80-Year-Old Man Locks Girlfriend In Trailer

"An 80-year-old man accused of locking his girlfriend in a camper trailer has been sentenced to probation and ordered to attend an anger management class when he returns home to Oregon."

This odd story from the Reuters wire makes you go "hm".

The first thing that caught my attention is that the 80-year-old geezer has a girlfriend. I imagine a Depends-clad octogenarian vegetating in front of a TV, aiming his remote control at the alarm clock as he desperately attempts to change the channel.

But with the advent of Viagra, every old coot imagines himself the stud of the rest home. You go old man, I'm glad you aren't shooting blanks.

The old guy locked his girlfriend in a camper trailer; maybe that's the only way an octogenarian can keep a girlfriend for any length of time.

The idea of an 80-year-old goat taking an anger management class simply does not compute. When you reach the ripe old age of 80, your habits and temperament are set in stone. There is no way in hell that taking a class will make a senior citizen change his pugnacious ways.

I'm glad the old codger wasn't sentenced to a 30-day jail term; at his advanced age he may not have that many days left.

My next essay may be about the metaphysical implications of quantum theory, but I had to get this one out of my system.