't let a lack of information prevent you from creating a loving adoption scrapbook album for your child. Kids love reading about themselves and even like to make up their own stories to fill in any blanks in the story.
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