Smell-bad paranoia or...Shower #27 is Now Ready

This is mostly a plea to those of you who have forgotten the value of taking a bath, using deodorant and wearing clean clothing; a plea to those who have bought into the idea that drenching yourself with gallons of variously scented perfumes, colognes and body splashes somehow makes you more alluring and acceptable in public. The plea is for you to please stop and think about other people´s noses before you go swimming in a pool of perfume. There are many who cross your path that have their nostrils and eyes overwhelmed with the acrid odors of whatever-the-heck-it-is that you think make you smell wonderful.

I´m probably a bit more sensitive to smells than some but I know I´m not the only one. A few nights ago, a freind and I attended a concert in town. After finding our seats, we were almost immediately enveloped in a perfume cloud so strong that by intermission, our eyes were burning and we were both nauseous. Someone seated directly in front of us was one of those who believe, when it comes to perfumes, more is better. At intermission we beat a hasty retreat to the men´s room where a cold water flush helped reduce the stinging in our eyes. We found other seats for the last part of the show. Perfumes were still noticeable but at least our eyes had stopped burning.

It seems increasingly frequent that an evening out to a movie, dinner or to a play is spoiled - or nearly so - by sitting near someone who has doused themselves with perfume or colognes. Men and women seem equally guilty. Worse yet, is to be in a crowd of multiple and conflicting odors. Often, people seem to be competing in the "smell of the month" club. Sometimes, even the person at a checkout is wearing such a massive overdose of perfume that by the time I get out of the store, my stomach is turning.

I know there is a lot of variability in how people detect and evaluate odors. What I find pleasant may not strike another person as positively. The opposite is also true. However, the perfume and cologne marketing industry has had such a smashing success at inducing body-breath-smell-anxiety that people have become fearful and even paranoid about not smelling good. They then buy millions of dollars worth of products produced by the smell-good industry in an attempt to treat their anxiety. Believing the theory that more is better, they douse themselves with copious amounts of whatever is contained in their little bottles that come labeled with exotic and promising sounding names.

To those who fit this description, again I send out a plea for myself and all others who suffer nasal burnout in public. Before going out for an evening on the town, to dinner or to a movie, please stop and consider that taking a bath with a bar of soap and lots of water, using a deodorant and wearing fresh clothing is as much as anyone needs do to insure they are not smell-offensive to others. If you wear perfumes and colognes for the benefit of others around you, please consider that a greater benefit may come by leaving the bottles in your collection tightly capped.

If it´s just you and one or two others that like the odor of your latest purchase of smell-good formula, then please douse and sniff away at home in a room with some duct tape and plastic at the windows and doors. Thanks in advance.