Oprah Switches from Obama to Green Tea!
A Brewster Smythe
In a stunning and unbiased move, Oprah Winfrey swung her support from Obama to Green Tea.
Although, Oprah first gave her support to green tea in 2004 after she interviewed a Dr. Perricone, author of the Perricone Prescription, a statement from an unknown source stated late last night, ( after Clinton’s win in New Hampshire) that since she has been supporting Obama she has gained ten pounds.
This cannot stand!” she has reportedly stated.
In a massive marketing campaign, millions of emails have arrived announcing Oprah’s full support of Green Tea! “In 2004 Perricone stated on the Oprah Winfrey Show that substituting green tea for coffee would lead to an easy loss of ten pounds a week.”
However, he did not state that supporting Obama would lead to an easy gain of ten pounds a week.” “Therefore, today, I am removing my support of Obama and making public my full support of Green Tea!” “Hopefully, this will remove the unwanted pounds and restore my weight to it’s prior status”.
The announcement of the change in support quickly brought comments from the pundits, bloggers, and other presidential campaigns.
Chris Matthews, long known for his love of Hillary Clinton, stated, “ I never felt that Obama needed the Oprah effect anyway, perhaps Green Tea will make a comeback!”
Bill O‘Reilly, who cursed several Obama Secret Service officials at an Obama rally has sent a note to Oprah asking for a coupon for the green tea. “I want to support the revolution!” His personal assistant said O’Reilly has suffered recently from a cluster of liplock symptoms. The assistant stated that it was his own hope that the green tea phenom could cure Bill.
The Mike Huckabee campaign communications department issued this statement, ‘ Mike Huckabee is also in full support of Green Tea, he credits it with his substantial weight loss, and states he will work on both sides of the aisle to give Green Tea its full due.”
And last, but not least, Rush Limbaugh bellowed, “Green Tea! Why would anyone want to drink that stuff when a good prescription diet pill exists!” These liberals, always looking for the healthy way out!!”
What will America think of this new development. The American pollsters are already on the run, contacting Mr. Or Mrs. Or Ms. Average American. Here is a statement from Louis Brimstone, a convenience store clerk, located in Fort Wayne, Indiana. He has been honored by his company three months in a row for saying “Thank you” to customers. Here is what Mr. Brimstone had to say; “Green tea? Obama? Who? What?” “Yes, the wife watches Oprah.”
We will see how all of this shakes out in the months to come. It is a long 10 months until the Big Day, anything can happen.
Although, Oprah first gave her support to green tea in 2004 after she interviewed a Dr. Perricone, author of the Perricone Prescription, a statement from an unknown source stated late last night, ( after Clinton’s win in New Hampshire) that since she has been supporting Obama she has gained ten pounds.
This cannot stand!” she has reportedly stated.
In a massive marketing campaign, millions of emails have arrived announcing Oprah’s full support of Green Tea! “In 2004 Perricone stated on the Oprah Winfrey Show that substituting green tea for coffee would lead to an easy loss of ten pounds a week.”
However, he did not state that supporting Obama would lead to an easy gain of ten pounds a week.” “Therefore, today, I am removing my support of Obama and making public my full support of Green Tea!” “Hopefully, this will remove the unwanted pounds and restore my weight to it’s prior status”.
The announcement of the change in support quickly brought comments from the pundits, bloggers, and other presidential campaigns.
Chris Matthews, long known for his love of Hillary Clinton, stated, “ I never felt that Obama needed the Oprah effect anyway, perhaps Green Tea will make a comeback!”
Bill O‘Reilly, who cursed several Obama Secret Service officials at an Obama rally has sent a note to Oprah asking for a coupon for the green tea. “I want to support the revolution!” His personal assistant said O’Reilly has suffered recently from a cluster of liplock symptoms. The assistant stated that it was his own hope that the green tea phenom could cure Bill.
The Mike Huckabee campaign communications department issued this statement, ‘ Mike Huckabee is also in full support of Green Tea, he credits it with his substantial weight loss, and states he will work on both sides of the aisle to give Green Tea its full due.”
And last, but not least, Rush Limbaugh bellowed, “Green Tea! Why would anyone want to drink that stuff when a good prescription diet pill exists!” These liberals, always looking for the healthy way out!!”
What will America think of this new development. The American pollsters are already on the run, contacting Mr. Or Mrs. Or Ms. Average American. Here is a statement from Louis Brimstone, a convenience store clerk, located in Fort Wayne, Indiana. He has been honored by his company three months in a row for saying “Thank you” to customers. Here is what Mr. Brimstone had to say; “Green tea? Obama? Who? What?” “Yes, the wife watches Oprah.”
We will see how all of this shakes out in the months to come. It is a long 10 months until the Big Day, anything can happen.
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