Sell More by Making it About Them

A while ago I was talking with a good friend about fundraising for nonprofits. In the course of our conversation he said something memorable. He said his experience with person to person fundraising can be summed up in this phrase:

Ask for money, you get advice. Ask for advice, you get money.”

I like this because it reminds us we shouldn’t focus on what we want. We need to focus on the other person first.

In the nonprofit world, too many people walk around with their hands out all the time. Every one they meet gets asked for money. Every contact, every conversation becomes an “ask”. And they do ask.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you shouldn’t ask people to do things or to make decisions. You should.

But, to be most effective, you need to ask at the right time.

I had breakfast with a guy recently. We had not met before. We were connected through a mutual friend. Our meeting was to get to know each other and see if there was any interest in him (and his company) getting involved in the nonprofit I work with.

Before we were done, he thanked me for not asking for money. He said of course money would be part of the relationship. It’s almost a given. But he also said he was tired of nonprofit people always asking for money right away. Their sole focus seems to be to get a check as soon as possible.

In other words, it’s all about them.

When we jump to the close (or ‘ask’, if you’re a fundraiser) too quickly, we risk blowing the deal. We risk having them say ‘no’ because they’re not ready to say ‘yes’. Worse, we risk derailing what might be a long-term valuable relationship because we appear greedy or needy, in their eyes.

If you ask for the sale before a person is ready to buy, you won’t get the sale. You’ll get a lot of reasons, but no sale. And you’ll have shown them you either don’t understand them, or you don’t care what role they play in the process. You’ll risk them thinking you’re only concerned about what you want.

Instead, make it all about them.

If you focus on helping the other person get what they want, you’ll be able to build a relationship that works for everyone. Then you’ll know when the time is right to ask for the sale. You might not have to ask. They’ll tell you. That’s the most natural sale in the world.