Reflections on Love it or Leave It

Dave Muskera, M.A.
I wrote this article in the middle months of 2003, when the Bush Administration was reaching it’s peak of popularity and many had not yet concluded that, just possibly, they had been mislead by our political leaders. How quickly we have forgotten this heated ferver-pitch of patriotism that swept the US after 9-11. Nearly every other vehicle, at least in my red part of the country, carried Wal-Mart distributed patriotic bumper stickers of one sort or another. Their faded remnants can still be seen but oddly enough, it’s been a very long time since I’ve seen the red-white and blue of a W04 oval on someone’s back car window even in this conservative part of the country. But I think we need to remember the not-to-distant past in the hopes that we can avoid repeating such a sad chapter. In that spirit, I offer: Do you remember the.......

Flag Wavers -

Across the US an almost hysterical form of patriotism has taken over in some quarters. Somewhat reminiscent of the McCarthy era, it has now become “un-American” and near treasonous for a citizen to voice any opposition what-so-ever to the current Administration and its foreign or domestic policies. “Support our troops” has become a rallying cry for numerous parades and patriotic events.

As a counseling psychologist, treating families and individuals since the mid-1960s, I can’t help but reflect on some history that many current flag-wavers have either forgotten or never knew.

The McCarthy era has no meaning for them and they have forgotten how it was that a man named Hitler came to power by violently suppressing any opposition or verbal resistance. The banning of the Dixie Chicks and the burning of their CDs is, in a small way, reminiscent of the burning of books by the Nazis as they came to power. It seems nearly incomprehensible and very scary that in this “free” country, citizens have been frightened into silence for fear of reprisals and being called unpatriotic for expressing views that are in opposition to the President or some of the chest-thumping flag-waving parade goers.

What short memories we have. No one seems to remember much the Vietnam War and the Vietnam veteran: While I did not serve in that conflict, many a young man, following the call of his country and Commander-in-Chief, trudged into the jungles of that country to engage an elusive enemy in an ongoing drawn-out war that makes the Iraqi theater look like maneuvers.

When Vietnam was finally over, the body count for US military was 58,202! Of these, 61% were 21 or younger. West Virginia, at 84% for every 100,000 males in 1970, earned the dubious honor of contributing more of its young men to the fodder of war than any other state in the nation! 75,000 men and women were severely disabled, another 23,214 were 100% disabled and over 1,000 sustained multiple amputations. Indeed, amputations caused by crippling wounds to the lower limbs were 300% higher than in WWII and 70% higher than in Korea! 76% of the men sent to Vietnam were from lower middle/working class backgrounds.

When a soldier came home from Vietnam, there were few heroes’ welcomes. Hometowns did not tie ribbons on trees, hold rallies nor arrange parades. Instead, many vets and troops on leave learned to pack up their uniforms before leaving base and traveling across country to home. Those that did not, risked being spat on, yelled at and called baby-killers! I heard similar stories from the mouths of the many veterans that I was privileged to try to help in counseling sessions throughout the 1970s and 1980s. For hours I sat and listened to the despair and depression of these men as they described the horrors of war and their anger at America for not supporting them. They too were only doing what they were ordered to do by the government! Where were the chest-thumpers then? What was America doing as so many of its young men spilled their last ounce of blood into the muddy waters of some rice-patty?


Looking at Iraq, it seems America finds it much easier to love a short war: a war in which the enemy is so overpowered and outgunned that the immediate outcome is not in dispute. The Iraqi pounding took less than 30 days and while even one death is too much, the US casualty list is less than 200. Yet America is nearly convulsing in its patriotic fervor! What pride can we take in “besting” this weak enemy? Is our anger and despair over 9-11 sufficient to justify the killing of more innocent civilians. What did that young Iraqi boy with those large brown fearful eyes and his leg blow-off have to do with 9-11?

We seem not to want to hear that there may have been other motives for this war than what was given press on the nightly news. We seem to have unending patience for the discovery of “weapons of mass destruction” that we have been assured, time-and-again, “are there”. You would think that over 200,000 collation troops might have uncovered some by now. No, what we have found is millions (possibly billions) of dollars mostly in US denominations in a country that supposedly has been under economic sanctions for years! No WMDs - but lots of oil and money! Doesn’t that make you think?

Someone I spoke with recently suggested that America is trying to make up for its abysmal treatment of the men and women who served in Vietnam. Others have pointed out that, like a wounded animal, America is striking out in rage and furry over the losses of 9-11. America needed an identified target and since we could not locate Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein was a convenient substitute. The fact that he was in charge of the 2nd highest producing oil country in the world had nothing to do with it. Or so we are told.

But America should be better than this! We cannot allow ourselves to sink to the level of a schoolyard bully who, because they are bigger and stronger, can subjugate anyone who dares to disagree.

Many believe the United States has violated International Law by its actions in Iraq. We condemned Russia for doing something similar but seem to think the rules should not apply to us. This is folly and will, in the world theater, eventually boomerang.

But possibly of equal importance, we need to live up to our own stated standards of free speech and allow that not all citizens are enthralled with our current President nor approving of his every whim: and being so does not make a citizen disloyal, a traitor nor a villain! Such folk are our neighbors and friends and are only Americans exercising that which the Constitution guaranteed. They should not be made to fear for their safety if they speak out! We dare not allow ourselves to return to the days of Hitler or McCarthy: a traitor behind every lamppost and a communist in every closet!

Let’s resist the urge to be a world bully. Surly after 225 years of existence, this country can be more mature than that. We need to embrace our diversity and remember that, when it comes to politics and money, a little skepticism is an essential thing for a people to remain free. We need to question and demand sensible answers from all levels of government. To not do so grants kingly powers and there are no Kings in this country, at least not as of yet.
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Dave Muskera, M.A.

After 40 or so years of clinical, teaching and administrative practice as a psychologist, I am now semi-retired, or at least - trying to be. In addition to private practice and work in various mental health settings, I also taught undergraduate psychology courses full-time before later specializing in diagnostic services.

I live with my cat "Tazzy" in a gracefully aged old brick inner-city house located in a small university town on the Ohio River. About an hour into the country of nearby eastern Kentucky, I keep a get-a-way cabin on 16 private acres. As often as possible, I escape there to write or just relax.

I pen mostly political, religious and social opinion/satire pieces...with occasional attempts at humor. When writing about gay related topics, I bring to bear not only my experiences as an out gay man for the past 19 years, but also that of having been long-time married in the prior times of my "first life". I have two children and a granddaughter. We are all close. My Ex-wife, a gracious good lady, remains a very dear and trusted friend. The same is true of my ex-partner of 12 years.

The family grieved at the tragic loss of Jon-Michael, my 8 month old grandson who died in Feb. 2008 of a rare form of brain tumor (ATRT). Two of my articles are about this terrible event. Still, out of this glooming sadness has come a re-bonding between me and my only son. During this family journey, we rediscovered each other.

My major project for 2008-09 is to ready for publication my finished manuscript "Babe In The Ironwoods - The Adventures and Misadventures of an Ex-Married Gay Psychologist". I call it a "memoir of sorts" because it both recounts the years of my "coming out" and, as well, attempts to shed light on the myths and misunderstandings held by so many good and decent people regarding homosexuality and contemporary gay issues.

Email with your questions/comments - (good or not so good). I love hearing from people all over the world. I´ll try to answer all inquiries.