Thank You, Mr. Bush

I have never been one to put a happy face on things. I am a cynic, through and though. The other day, however, I realized that despite my usual predilection for pessimism, I need to take some time and thank our current administration. In the tradition of Thanksgiving, I took a moment and wrote down everything for which I should thank Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney and the rest of the gang.

Thanks to George Bush II:

I can locate any place in Iraq (indeed, in the Middle East) based on its distance and direction from Baghdad. ("There was an insurgent attack today in the village of Kublai Khan, located 320 miles northeast of Baghdad...")

I know more about the Bill of Rights (and which parts of it I get to keep) than I ever did before.

When my relatives in Europe talk with me, they ask me on a regular basis, "What were you thinking? America elected him twice?"

I have learned a lot about economics. Unlike what I had previously thought, a government can continue to spend and spend and spend, and at the same time cut its income by endless tax cuts, and not have to worry about ever repaying the debt incurred.

I have learned a new definition of accountability. It doesn't matter if you have done something legally or morally questionable, as long as you have friends in high places. In fact, you may be completely incompetent, but if you have friends that are highly enough placed, you may even receive a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

I now realize that warfare is infinitely more important than education.

I know now that in order to rule this country, you don’t need to be well-spoken or well-versed in current events, just well-connected..

I have found that if you try hard enough, almost anything bad that happens in the world can be blamed on terrorism.

I have been reminded that power corrupts.

I have learned that “democracy” is a relative term, and that it can be forced upon any country, at any time, without warning.

I have revised my estimation of the validity of the popular vote, and of the electoral system.

And lastly, Mr. Bush, thank you for teaching me how fine a line it is that separates patriotism from fascism, and how easy it really is to cross that line. I must remember to remain vigilant and protect my family and friends from falling into that black hole of ignorance and apathy upon which Mr. Bush and his cronies thrive.