Where is All The Simpsons Movie Merchandise Just One Month Before The Movie Hits Theaters
Timothy Sexton
June 27, 2007
Okay, as I write this the date is June 27th, 2007. In exactly one month The Simpsons Movie hits theaters. Just one month away. And yet when I go to Target or Walmart or Toys R Us do I see any merchandise related to The Simpsons Movie? I have yet to see a toy or even a T-shirt related the movie. It would be nice to say that that makers of the Simpsons have a history of proving they are beyond cashing in their cow, but let’s face it, The Simpsons is one of the king of merchandise licensing.
How long before Spiderman 3 hit theaters were the stores overflowing with the red and black of the Spiderman toy franchise? Six months? At least three. And they are actually producing more Star Wars merchandise despite the fact that there no more movies being made. What goes on here? As anyone who has checked out my video trilogy that details all things Simpsons I own can attest, I gleefully toss out all my anticonsumerist tendencies when it comes down to the Our Favorite Family. I want to see more Simpsons merchandise, not less.
I understand the idea of not wanting to give away the plot by releasing merchandise that shows the characters in movie situations, but give me a break. Surely, the greedy guts at Fox and those associated with the show itself can come up with a shirt or a figure that gives nothing away. The Simpsons Movie is the most eagerly awaited cinematic event of the summer for many of us; I can take or leave Spiderman, I eagerly offer you Pirates of the Caribbean, I am pretty much over Shrek and what number is Ocean up to now? Who cares? Give me The Simpsons on the big screen. I’ve waited long enough; I’ve been patient. First you tease me by putting that life-sized display inside the local theater, urging me to contemplate a strategy for what I can only assume would be considered grand larceny, and then you compound the evil by not giving me a toy-sized version of it?
Matt Groening, I’ve stuck with you through your worst episode ever—Two Bad Neighbors—and allowing Joe Millionaire to do a guest voice. I stick up for you against all those clueless individuals who say that your show is past its prime without also adding that even so it is still by far the only must-see show on TV. I eagerly take on anybody who tries to stake the ludicrous claim that Family Guy even has the right to exist in the same dimension as The Simpsons. But now even I am reaching the breaking point.
You have exactly one month left. It seems to me that I can remember seeing Jurassic Park merchandise nearly a year before the movie was released. Now, with just thirty days left and counting, I expect to be rewarded for my loyalty beyond merely being entertained for thirty minutes most Sunday nights between November and August. I don’t ask for much from you because I feel you have more than fulfilled your end of the understood contract between creative artist and fan. I give you nothing except money spent on DVDs and merchandise. And I get a respite from the unrelentingly bleak landscape that is American television in the 21st century in return. But now I have a request.
Please, please, produce some Simpsons merchandise before the movie comes out. If for no other reason than to clear off the shelves that intensely unfunny Baby Stewie merchandise.
Ha, if that doesn’t get him, nothing will.
How long before Spiderman 3 hit theaters were the stores overflowing with the red and black of the Spiderman toy franchise? Six months? At least three. And they are actually producing more Star Wars merchandise despite the fact that there no more movies being made. What goes on here? As anyone who has checked out my video trilogy that details all things Simpsons I own can attest, I gleefully toss out all my anticonsumerist tendencies when it comes down to the Our Favorite Family. I want to see more Simpsons merchandise, not less.
I understand the idea of not wanting to give away the plot by releasing merchandise that shows the characters in movie situations, but give me a break. Surely, the greedy guts at Fox and those associated with the show itself can come up with a shirt or a figure that gives nothing away. The Simpsons Movie is the most eagerly awaited cinematic event of the summer for many of us; I can take or leave Spiderman, I eagerly offer you Pirates of the Caribbean, I am pretty much over Shrek and what number is Ocean up to now? Who cares? Give me The Simpsons on the big screen. I’ve waited long enough; I’ve been patient. First you tease me by putting that life-sized display inside the local theater, urging me to contemplate a strategy for what I can only assume would be considered grand larceny, and then you compound the evil by not giving me a toy-sized version of it?
Matt Groening, I’ve stuck with you through your worst episode ever—Two Bad Neighbors—and allowing Joe Millionaire to do a guest voice. I stick up for you against all those clueless individuals who say that your show is past its prime without also adding that even so it is still by far the only must-see show on TV. I eagerly take on anybody who tries to stake the ludicrous claim that Family Guy even has the right to exist in the same dimension as The Simpsons. But now even I am reaching the breaking point.
You have exactly one month left. It seems to me that I can remember seeing Jurassic Park merchandise nearly a year before the movie was released. Now, with just thirty days left and counting, I expect to be rewarded for my loyalty beyond merely being entertained for thirty minutes most Sunday nights between November and August. I don’t ask for much from you because I feel you have more than fulfilled your end of the understood contract between creative artist and fan. I give you nothing except money spent on DVDs and merchandise. And I get a respite from the unrelentingly bleak landscape that is American television in the 21st century in return. But now I have a request.
Please, please, produce some Simpsons merchandise before the movie comes out. If for no other reason than to clear off the shelves that intensely unfunny Baby Stewie merchandise.
Ha, if that doesn’t get him, nothing will.
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