Invitation
Monica King
October 18, 2005
Dear Readers,
This is an open letter to you you have developed or already had inherent within you, the courage to stick with my story to this point in time.
For the sake of the dignity & privacy of my own children, my own parents, my own friends, & the marvelous team of counselors, doctors, & friends, detectives, law enforcement agents, all those saints who have likewise been walking as sacred vessels, sharing the confidences of this encounter, faithfully; valiantly, who have been the links in my own chain of survival nearly two years ago now, I am not willing to reveal this story any further than I have to the public in this forum.
The inspiration to do so at this point has come from California, the southern coast, from the ripple effects this had had on some very dear friends who have been deeply affected, & who have not had a chance to see me at all since it occurred.
"Time in divided doses is what this patient needs" a friend of mine from long, long, ago, a Dr. Michael Pohl in New Zealand would say to me as we made rounds together in a small community hospital in Te Kuiti, a little town similar to the little town of Concord where my children grew up. A town the father of my children & I stayed in when we first spanned the globe together with our own bouncing, bubbly wee one in tow.
Where our daughter was conceived.
One of the things I personally, as the Mom here in all this, have been determined to do, is avoid the kind of cannibalism that has occurred on a regular basis in the media when a story like this, as factually accurate as I have faithfully rendered up to this point in time IS, results by allowing the media to "buy it".
For ratings. To fascinate the vulture-like curiosity of those who like unfeeling, no GREEDY thrill-seekers, those who FEED off these usually STEPHEN King authored tales of fiction love to buy, & will buy to keep the printing presses hot & rolling, the movie moguls wheeling & dealing, and on & on it goes.
I am NOT Stephen King dear ones.
I am a Mom with a family I cherish very dearly.
I RESPECT their privacy & need to make peace with this too, in their own ways & times.
I am not an all-seeing, knowing empress who can figure that out.
I am not a psychic either. I did not truly foresee the plan, the plot, that Daniel had devised to lead me to these moments, the highlights of which I have shared. From my own perspective, the IMPORTANT ones: simply to let those who are looking from a great distance at this whole encounter, & who have not been able to be close, to witness in a far more intimate way the encouraging signs, the optimism, the changes that have carried us all thus far.
However, I would ask that, if you are sincerely interested, you do the heavy lifting yourself. You make the pilgrimage necessary to check out the authenticity, the reality of the real events that did occur as they have been faithfully rendered in a more conservative & responsible local New England press, by reporters who have reported on the public & criminal trial which ensued, the sentencing having only been rendered at the end of THIS past January, to coincide with my 50th birthday.
Recovery is a journey too.
Yes, I am a survivor.
Yes I plan to remain a victor, but not the kind that parades around gloating about it.
A full victory for me; to continue to INSIST on the sanctity of the priviledged attorney/client relationship, the client/therapist relationship, & the intimacy of family dynamics which have always been held in strong families over time, within the care & concern of an extended family, which thankfully remains together in Spirit.
I will say as a matriarch who still loves both Lisa, who has passed beyond the veil, & Marilyn, my own daughter too, by adoption, that they remain forever a part of me.
You know the major markers, the major initiatory experiences now, which underly the passion of a lioness protecting her cubs.
I truly have only been reinforced in my commitment to love, to honor, & told hold sacred; sacred trusts & sacred secrets, given me in intimacy.
I share these moments, these highlights to help usher in a newborn society; one which will uphold the noble, the often unsung, & unpaid work of the lowly handmaid. The nurse.
There are thousands of us out there who never get their stories told, yet who have the patience of Job, the endurance of a marthoner to do the work no wimp could possibly perform.
Men & women who grace the nursing profession ALL are brave hearts. Braving the disdain a society that thinks being a powerful woman means shedding the softness & dawning a business suit that is black or charcoal grey.
Quite simply, you are wrong.
I have written this to say thank you Mom. For hanging in there, for being the most enduring mother a grown adult daughter also could ever want.
For respecting the need for sanctuary, & space & time. To just let it be when needed, to send cards when moved, to write, to call, to visit, & to be there the first shocking moments I managed to beat it out of the woods to those who have helped since then.
Mom, you DO look like Gig. You have earned her looks. And the gracious home that now houses Gigi's familiar beautiful velvet-padded mahogany rocking chair, now in your own gracious bedroom where the next generation of grandchildren are likewise knowing the joys of anticipating a visit to the grand parents. I celebrate you.
I uplift you. I hope there are more, who, in reading this, aspire to being grandmothers too, in the GRAND tradition of those old-fashioned values you have been an examplar of, as your own mother before you.
To my brother & sister I too express heartfelt gratitude that you are indeed my brother & sister. And that you have had the good taste to bring beautiful partners in to our family.
You have chosen fine "outlaws".
To my new daughter in law, I would like you to know how special & beautiful you are. What a jewel of a princess you are, & how much we all adore you.
To my own daughter, well you know. You are the answer to my prayers. You are all I could ever have hoped for in a daughter. I am so immensely proud of you.
And finally, last but definitely not least, my first born son.
I love you more than life itself. Your courage, your bravery, your selfless service in the military is a contribution to our national & international security none of us can ever possibly repay you for. YOU made ME a Mom.
Your daring, your incredible technical abilities, your swift mind, your massive intelligence, your BRAVE, BRAVE heart son, you ARE the first born son I dreamed of so long ago now, you ARE the fulfillment of my dreams, the apple of my eye, the one who still keeps me afloat when I think of the beauty you are, the cuddliness you were as a baby & young boy, the strength that you are now as a fine grown man.
I am SO PROUD of my whole family, regardless of the storms of emotions I have given vent to after this dark chapter in our collective life.
For those who care, keep the peace.
For those who care, send a donation.
For those who care, pray without ceasing, use the best tools I have found to deliver you from the many tragedies I know others are facing now, those I have parked at my website, those you have found on your own.
For those who care, give tender attention to those around you. In simple acts of kindness. Be gentle on yourselves, be gentle with each other.
This too, will pass, I bear you my testimony.
In the most blessed name, the name of the King of kings, the Lord of lords of all the earth
I am, Monica King
P.S.- If you truly care, for the remainder of this month I also invite you to think CONSCIOUSLY about what holidays you celebrate & HOW.
Rituals & ceremonies are VITAL. They are the glue, the "oil of civilization" my grandmother Farmor reminds me from the Heavenlies.
If you truly want peace on earth, this will be hastened by imbuing TRUE meaning, real memories of family celebrations which bind the family together, then the extended family, then the community, & the global village we call earth.
If you really care, the public school teachers in America will shift the preparations usually in high pitch by now for Halloween celebrations.
Yes, it is fun to get dressed up in costumes.
Could your celebratuions however be refined & revisioned to be considered celebrations of the harvest?
Could our little ones dress as folks we all admire rather than ghouls & goblins, with streeked painted on blood & hatchets coming out of their heads? Believe me, it is not really fun, nor does it serve any. It seems, from this perspective, that Halloween is a moment in our collective being when we ALLOW the darkest side of natures to fulminate.
I am not debating here whether there is a devil or not. If there is, why give him any more power than he already appears to possess? Have we not grown weary ENOUGH of giving him his playground here on earth????
Banish him from your homes. Do something different this year.
Spend the day instead by putting your gardens to bed, counting your blessings, & lighting a candle for peace. My struggle in the wilderness will have gained more meaning this way.
Dress up like a nurse for once if you want to dress up.
Or just be yourselves & invite others to share what harvest you have.
Bake some cookies from scratch. Smell the pleasure of your own baked goods. Break out the guitars, the tamborines, the musical instruments & entertain yourselves.
Tell each other how you FEEL.
How special those in your life ARE to you.
Gig is reminding me take time every day to COUNT YOUR blessings. If you are reading this, you are one the side of the digital divide of the "haves". Share that too. The computer revolution is spreading like wildfire because of "shareware". Let your share ware become care ware.
Success is not measured in the material stuff you have accumulated. It is nestled in the hearts of those you love with fondness, as they too, love you back. Nurture that. Cherish that.
Pray for those who are still locked away in darkness, & visit them in their loneliness. If they are still here in body, including Daniel, they are worthy of your concern.
LOVE the sinner while hating the sin.
That is truly what separated those who are highly evolved in their spiritual journey from the "stupid primitive morons" as I call them...
The greatest challenge of the Believer is to live that example in each daily encounter with the unlovely & the inhumane.
Spare yourselves the miserable journey Daniel has plunged himself into by failing this gigantic challenge himself.
And always, always tell the truth. No matter how ugly, how revolting. Do not sit still & watch your fellow earth citizens be taken off & secreted away to more dungeons, torture, & more pain.
I can guarantee you this solves nothing for no one.
Do not commit the sin of OMISSION. Act where you can to DEMAND with a holy zeal, REAL justice. Because without it, there can be no real mercy either. They are inexorably linked.
May Peace Prevail Upon the Earth.
I AM, Monica King
P.S.-
Here is a free gift recipe, with a history from one of the valiant friends who has been a constant source of humor & levity through it all in Milton, April...she sends me funny photos & humoruous jokes. She also happens to be another fiery & intellignet Itallian woman!
Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe...(From a Friend)
I love it when the little guy strikes back!
A little background: Neiman-Marcus, if you don't know already, is a very expensive store; i.e., they sell your typical $8.00 T-shirt for $50.
Let's let them have it! THIS IS A TRUE STORY!
My daughter and I had just finished a salad at a Neiman-Marcus Cafe in Dallas, and we decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the"Neiman-Marcus cookie."
It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe, and the waitress said with a small frown, "I'm afraid not, but you can buy the recipe."
Well, I asked how much, and she responded, "Only two fifty -it's a great deal!"
I agreed to that, and told her to just add it to my tab.
Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement, and the Neiman-Marcus
charge was $285.00! I looked again, and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for two
salads and about $20.00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom of the statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe-$250.00". That was outrageous!
I called Neiman's Accounting Department and told them the waitress said it was "two fifty", which clearly does not mean "two hundred and fifty dollars" by any reasonable interpretation of the phrase. Neiman-Marcus refused to budge.
They would not refund my money because, according to them, "What the waitress told you is not our problem. You have already seen the recipe. We absolutely will not refund your money at this point.
I explained to the Accounting Department lady the criminal statutes which govern fraud in the state of Texas. I threatened to report them to the Better Business Bureau and the Texas Attorney General's office for engaging in fraud. I was basically told, "Do what you want. Don't bother thinking of how you can get even, and don't bother trying to get any of your money back."
I just said, OK, you folks got my $250, and now I'm going to have $250 worth of fun."
I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in the United States with an e-mail account has a $250 cookie recipe from
Neiman-Marcus...
for FREE on me.
She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this."
I said, "Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you ripped
me
off!" and slammed down the phone. So here it is!
Please, please, please pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of.
I paid $250 for this, and I don't want Neiman-Marcus to EVER make
another
penny
off of this recipe!
NEIMAN-MARCUS COOKIES (Recipe may be halved)
5 cups blen ded oatmeal
2 cups butter
2 cups brown sugar
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
4 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. soda
24 oz. chocolate chips
1 - 8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated)
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)
Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder.
Cream the butter and both sugars.
Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt,
baking
powder, and soda.
Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar, and nuts.
Roll into balls, and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet.
Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies.
PLEASE READ THE RECIPE AND SEND IT TO EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW WHO HAS AN
E-MAIL
ADDRESS...THIS IS REALLY TERRIFIC!!
Even if the people on your e-mail list don't eat sweets send it to them
and
ask
them to pass it on. Let's make sure we get this woman's $250.00 worth.
Enjoy the cookies, they are good
This is an open letter to you you have developed or already had inherent within you, the courage to stick with my story to this point in time.
For the sake of the dignity & privacy of my own children, my own parents, my own friends, & the marvelous team of counselors, doctors, & friends, detectives, law enforcement agents, all those saints who have likewise been walking as sacred vessels, sharing the confidences of this encounter, faithfully; valiantly, who have been the links in my own chain of survival nearly two years ago now, I am not willing to reveal this story any further than I have to the public in this forum.
The inspiration to do so at this point has come from California, the southern coast, from the ripple effects this had had on some very dear friends who have been deeply affected, & who have not had a chance to see me at all since it occurred.
"Time in divided doses is what this patient needs" a friend of mine from long, long, ago, a Dr. Michael Pohl in New Zealand would say to me as we made rounds together in a small community hospital in Te Kuiti, a little town similar to the little town of Concord where my children grew up. A town the father of my children & I stayed in when we first spanned the globe together with our own bouncing, bubbly wee one in tow.
Where our daughter was conceived.
One of the things I personally, as the Mom here in all this, have been determined to do, is avoid the kind of cannibalism that has occurred on a regular basis in the media when a story like this, as factually accurate as I have faithfully rendered up to this point in time IS, results by allowing the media to "buy it".
For ratings. To fascinate the vulture-like curiosity of those who like unfeeling, no GREEDY thrill-seekers, those who FEED off these usually STEPHEN King authored tales of fiction love to buy, & will buy to keep the printing presses hot & rolling, the movie moguls wheeling & dealing, and on & on it goes.
I am NOT Stephen King dear ones.
I am a Mom with a family I cherish very dearly.
I RESPECT their privacy & need to make peace with this too, in their own ways & times.
I am not an all-seeing, knowing empress who can figure that out.
I am not a psychic either. I did not truly foresee the plan, the plot, that Daniel had devised to lead me to these moments, the highlights of which I have shared. From my own perspective, the IMPORTANT ones: simply to let those who are looking from a great distance at this whole encounter, & who have not been able to be close, to witness in a far more intimate way the encouraging signs, the optimism, the changes that have carried us all thus far.
However, I would ask that, if you are sincerely interested, you do the heavy lifting yourself. You make the pilgrimage necessary to check out the authenticity, the reality of the real events that did occur as they have been faithfully rendered in a more conservative & responsible local New England press, by reporters who have reported on the public & criminal trial which ensued, the sentencing having only been rendered at the end of THIS past January, to coincide with my 50th birthday.
Recovery is a journey too.
Yes, I am a survivor.
Yes I plan to remain a victor, but not the kind that parades around gloating about it.
A full victory for me; to continue to INSIST on the sanctity of the priviledged attorney/client relationship, the client/therapist relationship, & the intimacy of family dynamics which have always been held in strong families over time, within the care & concern of an extended family, which thankfully remains together in Spirit.
I will say as a matriarch who still loves both Lisa, who has passed beyond the veil, & Marilyn, my own daughter too, by adoption, that they remain forever a part of me.
You know the major markers, the major initiatory experiences now, which underly the passion of a lioness protecting her cubs.
I truly have only been reinforced in my commitment to love, to honor, & told hold sacred; sacred trusts & sacred secrets, given me in intimacy.
I share these moments, these highlights to help usher in a newborn society; one which will uphold the noble, the often unsung, & unpaid work of the lowly handmaid. The nurse.
There are thousands of us out there who never get their stories told, yet who have the patience of Job, the endurance of a marthoner to do the work no wimp could possibly perform.
Men & women who grace the nursing profession ALL are brave hearts. Braving the disdain a society that thinks being a powerful woman means shedding the softness & dawning a business suit that is black or charcoal grey.
Quite simply, you are wrong.
I have written this to say thank you Mom. For hanging in there, for being the most enduring mother a grown adult daughter also could ever want.
For respecting the need for sanctuary, & space & time. To just let it be when needed, to send cards when moved, to write, to call, to visit, & to be there the first shocking moments I managed to beat it out of the woods to those who have helped since then.
Mom, you DO look like Gig. You have earned her looks. And the gracious home that now houses Gigi's familiar beautiful velvet-padded mahogany rocking chair, now in your own gracious bedroom where the next generation of grandchildren are likewise knowing the joys of anticipating a visit to the grand parents. I celebrate you.
I uplift you. I hope there are more, who, in reading this, aspire to being grandmothers too, in the GRAND tradition of those old-fashioned values you have been an examplar of, as your own mother before you.
To my brother & sister I too express heartfelt gratitude that you are indeed my brother & sister. And that you have had the good taste to bring beautiful partners in to our family.
You have chosen fine "outlaws".
To my new daughter in law, I would like you to know how special & beautiful you are. What a jewel of a princess you are, & how much we all adore you.
To my own daughter, well you know. You are the answer to my prayers. You are all I could ever have hoped for in a daughter. I am so immensely proud of you.
And finally, last but definitely not least, my first born son.
I love you more than life itself. Your courage, your bravery, your selfless service in the military is a contribution to our national & international security none of us can ever possibly repay you for. YOU made ME a Mom.
Your daring, your incredible technical abilities, your swift mind, your massive intelligence, your BRAVE, BRAVE heart son, you ARE the first born son I dreamed of so long ago now, you ARE the fulfillment of my dreams, the apple of my eye, the one who still keeps me afloat when I think of the beauty you are, the cuddliness you were as a baby & young boy, the strength that you are now as a fine grown man.
I am SO PROUD of my whole family, regardless of the storms of emotions I have given vent to after this dark chapter in our collective life.
For those who care, keep the peace.
For those who care, send a donation.
For those who care, pray without ceasing, use the best tools I have found to deliver you from the many tragedies I know others are facing now, those I have parked at my website, those you have found on your own.
For those who care, give tender attention to those around you. In simple acts of kindness. Be gentle on yourselves, be gentle with each other.
This too, will pass, I bear you my testimony.
In the most blessed name, the name of the King of kings, the Lord of lords of all the earth
I am, Monica King
P.S.- If you truly care, for the remainder of this month I also invite you to think CONSCIOUSLY about what holidays you celebrate & HOW.
Rituals & ceremonies are VITAL. They are the glue, the "oil of civilization" my grandmother Farmor reminds me from the Heavenlies.
If you truly want peace on earth, this will be hastened by imbuing TRUE meaning, real memories of family celebrations which bind the family together, then the extended family, then the community, & the global village we call earth.
If you really care, the public school teachers in America will shift the preparations usually in high pitch by now for Halloween celebrations.
Yes, it is fun to get dressed up in costumes.
Could your celebratuions however be refined & revisioned to be considered celebrations of the harvest?
Could our little ones dress as folks we all admire rather than ghouls & goblins, with streeked painted on blood & hatchets coming out of their heads? Believe me, it is not really fun, nor does it serve any. It seems, from this perspective, that Halloween is a moment in our collective being when we ALLOW the darkest side of natures to fulminate.
I am not debating here whether there is a devil or not. If there is, why give him any more power than he already appears to possess? Have we not grown weary ENOUGH of giving him his playground here on earth????
Banish him from your homes. Do something different this year.
Spend the day instead by putting your gardens to bed, counting your blessings, & lighting a candle for peace. My struggle in the wilderness will have gained more meaning this way.
Dress up like a nurse for once if you want to dress up.
Or just be yourselves & invite others to share what harvest you have.
Bake some cookies from scratch. Smell the pleasure of your own baked goods. Break out the guitars, the tamborines, the musical instruments & entertain yourselves.
Tell each other how you FEEL.
How special those in your life ARE to you.
Gig is reminding me take time every day to COUNT YOUR blessings. If you are reading this, you are one the side of the digital divide of the "haves". Share that too. The computer revolution is spreading like wildfire because of "shareware". Let your share ware become care ware.
Success is not measured in the material stuff you have accumulated. It is nestled in the hearts of those you love with fondness, as they too, love you back. Nurture that. Cherish that.
Pray for those who are still locked away in darkness, & visit them in their loneliness. If they are still here in body, including Daniel, they are worthy of your concern.
LOVE the sinner while hating the sin.
That is truly what separated those who are highly evolved in their spiritual journey from the "stupid primitive morons" as I call them...
The greatest challenge of the Believer is to live that example in each daily encounter with the unlovely & the inhumane.
Spare yourselves the miserable journey Daniel has plunged himself into by failing this gigantic challenge himself.
And always, always tell the truth. No matter how ugly, how revolting. Do not sit still & watch your fellow earth citizens be taken off & secreted away to more dungeons, torture, & more pain.
I can guarantee you this solves nothing for no one.
Do not commit the sin of OMISSION. Act where you can to DEMAND with a holy zeal, REAL justice. Because without it, there can be no real mercy either. They are inexorably linked.
May Peace Prevail Upon the Earth.
I AM, Monica King
P.S.-
Here is a free gift recipe, with a history from one of the valiant friends who has been a constant source of humor & levity through it all in Milton, April...she sends me funny photos & humoruous jokes. She also happens to be another fiery & intellignet Itallian woman!
Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe...(From a Friend)
I love it when the little guy strikes back!
A little background: Neiman-Marcus, if you don't know already, is a very expensive store; i.e., they sell your typical $8.00 T-shirt for $50.
Let's let them have it! THIS IS A TRUE STORY!
My daughter and I had just finished a salad at a Neiman-Marcus Cafe in Dallas, and we decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the"Neiman-Marcus cookie."
It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe, and the waitress said with a small frown, "I'm afraid not, but you can buy the recipe."
Well, I asked how much, and she responded, "Only two fifty -it's a great deal!"
I agreed to that, and told her to just add it to my tab.
Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement, and the Neiman-Marcus
charge was $285.00! I looked again, and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for two
salads and about $20.00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom of the statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe-$250.00". That was outrageous!
I called Neiman's Accounting Department and told them the waitress said it was "two fifty", which clearly does not mean "two hundred and fifty dollars" by any reasonable interpretation of the phrase. Neiman-Marcus refused to budge.
They would not refund my money because, according to them, "What the waitress told you is not our problem. You have already seen the recipe. We absolutely will not refund your money at this point.
I explained to the Accounting Department lady the criminal statutes which govern fraud in the state of Texas. I threatened to report them to the Better Business Bureau and the Texas Attorney General's office for engaging in fraud. I was basically told, "Do what you want. Don't bother thinking of how you can get even, and don't bother trying to get any of your money back."
I just said, OK, you folks got my $250, and now I'm going to have $250 worth of fun."
I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in the United States with an e-mail account has a $250 cookie recipe from
Neiman-Marcus...
for FREE on me.
She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this."
I said, "Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you ripped
me
off!" and slammed down the phone. So here it is!
Please, please, please pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of.
I paid $250 for this, and I don't want Neiman-Marcus to EVER make
another
penny
off of this recipe!
NEIMAN-MARCUS COOKIES (Recipe may be halved)
5 cups blen ded oatmeal
2 cups butter
2 cups brown sugar
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
4 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. soda
24 oz. chocolate chips
1 - 8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated)
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)
Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder.
Cream the butter and both sugars.
Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt,
baking
powder, and soda.
Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar, and nuts.
Roll into balls, and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet.
Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies.
PLEASE READ THE RECIPE AND SEND IT TO EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW WHO HAS AN
ADDRESS...THIS IS REALLY TERRIFIC!!
Even if the people on your e-mail list don't eat sweets send it to them
and
ask
them to pass it on. Let's make sure we get this woman's $250.00 worth.
Enjoy the cookies, they are good
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