Can Too Much Alone Time Affect One's New Relationship?
Judy Ramsook
October 19, 2005
If one has been searching for that special some one for a while, give or take a few years without yielding any favourable results, that person might think he/she was meant to be alone.
And say one does end up spending many a Friday and Saturday night alone at home watching something on television, reading or whatever he/she chooses to do to pass the time.
But one day while that individual is out, he/she happens to encounter some one he/she would like to get to know better.
So as the person embarks on that first telephone conversation with the person at the other end of the call, maybe enthusiasm is not one of the things one is feeling.
Then as the call ends, the person who had been without a romantic liasion/partner for a few years starts to wonder why he/she was not enthusiastic about speaking to the individual he/she just met about what they should do or where they should go on their first date. Has all that alone time made one sort of cold when it comes to matters of the heart? Or can it?
And what could bring on such aloof behaviour, is it fear of disappointment? Fear of being hurt or just the thought of spending time with some one new, especially in the beginning stages of one’s association with another individual, and this could come in many forms.
Such as repeating the early history of one’s childhood, where he/she grew up, attended school, informing the new person in one’s life about his/her likes/dislikes.
And yes, even though that Friday night might not be so free anymore, one may miss staying in for the first Friday evening in who knows how long. For now, one has to get dressed and go out with that new person he/she just met.
And as one says good bye to his/her lonely weekends and nights, he/she wonders whether or not he/she is ready for a new relationship, for things seemed so much simpler when he/she was alone.
Like he/she did not have anyone with whom to disagree about a certain matter, be it a political viewpoint or something else, and it had been a while too, since one had to carefully read the movie section of the newspaper in search of an out of the house type of entertainment. For when one was alone, if he/she wanted to watch a movie, he/she just went to the cinema without having to wonder what another individual might want to watch.
Usually, most people are happy to have some one new to do things with, or for companionship purposes, and although some persons in our midst may not be ready to begin a new association with another human being, they still try whether they fear disappointment, incompatibility, or being hurt.
And say one does end up spending many a Friday and Saturday night alone at home watching something on television, reading or whatever he/she chooses to do to pass the time.
But one day while that individual is out, he/she happens to encounter some one he/she would like to get to know better.
So as the person embarks on that first telephone conversation with the person at the other end of the call, maybe enthusiasm is not one of the things one is feeling.
Then as the call ends, the person who had been without a romantic liasion/partner for a few years starts to wonder why he/she was not enthusiastic about speaking to the individual he/she just met about what they should do or where they should go on their first date. Has all that alone time made one sort of cold when it comes to matters of the heart? Or can it?
And what could bring on such aloof behaviour, is it fear of disappointment? Fear of being hurt or just the thought of spending time with some one new, especially in the beginning stages of one’s association with another individual, and this could come in many forms.
Such as repeating the early history of one’s childhood, where he/she grew up, attended school, informing the new person in one’s life about his/her likes/dislikes.
And yes, even though that Friday night might not be so free anymore, one may miss staying in for the first Friday evening in who knows how long. For now, one has to get dressed and go out with that new person he/she just met.
And as one says good bye to his/her lonely weekends and nights, he/she wonders whether or not he/she is ready for a new relationship, for things seemed so much simpler when he/she was alone.
Like he/she did not have anyone with whom to disagree about a certain matter, be it a political viewpoint or something else, and it had been a while too, since one had to carefully read the movie section of the newspaper in search of an out of the house type of entertainment. For when one was alone, if he/she wanted to watch a movie, he/she just went to the cinema without having to wonder what another individual might want to watch.
Usually, most people are happy to have some one new to do things with, or for companionship purposes, and although some persons in our midst may not be ready to begin a new association with another human being, they still try whether they fear disappointment, incompatibility, or being hurt.
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