Mending a Broken Heart
Angela Rogers
December 16, 2007
Get Your Life Back SO, the person on whom you had built your hopes and dreams has unceremoniously dumped you. It's uncomfortable being a jilted star. There's a void in your life. Worse, where do you go from here? Consider these survival strategies.
Let loose Don't bottle up your feelings. Recognize and express bitterness, mortification to your diary, a family member or a trusted friend. But do be careful in your choice of confidante. An indiscreet listener can offer grist to the gossip mills and reinforce opinions about your lack of judgment and sensitivity.
Doesn’t play the blame game Allow your-self to feel disappointed, without pointing fingers, or introspecting about what should or shouldn't have been done.
Give yourself a mourning period Bawl, hit a punch bag, and take a solitary walk, but just for a few days. Then stop wallowing. Your relationship is over and does not have to ruin your entire life.
Get physical - Spin, swim, salsa, play squash - whatever gives you that dog-tired sense of well being, so the nights aren't spent tossing and turning. Pastimes also give you little time to brood during the day.
Think positive - List out your plus points and tape them onto your bathroom mirror.
Take a package tour - The more new people you meet and the more new experiences you chalk up, the less hold the past will have on you.
Axe the Ex Socialise but steer clear of your ex. The we-can-still-be-friends attitude requires time. Throw away photographs, cards, letters, and gifts. But be prepared for flashbacks. It's a mind trick. Love relationships 'live' in the limbic connections of the brain. Your brain still looks for him/her when a memory triggers those emotional connectors. They are inevitable. To overcome these moments picture a STOP SIGN. Divert yourself with a pleasurable thought or sensation.
Least said, the better You'll be asked about the why, the how and the wherefore of the split. Avoid mud slinging, vindictiveness, recrimination. The word "incompatible" is best.
Revenge is not sweet Don't get into another relationship on the rebound.
Also see: How to be friends with your ex-partner? and personality development.
Let loose Don't bottle up your feelings. Recognize and express bitterness, mortification to your diary, a family member or a trusted friend. But do be careful in your choice of confidante. An indiscreet listener can offer grist to the gossip mills and reinforce opinions about your lack of judgment and sensitivity.
Doesn’t play the blame game Allow your-self to feel disappointed, without pointing fingers, or introspecting about what should or shouldn't have been done.
Give yourself a mourning period Bawl, hit a punch bag, and take a solitary walk, but just for a few days. Then stop wallowing. Your relationship is over and does not have to ruin your entire life.
Get physical - Spin, swim, salsa, play squash - whatever gives you that dog-tired sense of well being, so the nights aren't spent tossing and turning. Pastimes also give you little time to brood during the day.
Think positive - List out your plus points and tape them onto your bathroom mirror.
Take a package tour - The more new people you meet and the more new experiences you chalk up, the less hold the past will have on you.
Axe the Ex Socialise but steer clear of your ex. The we-can-still-be-friends attitude requires time. Throw away photographs, cards, letters, and gifts. But be prepared for flashbacks. It's a mind trick. Love relationships 'live' in the limbic connections of the brain. Your brain still looks for him/her when a memory triggers those emotional connectors. They are inevitable. To overcome these moments picture a STOP SIGN. Divert yourself with a pleasurable thought or sensation.
Least said, the better You'll be asked about the why, the how and the wherefore of the split. Avoid mud slinging, vindictiveness, recrimination. The word "incompatible" is best.
Revenge is not sweet Don't get into another relationship on the rebound.
Also see: How to be friends with your ex-partner? and personality development.
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