Keeping Relationships Sexy

Sexual attraction may bring two people together, but sexual attraction certainly won't keep them together.

Marriages and other permanent relationships will only last for the long haul when they have been built on a solid foundation of compatibility and friendship.

If you're married or have committed yourself to a long-term relationship based entirely on great sex, all I can say is...boy, are you in trouble. Eventually, you have to get out of that bed and cope with the rest of the world.

And the rest of the world will inevitably put all sorts of stressful demands on your relationship, which will cause the sexiness in it to fluctuate like crazy.

Life is Basically Unsexy

Face it, bills and debt are not sexy. Long hours on the job can make us too tired for all that Olympic sex we used to enjoy. Having kids can take the spontaneity out of passion literally for years!

This is where having something else going for ourselves, like true compatibility and the understanding naturally attached to it, makes these rough, very unsexy periods in our lives easier to cope with as we search for ways to achieve passion in our relationships once again.

Keeping your marriage/relationship sexy isn't really all that difficult. It doesn't mean you have to become kinky or far-fetched in the lengths you must go to in order to reach heights of ecstasy after years of living together.

You don't have to scream and shout that you need attention - if your relationship has started off on the right foot, and you are willing to show consideration and compassion for one another when passion between you fluctuates.

In plain English, it's about putting in the time and making the effort to keep yourselves sexy for each other in some very basic ways.

Keeping that Relationship Sexy!

Here are a few tips I've learned as a result of the years I've spent studying Personal Prophesy, the method I use for perceiving the future from ordinary playing cards.

1) Keep yourself looking just as good today as you did before you walked down the aisle together "way back when."

This isn't just a tip for the ladies. You guys out there especially need to pay attention here.

I'm not suggesting that you have to look like movie stars 24 hours a day, but we could all improve in the "appearance department" to be more visually pleasing to the partners we love and have committed ourselves to.

Put effort into getting back into the same physical shape you were in previously. Strive to stay active and in shape, to dress attractively and to practice good hygiene (guys, especially) at the end of your workday.

It's too easy to get lazy about dressing well and to let yourself "go" weight-wise, thinking appearance isn't that important any longer.

It is important. Looking good makes your partner see you as an attractive, sexy, arousing mate. Arousal is just as crucial to the sexiness in your relationship outside of the bedroom as it is in it.

2) Make an agreement that your bedroom is your own personal Garden of Eden where arguments, kid problems, bills, family battles, work issues, etc are not allowed.

When you go to bed, tell yourself you are going to bed with your lover - not the stressed out, cranky husband or wife who tends to work too many hours, doesn't make enough money, or didn't get the chores done on time.

This is the place where the two of you nurture your love, not find new ways to test its endurance.

3) Fantasize with each other! Keep your sexual lives a living, growing and beautiful thing between the two of you - day after day, year after year.

Act out fantasy scenarios together, send fantasy gifts and letters to each other. Strive to keep what brought you together in the beginning a wonderful, life-long intimacy that belongs to no one but the two of you.

4) When all else fails during those times when you are both too busy, stressed out or just not spending as much time intimately as you can afford to spend together, agree on a special code phrase between you for those moments.

It might be something like, "I need 10 or 20 or 30, hon," meaning, "I need that much of your undivided attention right now to share alone with you."

Or: "We definitely need to go and discuss acid rain, the situation has only gotten worse this week," if children or others happen to be within earshot.

Whatever signal phrase you choose, be sure to use it as often and as freely as you need to.

Having that loving "time out" to rely on with each other will help to nurture your relationship during the difficult periods that inevitably plague all long-term relationships.

Yes, there will be ups and downs, periods of occasional fluctuation where sexiness in your relationship is concerned.

But if you work at it and don't allow the rest of the world and its problems to steal it away from you, you can keep your relationship passionately sexy for years to come.