Spam, Anyone?
Lula Thomas
June 19, 2007
I read that Burger King is now offering Spam for breakfast in Hawaii. I guess the islanders love the stuff. You know Spam, surely? It comes vacuum-sealed in a can that you have to peel open. It’s pale pink and when you shake it from the can it lands—kerplunk!—like a giant pencil eraser onto your plate. Except there’s icky, gooey stuff sticking to it. They said that’s gel, but they surely don’t mean jell-o. It’s nowhere as appetizing.
I just stare at it and go, “Bleech!” and then dispose of it.
Years ago, the business where I worked gave all employees a two-pound vacuum-sealed can of ham. Not to be confused with Spam, because this ham came in a larger container. We unpeeled it, dropped that weight onto a plate, looked at it, and gave it to the dogs. Guess what? The dogs smelled it and looked back at us. You could hear their thoughts going something like, “You don’t expect us to eat this stuff?” The memory of my canines’ expressions have always stayed with me. If they refused ham, then so do I. I don’t touch the stuff.
And so now there’s this blob of Spam. Kinda reminds me of a miniature ham.
Anyway, now with the internet and email, there’s something else going around called spam. Any relation to what I’ve been talking about? I wonder.
This spam sure gets a lot of bad rap. No one likes it and no one wants it. Even though it’s very popular and shows up everywhere, folks want to get rid of it. When I read about it, I recall my dogs’ looks.
Now I find it crammed in my own email boxes. I never ordered the stuff. I don’t care if it is free. Why are these ‘spammers’ wanting to push it on me? I get the same revulsion I had when that pale pink ooze slammed into the plate—“Bleech!”
I wonder about those folks in Hawaii. If they like Spam so much they’re willing to pay for it, does that mean I can sell my free supply to them? Hmm, now there’s an idea.
Coyright 2007 by Lula M. Thomas
I just stare at it and go, “Bleech!” and then dispose of it.
Years ago, the business where I worked gave all employees a two-pound vacuum-sealed can of ham. Not to be confused with Spam, because this ham came in a larger container. We unpeeled it, dropped that weight onto a plate, looked at it, and gave it to the dogs. Guess what? The dogs smelled it and looked back at us. You could hear their thoughts going something like, “You don’t expect us to eat this stuff?” The memory of my canines’ expressions have always stayed with me. If they refused ham, then so do I. I don’t touch the stuff.
And so now there’s this blob of Spam. Kinda reminds me of a miniature ham.
Anyway, now with the internet and email, there’s something else going around called spam. Any relation to what I’ve been talking about? I wonder.
This spam sure gets a lot of bad rap. No one likes it and no one wants it. Even though it’s very popular and shows up everywhere, folks want to get rid of it. When I read about it, I recall my dogs’ looks.
Now I find it crammed in my own email boxes. I never ordered the stuff. I don’t care if it is free. Why are these ‘spammers’ wanting to push it on me? I get the same revulsion I had when that pale pink ooze slammed into the plate—“Bleech!”
I wonder about those folks in Hawaii. If they like Spam so much they’re willing to pay for it, does that mean I can sell my free supply to them? Hmm, now there’s an idea.
Coyright 2007 by Lula M. Thomas
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