Domestic Violence . . .is it still really a big deal?
Steve Kovacs
July 18, 2007
What’s all the fuss about regarding domestic violence in the United States anyway? After all, in this day and age, people in some countries beat their wives on a regular basis and it’s quite accepted by their general population. So, here in the United States, are we making too much of a fuss regarding domestic violence? No we’re not. On the contrary we should make sure we keep vigilant against it no matter what some other backward countries may be doing or accepting.
In numerous cases men are still using women in America as pieces of property with limited rights. There are many who do not “let” their wives or girlfriends shop by themselves or severely limit the time they are “allowed” to be out and about by themselves. They use scores of ways such as name-calling, humiliation and criticizing to break them down psychologically in an effort to control them. “You’re stupid” or “you can’t make it without me” are common lines droned in to many women regularly, to control them. They keep them from relatives, friends and in many cases even from work. And of course, there are the ones who take their control even further by physically assaulting.
Socio-economic boundaries really have little to do with it. I knew an attractive, well-to-do woman in her early thirties whom at times moved in high society circles and actually dated a famous Prince before settling down with a “regular guy”. Well, this “regular” guy beat her so severely one night that she told me if police had not intervened when they did, she would have been killed. It was that close for her. Her face looked as though she had gone 12 rounds with the heavyweight champion of the world.
Laws protecting women in the U.S. have drastically improved in the last ten years or so, however, domestic abuse is still a major problem across the country. All you have to do is to listen to local or national news to hear of another woman killed by her “crazed” boyfriend or husband or hear of another domestic violence arrest being made. And take it from me, a former police officer who still has close ties to law enforcement--it still happens all the time, much more often than the average person thinks.
So what must women do to restrict domestic violence? There are several keys to understand, believe and follow:
There is nothing you can do or say that merits someone hitting or beating you up. Nothing! They can divorce you, leave you, or call the police on you. They do not, however, have the right to strike you. You are not a child who needs to be disciplined. You are an adult and no one has the right to physically harm you short of for self-defense reasons. That is the first thing to know, believe and remember. It is the truth.
You must not accept one bit of physical abuse from your partner.
If assaulted, get out or call the police. If you get out, stay away until your partner is actually getting psychological help. Domestic abusers are apt to re-offend without counseling.
If you are regularly being humiliated, criticized and over-controlled, seek help.
Unquestionably, contact and utilize the help available from the many organizations out there for women in need. Look in your local phone book or call information and ask for organizations that help domestic violence victims in your area, or utilize the National organizations listed below:
1. The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
2. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network: 1.800.656.HOPE (4673)
There are two bottom lines here. The first being domestic abuse is alive and well in the United States. The second one is that no one; man, woman or child deserves to live in abuse. All people, no matter who they are, have to believe they do not deserve an abusive lifestyle. Some victims may not believe this to be true, however, it unquestionably is, and with proper help they too can understand its truth.
If you happen to be a victim, remember you’re part of a large group, you’re not alone. Be one of those who take action. Action towards getting help—do it now.
In numerous cases men are still using women in America as pieces of property with limited rights. There are many who do not “let” their wives or girlfriends shop by themselves or severely limit the time they are “allowed” to be out and about by themselves. They use scores of ways such as name-calling, humiliation and criticizing to break them down psychologically in an effort to control them. “You’re stupid” or “you can’t make it without me” are common lines droned in to many women regularly, to control them. They keep them from relatives, friends and in many cases even from work. And of course, there are the ones who take their control even further by physically assaulting.
Socio-economic boundaries really have little to do with it. I knew an attractive, well-to-do woman in her early thirties whom at times moved in high society circles and actually dated a famous Prince before settling down with a “regular guy”. Well, this “regular” guy beat her so severely one night that she told me if police had not intervened when they did, she would have been killed. It was that close for her. Her face looked as though she had gone 12 rounds with the heavyweight champion of the world.
Laws protecting women in the U.S. have drastically improved in the last ten years or so, however, domestic abuse is still a major problem across the country. All you have to do is to listen to local or national news to hear of another woman killed by her “crazed” boyfriend or husband or hear of another domestic violence arrest being made. And take it from me, a former police officer who still has close ties to law enforcement--it still happens all the time, much more often than the average person thinks.
So what must women do to restrict domestic violence? There are several keys to understand, believe and follow:
There is nothing you can do or say that merits someone hitting or beating you up. Nothing! They can divorce you, leave you, or call the police on you. They do not, however, have the right to strike you. You are not a child who needs to be disciplined. You are an adult and no one has the right to physically harm you short of for self-defense reasons. That is the first thing to know, believe and remember. It is the truth.
You must not accept one bit of physical abuse from your partner.
If assaulted, get out or call the police. If you get out, stay away until your partner is actually getting psychological help. Domestic abusers are apt to re-offend without counseling.
If you are regularly being humiliated, criticized and over-controlled, seek help.
Unquestionably, contact and utilize the help available from the many organizations out there for women in need. Look in your local phone book or call information and ask for organizations that help domestic violence victims in your area, or utilize the National organizations listed below:
1. The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
2. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network: 1.800.656.HOPE (4673)
There are two bottom lines here. The first being domestic abuse is alive and well in the United States. The second one is that no one; man, woman or child deserves to live in abuse. All people, no matter who they are, have to believe they do not deserve an abusive lifestyle. Some victims may not believe this to be true, however, it unquestionably is, and with proper help they too can understand its truth.
If you happen to be a victim, remember you’re part of a large group, you’re not alone. Be one of those who take action. Action towards getting help—do it now.
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