When a Child Reacts to the Energy Around Them
Tara Paterson
September 14, 2007
"All humans are storytellers with their own unique point of view. When we understand this, we no longer feel the need to impose our story on others or to defend what we believe.” –don Miguel Ruiz
I have been aware for some time, of the sensitivity my six year old son- Caden, has to the energy around him. From a very early age we knew we needed to handle this child with kid gloves; being aware of how he was affected by someone raising their voice to him, or turbulence in his environment. At age three, Caden began seeing colors in his room at bedtime and by kindergarten, he would come home describing the colors he saw around the other children and his teachers. He knew based on the color he saw around someone what they were feeling.
I soon began to notice that he would verbalize what I was thinking or if I was stressed or anxious about something, he would begin saying things related to the topic I was bothered by. For instance, our financial situation had been a bit strained due to the housing market’s downward turn. Caden started referring to money more often and would comment on how he wouldn’t be able to have thus and such. I was subtly becoming aware of this child’s ability to read the energy around him without the need for language or in some cases even expression. It became the most apparent to me however, during a time my husband and I went away for coach training and returned to two very unhappy sons. It was at this most upsetting time, I saw most accurately how children perceive the energy around them and the different ways they react to it.
A friend of ours, whom had watched our three kids for us in the past, watched them for us to attend our training in Texas. At night when I would talk to the kids, mostly our oldest son Adam, he would seem tense and anxious for us to return home. This wouldn’t be an unusual occurrence for a child to miss his parents, but in addition to that, Caden wasn’t interested in talking to us much at all. When we did talk to him, he would complain of an upset stomach. Adam added to my concern when he said Caden didn’t look good and wasn’t going to the bathroom. I equated it at the time to being over tired as school had just ended and I knew they were on the go most of the day. The night before our return home however, Adam emphatically stated he wanted to talk to me about Jean. I attempted to pull the information out of him on the phone, but to no avail.
To make a long story short, when we returned home, the first thing Adam said when he saw us was he needed to talk to us about Jean. So once we settled in we heard an ear full about how horrible the four days had been. Adam’s expression was one of anger and to some degree rage over how they had been treated. Caden’s reaction came out that night when I put him to bed, in the form of emotional turmoil. It took me over an hour to help him regain his center. I realized how much our kids had been affected by this experience and not in a positive way.
It is not uncommon for Caden to exhibit physical symptoms when he has had a reaction to energy, especially if it is volatile in nature. He had had a stomach ache for most of the time we were away and said he could see red around Jean. Both Adam and Caden’s reaction was so unlike any reaction they had ever had toward anyone before and this was someone they deeply liked. In that moment I became aware of how each of my children reacted to the core energy Jean felt during this time. My older son’s reaction to the energy came in the form of acting out; anger; disrespect; and lack of tolerance for her behavior. For Caden, the affect was on a deeper emotional level due to his ability to read the core of her anger which scared him and caused him tremendous physical discomfort. We are becoming more aware of the affect parents or adults have on a child when they take out their emotional energy on children, which occurred in this situation. In this example, Jean used coercion; threats; yelled at them; and even used cuss words in their presence. This was disheartening to our children because they respected and liked her so. Although this was an unpleasant experience for our children, it allowed me to view the different ways my children react to and process the energy around them. It also offered us an opportunity to open up dialogue for how to manage and move through situations which cause us upset or discomfort.
I am forever amazed at the deeper level of understanding my children bring forth to enhance my consciousness. Just recently, I was feeling some disconnect with Adam because of the lax summer schedule. In my frustration to understand his behavior, I casually asked the question- “what do I do,” out loud in the presence of my 20 month old daughter. She looked at me with these eyes of clarity and nuzzled her head into my chest followed by a sweet, loving hug. In that moment it occurred to me that she understood what I was saying and responded with the answer- love. Oh, to have the wisdom and insight of a toddler again. Her response melted my expectations about how a ten year old should act and softened the interaction I had with him later that day. If we pay attention to the clues our children give to us and observe the way they react to energy around them, we would learn to create a much more peaceful, harmonious environment not only for ourselves, but the world around us. “What we see depends mainly on what we look for.”
James Lubbock
(The name of the caretaker in this article was changed to preserve integrity).
I have been aware for some time, of the sensitivity my six year old son- Caden, has to the energy around him. From a very early age we knew we needed to handle this child with kid gloves; being aware of how he was affected by someone raising their voice to him, or turbulence in his environment. At age three, Caden began seeing colors in his room at bedtime and by kindergarten, he would come home describing the colors he saw around the other children and his teachers. He knew based on the color he saw around someone what they were feeling.
I soon began to notice that he would verbalize what I was thinking or if I was stressed or anxious about something, he would begin saying things related to the topic I was bothered by. For instance, our financial situation had been a bit strained due to the housing market’s downward turn. Caden started referring to money more often and would comment on how he wouldn’t be able to have thus and such. I was subtly becoming aware of this child’s ability to read the energy around him without the need for language or in some cases even expression. It became the most apparent to me however, during a time my husband and I went away for coach training and returned to two very unhappy sons. It was at this most upsetting time, I saw most accurately how children perceive the energy around them and the different ways they react to it.
A friend of ours, whom had watched our three kids for us in the past, watched them for us to attend our training in Texas. At night when I would talk to the kids, mostly our oldest son Adam, he would seem tense and anxious for us to return home. This wouldn’t be an unusual occurrence for a child to miss his parents, but in addition to that, Caden wasn’t interested in talking to us much at all. When we did talk to him, he would complain of an upset stomach. Adam added to my concern when he said Caden didn’t look good and wasn’t going to the bathroom. I equated it at the time to being over tired as school had just ended and I knew they were on the go most of the day. The night before our return home however, Adam emphatically stated he wanted to talk to me about Jean. I attempted to pull the information out of him on the phone, but to no avail.
To make a long story short, when we returned home, the first thing Adam said when he saw us was he needed to talk to us about Jean. So once we settled in we heard an ear full about how horrible the four days had been. Adam’s expression was one of anger and to some degree rage over how they had been treated. Caden’s reaction came out that night when I put him to bed, in the form of emotional turmoil. It took me over an hour to help him regain his center. I realized how much our kids had been affected by this experience and not in a positive way.
It is not uncommon for Caden to exhibit physical symptoms when he has had a reaction to energy, especially if it is volatile in nature. He had had a stomach ache for most of the time we were away and said he could see red around Jean. Both Adam and Caden’s reaction was so unlike any reaction they had ever had toward anyone before and this was someone they deeply liked. In that moment I became aware of how each of my children reacted to the core energy Jean felt during this time. My older son’s reaction to the energy came in the form of acting out; anger; disrespect; and lack of tolerance for her behavior. For Caden, the affect was on a deeper emotional level due to his ability to read the core of her anger which scared him and caused him tremendous physical discomfort. We are becoming more aware of the affect parents or adults have on a child when they take out their emotional energy on children, which occurred in this situation. In this example, Jean used coercion; threats; yelled at them; and even used cuss words in their presence. This was disheartening to our children because they respected and liked her so. Although this was an unpleasant experience for our children, it allowed me to view the different ways my children react to and process the energy around them. It also offered us an opportunity to open up dialogue for how to manage and move through situations which cause us upset or discomfort.
I am forever amazed at the deeper level of understanding my children bring forth to enhance my consciousness. Just recently, I was feeling some disconnect with Adam because of the lax summer schedule. In my frustration to understand his behavior, I casually asked the question- “what do I do,” out loud in the presence of my 20 month old daughter. She looked at me with these eyes of clarity and nuzzled her head into my chest followed by a sweet, loving hug. In that moment it occurred to me that she understood what I was saying and responded with the answer- love. Oh, to have the wisdom and insight of a toddler again. Her response melted my expectations about how a ten year old should act and softened the interaction I had with him later that day. If we pay attention to the clues our children give to us and observe the way they react to energy around them, we would learn to create a much more peaceful, harmonious environment not only for ourselves, but the world around us. “What we see depends mainly on what we look for.”
James Lubbock
(The name of the caretaker in this article was changed to preserve integrity).
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